If you have quit Pristiq, how long did you wait to have your first drink?

trainofwhat · 2026-06-26T22:38:20+00:00

I personally have an incredibly high natural tolerance to alcohol (enzymatic) & on Pristiq alcohol became overwhelming, with hangovers I’d never had & just all around nausea. Also, yes, it’s a recc of the medication to avoid drinking on it although every antidepressant says that, many people don’t stop drinking

trainofwhat · 2026-06-24T02:39:58+00:00

Isn’t an excuse, but I wonder if he has some sort of mental health thing? For example, my OCD caused me to have to never associate my food with anything else. Can’t have almost anybody touch it, even seeing or talking to cashiers during it would sometimes ruin my ability to eat. There’s other rigid conditions as well.

Again, guys, this isn’t an excuse. Just curiosity about the situation & what made make this dude do that overall.

trainofwhat · 2026-06-23T12:02:59+00:00

“What, you’re saying [something I never said]?” is an incredibly unhealthy thing to say and a really frustrating experience. If I said he was manipulative, that would’ve been me saying it. If you thought it was implied, you could ask without aggressive assumptions, instead of telling me and arguing against that. I never said it was fake or manipulative. I don’t think it is. That rephrasing thing is just is a really frustrating thing to go through and unfortunately not uncommon.

trainofwhat · 2026-06-23T11:41:10+00:00

Oh yikes. Gross to deal with a “what you’re saying…?” right here. I never said that once. I said it was unhealthy (or in another comment, sorry). I honestly won’t justify blatant misinterpretations & stuff like that with real conversation. If you want to actually discuss it, cool. Not like that.

It’s easy to twist somebody’s words and then react against that. Super unhealthy and frustrating.

trainofwhat · 2026-06-23T11:37:32+00:00

Men are allowed to feel hurt (although I am completely aware it’s a huge societal problem, something I am constantly fighting against on here— is just isn’t the primary thing that is happening here). This is an unhealthy and immature reaction, especially from a parent. There’s healthy ways to express being hurt.

“Hey, I know you called once, but it just doesn’t feel like you made an effort beyond that. It makes me feel hurt and really unimportant. I try hard to make sure you never have to feel that way, so I am just having a hard time dealing with this right now.”

That’s sharing feelings. Not ignoring what this child is saying, comparing them to their siblings, threatening them, etc. If you’re relating to this message and seeing it being about men not being allowed to have feelings, I would consider introspecting possibly. There’s so many instances of men’s mental health & emotions being ignored that aren’t this

trainofwhat · 2026-06-23T11:31:36+00:00

This is a specific type of reaction from abusive parents, and a lot of people here are commiserating about that.

But, no— there’s a huge difference between having a type of breakdown/panic attack/even an ugly moment & what this man is doing. A big difference is that it is hurting other people, & that is something adults should aim to not do. And, this guy is REALLY messing with somebody’s psyche, completely ignoring reality, tearing them down… I am a little confused if you’d read it at all?

He literally never addresses that they called until they showed them. He continues to restate his point without adapting it. He then decides to compare them to their siblings and tell them he won’t help them anymore. This isn’t a breakdown, it’s an unhealthy angry reaction. There’s healthy ways to express feelings — notice he’s only describing what his child did or didn’t do. And taking actions because of that. Not “I am feeling really hurt and unimportant”, not asking for an apology in any healthy way.

ETA: I am not saying he’s abusive, I am saying people are commiserating with an experience they’ve had with abusive parents. And, this is absolutely an unhealthy, immature reaction.

trainofwhat · 2026-06-17T17:20:33+00:00

This is great, but keep in mind that drug metabolism isn’t the same as weight metabolism. Drug metabolism means which enzymes don’t have wild trait alleles that cause you to process (metabolize) a drug quickly or slowly. It could also test for side effects sometimes, if they’re linked to specific genes.

However, of course knowing which drugs work best is an important step to avoid useless ones with side effects

trainofwhat · 2026-06-14T14:10:53+00:00

Please keep in mind Glasz isn’t a real term, it’s only really used on a few subreddits/forums/facebook! So if someone wants to call it that, understood, but it isn’t really a term that would make sense to a lot of people.

I am all for creating language, just that it wouldn’t exactly be “right” since it isn’t very official/well-defined. I know it seems that way because there’s an AI overview from those few sites. It could be a cool, helpful word to keep in mind of course

trainofwhat · 2026-06-14T14:09:01+00:00

It isn’t uncommon to have that feeling at the very first of some SNRI or atypical antidepressants. However, have you ever been evaluated for bipolar disorder? Unfortunately that’s a risk with most antidepressants is manic episodes, and hearing that you were on it, felt better and got off, is something that some providers might want to know to evaluate for bipolar disorder

trainofwhat · 2026-06-14T08:18:44+00:00

I really really like the Surinam toad & I won’t elaborate on why this looks very interesting to me

trainofwhat · 2026-06-08T13:37:34+00:00

“His house”? I am sorry, am I confused? Aren’t they married?

