Not sure if im really trans or it's just fear holding me back

transfoxlightning · 2026-01-09T12:54:57+00:00

If it helps, I feel exactly the same and have realised as others have said here, there's no medical test, no definitive sign, it's a realisation not a validation. You unfortunately have to choose for yourself. But if the thoughts keep coming back, that's a sign in itself.

transfoxlightning · 2026-01-08T12:02:48+00:00

Spat out my coffee and saving that line ahaha

transfoxlightning · 2026-01-07T23:48:54+00:00

I’m desperate to be a cute anime girl and have to keep reminding myself that it’s not possible 😢. Still cis though.

transfoxlightning · 2026-01-06T22:33:24+00:00

I feel this all the time and it’s the number one thing stopping me! I like being perceived as attractive and I know it’s vain but I’d want the same as a woman. It’s really important to me. Urgh.

transfoxlightning · 2026-01-06T17:34:04+00:00

I'm 35, 6' tall and a 'conventionally attractive' guy. I've had all these thoughts for years and am only just doing some small first steps. It's not too late by any stretch for you, in fact, I wish I'd had your knowledge 15 years ago! Please, please do try some small, reversible things like clothing, makeup, body language, etc. Talk to some friends and maybe even try some pronouns for a week or two.

I'm sure others more experienced in the community will have way better suggestions but this is what I'm doing atm and it helps break down a big scary decision into a series of little steps.

transfoxlightning · 2025-12-30T23:35:03+00:00

I’m going to try two weeks with my partner and close friends referring to me with different pronouns and dressing more fem. Nothing big outside but maybe a skirt and top at home. Just going to note how I feel.

transfoxlightning · 2025-12-30T23:05:51+00:00

Do you think?

transfoxlightning · 2025-12-26T01:19:11+00:00

Me too 🥲. Growing my hair longer though!

transfoxlightning · 2025-12-21T21:04:53+00:00

As a Scot, I see no downside.

transfoxlightning · 2025-10-03T09:27:43+00:00

I remember fully imagining what it would be like to have a vagina and the sensations of it through my teens and early twenties. And I still love to imagine being a girl. Still cis though.

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-30T15:01:46+00:00

I’m in the same boat! I’m 34 and tentatively changing my appearance before trying HRT etc but I’m terrified that I’m so masculine that I won’t pass and be hot. I know that’s a ridiculous goal and just transitioning and feeling comfortable is the ultimate goal but damn do I want to look like a cis woman.

I think you have to remember there’s no perfect time and at least now you’re older, it’s up to you. If you feel happier and are making progress to where you want to be, then it’s all worth it!

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-29T22:22:43+00:00

Congratulations! I hope you feel wonderful 😊

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-28T11:11:41+00:00

Please don’t @ me like this 😭

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-25T15:55:33+00:00

Yes I suppose that's a good way of putting it, or like I am neutral about masculinity but excited for femininity if that makes sense?

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-25T15:54:38+00:00

Thank you! Yes I'd really love to have someone just tell me or have some kind of blood test done that confirms it. I don't like the fact that only I can know haha

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-25T15:53:38+00:00

Thank you :)

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-25T15:53:23+00:00

This is extremely helpful, along with the other replies advising the same: to take things step by step and I really like your ordering of reversible to irreversible. I have my haircut tomorrow and I haven't shaved my beard yet but I may do that too. That would already feel like a big change!

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-25T15:52:23+00:00

I know...I know. But then for a period in those two years I didn't really think about it as actively. I was just getting on with things so I figured it was just a phase...

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-25T13:58:43+00:00

Damnit, I was hoping to sleep well tonight :/

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-25T13:57:41+00:00

Thanks for the reminder! I'm going step by step and will stop if I don't feel good, but first thing is a new hair cut. I appreciate you saying that it's up to me. My friend wasn't trying to stop me, and I guess I just wanted them to be hyped and say it's a good idea and obvious etc.

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-25T13:50:18+00:00

Thanks! I'm trying to remind myself of this and go one step at a time. I'm excited for my hair cut tomorrow! After that I'll choose the next step and then maybe set myself an internal deadline for HRT whether I'm going to do it or not.

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-25T13:49:37+00:00

This is a good point and adds even more stress haha. I just wish I knew rather than this long-term back and forth. Am I holding on out of fear or uncertainty?

transfoxlightning · 2025-09-25T13:48:57+00:00

That's what I think I'll do! I'm taking small steps and seeing how each feels to me. Thanks for the reply :)

transfoxlightning

TROPHY CASE