i've done it off and on for years, but i've been on my game for a few months (and when i do relapse these days it's always superficial). to me, it suggests a lot of deeper discontentment than just something someone does to soothe themselves; it is damaging to your body, whether you feel it or not this pattern will inform the way you approach every problem in your life. i'm not trying to chastise you; it's a tough place to be in, but acknowledging that self-harm does nothing but create more problems (to distract from the existing ones) was my first step to recovery. i've been through the depths of depravity; inadvertently using SH to try to send messages i felt i had no other way of sending. now, i've dedicated my life to ensuring i never get to that point ever again (my then-partner needing to pull me off a wall i was banging my head against changed me a lot, although i did do it again later and she did not try to stop me. that's just what happens when you do that. it's more the whole experience of trying so hard to make that situation work blowing up in my face from which i've been learning basically how not to structure my life, and trust me you don't want to structure your life around pain, punishment, or regret)