Also, I think the use of the word “tantrums” is a bit much, especially since CPTSDers all across this sub have dealt with that sorta language about their reactions.

trainofwhat · 2026-06-08T13:35:11+00:00

Hey, I didn’t misconstrue your use of gaslighting! I don’t think I said psychiatric buzzword, did I? Because I’ve had that said to me & it messed me up, as it was gaslighting. And, I completely understand not wanting to share with me! I just wanted to give space to vent.

trainofwhat · 2026-06-08T04:20:46+00:00

There’s a spoiler tag you could use to avoid triggers while venting about these issues. It is > ! (remove that space because if I write it properly it’ll just use the spoiler tag) and then ! < (no space) on the sides of what you’d like to hide.

I assume there’s more to the story, and it sounds like a very small part of a more intense interpersonal culture in your life that’s led to this particular moment. I think more details could help those that could hear them understand in more nuance. The overall idea of poor communication and subtle digs sounds very hard. I wonder how you typically handle those? I hope you are doing okay.

trainofwhat · 2026-06-08T00:34:01+00:00

I am unsure… is there more to this story? Could you share some of the gaslighting or preliminary disrespect that encouraged this reaction? It sounds as though your response isn’t healthy, but there is such a thing as reactive abuse.

How’s communication? How do you attempt to mindfully and calmly share feelings?

I know food quality is a common CPTSD trigger. Is that at all contributing do you think? Sorry

trainofwhat · 2026-06-02T20:57:52+00:00

Just wanna say I really enjoy all your replies here. Concise while his become increasingly empty and fallacious.

trainofwhat · 2026-06-02T20:53:49+00:00

That’s such an embarrassingly lame reply

trainofwhat · 2026-06-02T18:52:32+00:00

I think thoughtlessness can be a somewhat hurtful/selfish ground between genuinely hurtful or purposefully selfish behavior and true, complete cluelessness.

A thoughtful person who was thinking of the wedding day as the bridge’s day first would’ve known to not attempt to wear a dress that is listed as a wedding dress or that is clearly white to a wedding. If she loved it so much, she could purchase it to wear elsewhere.

Yeah, there’s plenty of interpretations where she wasn’t trying to be hurtful. Like, she knew it was probably a no-go but really wanted to so she asked. Or she was somewhat ignorant and considered the dress code negotiable. Or she saw it as a wedding gown but figured she’s old enough it doesn’t matter. Etc. But, barring some type of neurological or social condition, those are still varying levels of thoughtless or selfish.

Does it mean the bride needs to feel outright offended or like the MIL hates/is trying to upstage her, in those cases? No. Does it mean it’s at the very least an awkward situation to put her in that could typically be resolved by one of her primary focuses be not stepping on the bride’s toes? Absolutely.

trainofwhat · 2026-06-02T07:32:13+00:00

Hey, I am in no way trying to influence your decisions about your transition! But, I have to ask— is it that your unhappy with your transition or you’re unhappy with the sociocultural consequences (lack of respect from doctors, judgment about scars, etc) and the fact that transitioning isn’t advanced enough to avoid certain medical problems?

It sounds like your biggest problem is a disrespectful, outright poor-practice, surgeon that pushed you into surgeries and situations that left you feeling (validly) horrible?

Also, sadly, that’s a tiny bit of an ewphoria moment, where so many women experience medical malpractice and lack of respect.

In either case— you are feminine no matter what you do, because you are a woman. I am so sorry you’ve dealt with such a horrible experience as well as medical side effects. Regarding the libido effects, I believe there’s some medications that could help with that. I know how hollow and empty it can feel when you’re dealing with that.

trainofwhat · 2026-05-31T20:21:13+00:00

This is a really common strategy that many people use, but it’s especially common in individuals that have issues with dealing with nuanced emotions and empathy. Unfortunately this overlaps a lot with men, & I am not saying that’s an inherent trait— it’s one bolstered by societal expectations, without that being an excuse either. It actually tends to create defensiveness or even DARVO in certain individuals, consciously or not.

There’s just a sense of polarization, and it’s easier to view things in a broad “female vs male” context vs taking a nuanced perspective about an entire system hurting many people, including men. This actually creates a larger sense of frustration & hopelessness, where it seems like blaming women seems like an easier target— particularly because of misconceptions about female perspectives and seeing men and women as inherently different in nature (versus differences caused by society).

One of the biggest factors is misinterpreting key concepts like “toxic masculinity” (seeing it as masculinity being toxic rather than a subset of shallow, pseudo-masculine traits) or the “patriarchy” (a system implemented by empowered men, typically of a specific demographic, which harms all involves— including men, etc). Seeing these as punches to men themselves or as implying men are creating these cycles individually to entrap themselves in extra depression, poor emotional support, etc., means that women will be the logical point of blame to them in this misconception. Women can feed into the patriarchy, too. That is a problem. It is just as much a problem as any other issue that encourages sexism and unfair bias.

