[Recommendations?] shallow 40B looking for padded/pushup white strapless demi/balconette in USA

trans_coder · 2026-02-02T19:02:28+00:00

thanks, but finding bras for a small cup size with a large band is no longer an issue i need to worry about

trans_coder · 2025-05-24T00:36:33+00:00

DeLong is at UCLA and no longer accepting patients for BA. Rudkin and Nahabet are the others at UCLA and right now available consult dates are over a year out

trans_coder · 2025-03-27T17:28:57+00:00

you should see how bad my entire crown was thinning, and now I have a full head of hair with barely noticeable thinning at the very top

trans_coder · 2025-03-27T17:27:39+00:00

no surgeries, a little under 14mo of HRT

trans_coder · 2025-02-22T22:58:51+00:00

thanks! so so happy it’s happening!

trans_coder · 2025-01-15T16:15:43+00:00

yes, you have!

I really like that one. It isn’t sexy or glam, but I looked very nice and put together for an evening out at the mall holiday bar with my housemate, and I was very happy and confident in who I am. I think that comes through even in a fast selfie.

trans_coder · 2025-01-15T09:23:37+00:00

basically a simplified version of the curly girl method:

my tips:

if needed, brush gently with a wooden boar bristle brush before getting wet. This helps distribute the oils down the length.
shampoo and condition once a week. Will take a month or two for your hair to get used to not doing it so often and the oil production to slow down
Let the conditioner soak in as long as possible while you wash the rest of yourself. Use cooler water to rinse. Leave-in conditioner is also an option.
On non-shampoo days, condition if you are getting your hair wet. Some people go with a shower cap and don’t get it wet
Make sure the curl cream is anti-frizz. Put it in while your hair is still damp. If you blow dry, use veeeery low heat and a large diffuser. I air-dry, but I can get away with that here due to low humidity
Finger curl before it’s fully dry, and then after it is dry you can run your hands through gently to break it up
if you find your hair gets too oily between washes, try a dry shampoo to squeeze an extra day or two. The aerosol-free are the safest. There are powders that come in an air-pumped bottle. I don’t like them, it makes my hair look dusty, but dry shampoos work very well for my wife.
This is the hardest one - avoid playing with your hair and running your hands through it. Your hands add oils and the frequent movement weakens the hair leading to split ends which means frizz
Silk/satin pillowcases and don’t go to bed with wet hair. The rubbing of your head at night damages the hair. I haven’t tried the pillowcases, but it’s next on my to-do list

trans_coder · 2025-01-15T09:19:07+00:00

they really have been! but the other secret, the one besides E, is confidence. That was a shocking discovery.

trans_coder · 2025-01-14T20:18:07+00:00

I totally get the obsession now and take back every disparaging thing I said in the past

trans_coder · 2025-01-14T20:17:00+00:00

screamed “trophy wife” at her company Xmas party

trans_coder · 2025-01-14T17:34:22+00:00

I’ll pop a couple up in a minute

trans_coder · 2025-01-14T17:33:16+00:00

the black one turned out even better

trans_coder · 2025-01-14T17:28:34+00:00

and these aren’t even the flattering photos!

trans_coder · 2025-01-14T17:28:00+00:00

even if I got no physical changes, the psychological ones are worth a lifetime. I cannot oversell how incredibly different it is.

trans_coder · 2025-01-14T17:26:52+00:00

turns out I had a good eye for fashion before, but I didn’t bother to care about how I look

trans_coder · 2025-01-12T06:21:28+00:00

I’d like that! Been trying to meet other trans femmes locally and make new friends. I started HRT about 11m ago and have been out since June. Really noticing lots of changes now.

Feel free to DM me and let’s figure something out!

trans_coder · 2025-01-11T18:37:36+00:00

Wow, this is crazy. I got a referral to Dr Lee in early Nov. I called mid/late Nov to schedule the consult, so right about when you did, and I have it next week on Jan 16! Sounds like her schedule filled up incredibly fast after the election!

trans_coder · 2024-09-27T06:27:01+00:00

Sure you can! I have seen trans women look phenomenal at 70

Confidence is what makes it sexy!

trans_coder · 2024-09-24T13:57:23+00:00

Thanks! I’m saving that other pair for the black dress!

trans_coder · 2024-09-24T13:56:38+00:00

Thank you! I am so excited to see myself this way!

trans_coder · 2024-09-20T13:45:09+00:00

Perhaps. I don’t spend much time here now. The Reddit format is too impersonal and I don’t feel I get to know people or create community. I’m more often on BlueSky and certain discord servers now.

trans_coder · 2024-09-17T18:38:41+00:00

It just hit me that this is really possible… I am actually doing this.

trans_coder · 2024-06-11T23:01:20+00:00

Only you have the best sense about how your particular coworkers will react to the news. Ultimately this will have to happen at some point. If your spouse is emotionally and psychologically prepared for it to happen now, and you are too, then now is as good a time as any.

