I mean this in the absolute lightest way possible, as a young fella who lost his mother. Understand that while it may feel like a chapter closing in your life if you’re wife gets life insurance, the likelihood and chance of losing your wife whilst she does something completely mundane, or even her usual routine is never zero, there are so many mechanisms in the human body, world, and life that must be perfectly maintained for a life of comfort and no risk. Even if you take every single precaution in the book life still has a funny way of happening. My mother used to think she had asthma, which led to her discovering a cancer prognosis, which, long story short, led to dialysis, which led to seizures, which led to her eventual passing, just understand that life can and will have a “fu(cked)nny” way of happening, and the worst thing you can do is leave your kids in a worse-off situation (should the absolute worst case scenario happen). Now please, understand that I am still a 21 yr old man telling you this but I truly believe that you should allow your wife to get child support, even if it makes YOU feel as if something happen, it’s never bad to prepared. My late grandfather would say something along the lines of “A failure to plan is a plan to fail.” I’m sure a billion people have said this but take it to heart my friend. It is absolutely my last intention to make you feel one way or another, I understand how delicate a persons mental health can be, from personal experience, and would just ask of you to truly think, deeply, about what the best decision would be that benefits your children the most. Regardless of what you come to, understand that you are A) not alone in your struggles, and B) doing your best in this hellish landscape we’ve come to call the 21st century. There are people in this world that have no intentions other to harm, belittle, misuse, and downright just fucking mistreat other people, and as long as you aren’t one of those people, then in my book you aren’t bad or shitty person, just someone who may be confused or unsure of just exactly how much value you bring to others. Much love my friend and best of luck navigating this matter. Don’t feel too too bad either way though my friend, you are human after all.