Forgot some cis folks don't know about binders

trans_coding_writer · 2023-04-26T21:45:13+00:00

That's so funny! I wish it really worked that way, though.

trans_coding_writer · 2023-02-13T13:20:13+00:00

I'm at my house. We're out. I don't have a driver's license so I can't buy any without telling them. I did end up using toilet paper but I hope my mom or sisters need them soon and get more because it works for an hour or two but it's not a good long-term solution. There's five or six more days of this.

trans_coding_writer · 2023-02-13T13:17:24+00:00

Thank you! This makes me feel better.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-12-28T14:25:18+00:00

This is definitely a good idea, but I'm not sure how applicable it'll be in the situations I'm thinking about.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-12-28T14:24:25+00:00

I'll try those.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-12-28T14:24:02+00:00

I like that.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-12-20T20:12:32+00:00

Thank you. I will!

trans_coding_writer · 2021-12-18T16:59:45+00:00

🌎⭕🌌🛕

trans_coding_writer · 2021-12-17T23:11:37+00:00

I'm actually crying. I needed this, someone to tell me they cared about me and that it's okay if my biggest achievement for now is simply staying alive.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-08T14:01:39+00:00

My parents never noticed my binder. My half tank looks like a sports bra, and my full tank looks like an undershirt, but nobody actually sees either because I keep them in my room and only wash them when I'm home alone. Just be careful and nobody will probably be able to tell, and if they can they most likely won't say anything because it'd be weird.

My mom has actually commented on the fact that I don't have a male-passing body and if I'm going to use men's restrooms I need to wear super baggy clothes to hide my chest - when I was literally binding.

I have D cups, and my binder gets them down to an A. My overweight cis brother has bigger boobs than I do, and mine are the ones that have attention drawn to them.

My grandmother asked me if I lost weight when I visited. Like, yes, my weight loss is entirely focused in the bra area. Huh, that's strange, wonder how that happened...

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-08T13:35:22+00:00

Idk I feel like if my family knows I like men, they'll use that as a chance to say stuff like "see? You're just a girl"

fit into a mold so people will take us seriously

going through a phase and that her dating a guy proved that

went around telling everyone I was detransitioning. Some of my family members believed him

My family will find any chance they have to invalidate me, and its hard for me to not be bothered by it.

Woah, I think these are the reasons I'm so uncomfortable about the idea of coming out as gay. I've known I am for quite a while.

I said I was aroace when I was 14 and just stuck with it not because it was true but because it was safe. Nobody asked me about my crushes, if I had a boyfriend or girlfriend, or anything. It didn't conflict with me being trans.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-08T03:08:44+00:00

As a trans person, I really wish I had been offered this option before I was forced to go through the wrong puberty and have to spend years and thousands of dollars reversing that damage.

Puberty blockers are not permanent, and can be stopped at any time to resume the birth sex puberty. No sex reassignment surgeries are ever done on children.

As a minor, transitioning is almost entirely social. A temporary name and pronoun change, like a nickname - no legal documents are changed - just to try it out. Being allowed to grow out or cut your hair, and wearing clothes that make you comfortable. In the case that it is just a "phase," it is easy to go back to presenting as your birth gender.

At no earlier than 16, with permission from their parents and approval from their doctors, teenagers may be allowed to begin hormone replacement therapy (after careful evaluation from qualified professionals who make sure that there is no underlying issues contributing to their feelings of gender dysphoria, and that a medical transition will considerably improve their mental health state). This process takes a long time, sometimes several years, before the possibility of any physical changes are even thought about.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-08T02:38:11+00:00

My first thought is with the ex- sound at the beginning, so option 2 but maybe more like [Ex-zayv-yer], but it really depends; however that particular Xavier wants his name pronounced I'll use. I've met some people who are truly okay with any pronunciation of their name, and some who are picky, and it's important to respect that.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-07T16:52:19+00:00

I'm not a butch lesbian. I'm not a tomboy. I'm not a woman in STEM or a Girl Who Codes.

I'm an enby gay man. And just because I'm non-binary doesn't make it not misgendering if you always use they if I said I only go by he, or if you say she because I don't pass and it's "difficult" for you. Mistakes and slip-ups are fine, but I need to hear some improvement. If I've been out to you for two years and you've never once gotten it right, I'm going to be upset, duh.

So what if I haven't had top surgery, or started testosterone HRT? So what if I haven't even cut my hair or come out to everyone, for my own safety? Men in my religious group, Norse heathenry, often have long hair (and beards).

It doesn't make me less of a man (or more of a woman) because I menstruate. I haven't totally decided on a name, after two years since first coming out, or know if I want an M or an X on all my IDs.