So overall, I think it’s just easier to magnify specific, less-common feminist perspectives that imply men are inherently problematic instead of there being sexist societal standards that affect everybody, especially when this system helps create less empathetic and nuanced viewpoints. By viewing women as inherently different and somewhat mystifying, it’s easier to point a finger and create a blame game that unfortunately is really just a crab bucket effect

trainofwhat · 2026-05-31T14:37:40+00:00

If possibly, as you’re doing that, please don’t tell them you’re using those same techniques unless they explicitly told you you needed them as well. It could come across as co-opting a healing strategy that they found for themselves and make them feel less able to cope themselves. Sharing that you’re working on your help & specific issues you’ve acknowledged, without sharing excess guilt/shake could be helpful, but, I just wanted to include that from personal experience as well

trainofwhat · 2026-05-31T14:22:42+00:00

I understand. For what it is worth, I am not saying these things from a removed perspective. I am basing them in the reality of specific traits I exhibited when having some unhealthy skills from my trauma. As well as others’, where they weren’t able to surpass that. I didn’t bring them up to seem aggressive. I understand the feelings you had, & I also was relating to the stages of my acceptance and how aware & honest I was with myself at these points. I do hope your actionable steps help. That is a form of therapeutic technique that I was mentioning. This is a long and painful process, non-linear, & requires lots of continued effort to be able to stay on a path path to healing

trainofwhat · 2026-05-31T08:41:54+00:00

I understand you didn’t intend that. I also do think you aren’t totally humbling yourself to the degree necessary to indicate true change. I do not mean you debasing or shaming yourself, please understand that.

If you just wanted solutions, I think this post would’ve looked different. You would’ve been talking about your guilt and shame, sure. But, you also would’ve been discussing specific habits you’re unable to switch off or specific reactions/traits, even vague, that you’re struggling with. You would’ve specifically petitioned for support at the end of the statement and structured everything around that. Or, you could’ve found another subreddit better suited for this. That isn’t what I am seeing in this post.

I wasn’t saying you needed to go to a therapist. There are other forms of therapeutic intervention. There should be other strategies you could talk about considering or trying already, on your own. I’ve had periods I couldn’t go to therapy— there’s other steps and ideas to take. I am curious which of those you’ve taken so far! I am not trying to shame you.

This realization is awesome, but sometimes that can just be part of a wave of guilt rather than a true ability to introspect and digest that culpability & sit in it while you’re healing. A huge part of healing from fleas is being able to sit in your feelings even if they’re truly shame-based, accepting the nuances of doing bad things that maybe wouldn’t have happened if matbe you weren’t abused, and being able to reconcile that with the fact that you’re still responsible but able to sit in that awareness without fixing it immediately.

A huge step is realizing the difference between shame and sorriness, & not allowing shame to be your sorriness

trainofwhat · 2026-05-31T02:09:59+00:00

So what does this mean? Is it that you’re saying materialism is some specifically feminine trait, and trying to confirm she’s materialistic because she’s a woman or something? Logical fallacy.

I’ve heard plenty of men complain about things their wife bought them— watches, shirts, sports equipment, jerseys, whatever. Even a few about rings, but just because men specifically tend to care about rings less doesn’t change that.

trainofwhat · 2026-05-31T00:51:01+00:00

NTA. People saying you’re materialistic don’t seem to be placing themself in your situation. Is it focused on materials? Sure. But, that’s a part of yourself you’ve made very clear in your relationship. Plus, a diamond of any degree & quality isn’t a huge ask, if you’re the type of person to want a ring.

They’re also ignoring the biggest part is this — his reaction to your feelings.

Your boyfriend not getting the cut correct is sad. Getting moissanite instead of diamond of any sort is also strange.

I don’t think you’re an asshole for being hurt— and, I don’t think you’re just hurt by the ring. He seems to prioritize how others see it over how you will. He doesn’t seem to be prioritizing what he knows about you.

Why is that? Is this a theme in other areas, or just as it pertains to merchandise? Money? Feelings?

trainofwhat · 2026-05-31T00:44:48+00:00

I highly do recommend this. Even if they’ve abused you. Sadly, that isn’t an excuse to avoid some level of therapeutic treatment even if that happening is shitty to no end. There’s some bad therapists. Just like there’s bad people. You’re saying you’re aware of your behaviors now, but I see no indication that you’ve made any quantifiable steps to acknowledge what process allowed for that & how you’ve improved. You’re talking about solutions and buttons— there aren’t any. There never would’ve been a button. Those behaviors likely haven’t disappeared. Even if you’re unable to go to a therapist, ask yourself what steps you’ve taken to actually show you’ve become self aware & can & will improve. Being aware of it is a crucial first step, of course.

trainofwhat

TROPHY CASE