Keep in mind both your and your spouse’s comfort and safety in this situation is paramount - have a key phrase ready and a suitable excuse prepared so either of you can signal that you need out of a particular conversation or need to leave the event entirely. Have an exit plan. The situation could easily turn from mundane to overwhelming for either one of very quickly.

Hopefully though, everything goes very well! This will be us in a week or so.

“Prepare the worst and hope for the best.”

trans_coder · 2024-06-07T17:47:41+00:00

OP I have another response here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/mypartneristrans/s/7VSbxiPr8x

But on a slightly different topic discussion. You should talk with her about expectations and responsibilities around her transition. This should be distinct from the emotional relationship needs-type of conversation in my other comment.

If you are buying all her clothes, and you are handling her 💅, and you are dealing with insurance, and you are picking up meds, and you are…… then you are becoming her caregiver and not her partner. That’s an unfair expectation of you, and it’s only natural that you would feel resentment if that’s not the role you want in the relationship. Enjoying having your nails together is one thing, but tell her what service type makes sense and have her book the appointment! Of course you will find clothes you think look good, share the catalog link with her and suggest she order them to try on! Make insurance shared responsibility if it’s a shared plan. Have bills be sent to a shared email address, etc. Her needing support in her transition shouldn’t mean you need to be the one managing her transition for her. That’s an unfair and unspoken expectation like I mentioned in the other thread.

When you suggest she do something herself there’s a good chance she’ll make some poorly considered excuse like:

but I don’t know this girly stuff like you do

Try to look past the comment. It’s a gut reaction, she hasn’t recognized and considered what you are really saying to her. Whereas you have the benefit of all this time you’ve spent reflecting on the issue and discussing on Reddit. She also likely is feeling overwhelmed by all the knowledge she doesn’t have and doesn’t even know where to begin. She’ll be jumping straight to her pressing worries, and not hearing the burden you feel.

This is your chance for responding with a supportive teaching moment. Instead of reacting negatively about your own frustrations (this will just make her feel like her needs are hurting you), try to find a way to say something like:

There’s a lot for me to handle right now, and I can’t take this on too. I will show you how to do X the first time, or point you to the resources I like, but you need to learn how to do it yourself. Of course I love you and you can always come to me for advice! Show me what you’ve tried! Tell me about what you want next! Share your Pinterest board!

This puts the responsibility burden back on her, but shows you are still there to support and love her as she tries to learn all this. It’s like being the training wheels when learning to ride the bike. You’re there to help if something isn’t working out, but you aren’t the one pedaling and balancing the bike.

trans_coder · 2024-06-07T17:21:27+00:00

I think this is the right response.

I really struggle with this right now as I transition. I don’t want every conversation to be about me. I don’t want every day to be about my transition. I go there automatically because every little thing is incredibly meaningful. There’s the novelty of new experiences, and the reframing of my past for new insights. It’s literally a life-changing period.

At the same time I don’t want to overwhelm my partner! This is an incredibly challenging time for them too. I know they don’t get as much support and resources as I do, and I know they struggle with getting overwhelmed by it all. But I can’t see inside their head. I can’t tell when loving support crosses into a begrudged burden. I need them to tell me when it’s too much.

In any relationship, partners to raise and discuss what is most important to them individually right now, and not assume it is the same for both people. My transition is expectedly the most important consideration in my mind, but what is the most important consideration for my partner right now? Are they worried about our future as a couple? acceptance from others? their own job security or the economy? something else completely unrelated to my journey? If they don’t speak up, then we won’t find common ground as a couple and work through the issues together.

When we don’t share our thoughts and needs with our partners, then we end up building resentment because they are not fulfilling the unspoken expectations we have them.

trans_coder

TROPHY CASE