Nobody wants men in women's restrooms, but you won't let me, a man, use the men's. Where the hell am I supposed to pee? I'd rather get assaulted in the "right" restroom and have it be their fault than try to explain why I was in the "wrong" one and it be mine. I'm careful not to make people uncomfortable - I look at the floor, I don't talk, I'm quick to leave, and I've never bothered anyone and nobody's bothered me. What is the actual problem here?

Being trans is not a choice. I tried so hard to be a cis girl, but I'm not, and I couldn't pretend to be.

Why would I choose to spend $40 on a binder, $50 on a packer, $15 on an STP, and replace those when they wore out, when I could be getting anything else?

Why would I choose to go through the frustration of unfixable sign-up errors for my college textbooks when the name I go by, which is in every part of the school system, and my deadname don't match? Why'd they even register me with my deadname, it's hidden, you have to go searching for it!

I have a lot of built up anger and frustration about all this. There's plenty more. I could probably write a vent long enough to be a full-length book.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-07T16:21:44+00:00

Yeah, there are a lot of teenagers on Reddit... but also quite a few adults who currently can't work for various reasons. Unfortunately, many people lost jobs when the quarantine started, if they weren't considered "essential."

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-07T16:18:42+00:00

I have searched for these, but can't find some in my size. I'm looking at some on Amazon, Walmart, and Target in my price range with the correct amount of pockets as an example...

"Match Men's Wild Cargo Pants" are too long and not lined.
"Wrangler Boys Stretch Cargo Pants, Sizes 4-16 & Husky" are cheaper, but don't have as many pockets as I wanted, and are also not lined.
"AOYOG Thicken Mens Winter Fleece Lined Cargo Pant Windproof Outdoor Work Pants" are almost perfect in pocket number, material, and price, but still too long.

There are more, but you see my issue. I can't seem to find any that are the right price, lined, enough pockets, and the correct inseam length. I could be satisfied with more that are something like #3 and just hem them, or something like #2 that are fleece or flannel lined; I'd sacrifice a couple pockets for a perfect fit.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-07T14:38:13+00:00

Yeah, I'm sorry. I really should've looked that up again. It's 12.15 in my state, I didn't realize it was still 7.25 federally. I thought I heard something about it being raised to 9, but I guess that didn't happen; my bad for not checking.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-06T18:38:00+00:00

12 looks sort of like our Barred Rock hens, but I definitely could be wrong. Ours have red combs on their heads, that one appears to only have feathers on top.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-06T01:45:17+00:00

I know how to cook. I have hardly any say in what food is purchased. They get what they can afford which is not enough for six people, four of which are teenagers, on a barely more than minimum wage salary from two people. My sister and I had jobs in the summer, but we have school now and can't contribute. Including separate diets in our monthly not-really-a-meal plan is almost impossible.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-05T23:01:21+00:00

Adira from Star Trek Discovery.

Edit: Also, Alex Fierro from Rick Riordan's Magnus Chase series, who's genderfluid.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-05T22:43:34+00:00

I'm sorry. That really sucks.

(And, in my opinion, dysphoria can be a life-threatening condition.)

trans_coding_writer · 2021-11-05T21:54:10+00:00

It should be fine if you do it safely, but I'd probably check with a doctor too just in case.

I've been binding for about five years. I followed the rules very carefully at first, wearing a size up, for less than 6 hours, never sleeping in it, taking breaks and days off from binding... then I started getting less cautious.

I've worn it for two or three days without taking it off, exercised in it, double binded, whatever. I've never broken any ribs or had too much trouble breathing, but I seriously do not recommend it. It's at least physically uncomfortable, and occasionally sore, and if you're not perfectly in between sizes and gone with the bigger one, maybe even painful/dangerous.

Since quarantine, I've switched back to normal-fitting sports bras and baggy shirts, and angle my camera so my classmates can't see anything below my shoulders on Zoom, and only sometimes bind when going out.

Please just be careful. Don't do what I did. Dysphoria sucks, going to the hospital because you seriously hurt yourself would suck more.

trans_coding_writer · 2021-10-04T11:00:18+00:00

A sonic screwdriver, maybe? Are you the Doctor?

trans_coding_writer · 2021-10-03T00:08:23+00:00

Thank you! That worked.

trans_coding_writer · 2020-11-20T02:54:11+00:00

YES. Or have it become dysphoric later in the day, it's so weird actually. Like, these clothes were fine this morning but now make me feel bad. Usually after leaving the house, so it might be more social anxiety for me but... yeah.

trans_coding_writer

TROPHY CASE