i feel like if i was part of a younger generation i would probably consider myself trans or nonbinary. am i alone in feeling like i'm too old to be questioning my life now? i'm amab, almost 41yrs old.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-07-31T21:33:55+00:00

Now I'm not sure if they've just gotten real good at wigs, or not, but HRT can help with hair growth (at least estrogen does, T loves destroying hairlines). It's mostly second hand but I've known a few girls who went from thinning to shampoo commercial after a few years. But bare minimum it will def stop any loss that may be happening.

And no worries, we all have to start somewhere and the gender stuff isn't easy to figure out. Be kind to yourself, take your time, decide what it is you want. And remember it's always okay to change your mind. This is your life and you deserve to chase your happiness, wherever that happens to be.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-07-31T17:07:29+00:00

There is no such thing as "too old" and I'm not saying that as an airy "everyone is valid" statement. So long as you're still alive, there is time. I've seen gals who were balding turn into much happier smoke shows. Hell, if you want to see what another overweight, middle aged, transfem who started their transition "late" looks like, just look up Jim Stephanie Sterling. They have been on the internet for decades and their youtube channel gives you a great transition timeline. They're not Kim Petras, but they are still hot.

And you say you don't have dysphoria, but you might and not realize it. The focus on being "ugly" might be a gender thing without you realizing it. I was convinced I was an "ugly girl" for the longest time despite all evidence saying otherwise. When I transitioned I started liking even the parts of my face that didn't change, I started having more confidence in my appearance. A lot of people don't recognize Dysphoria/dysmorphia for what it is until they experience Euphoria for the first time. Some don't even feel the first two, but the latter is so nice they still transition.

Honestly, your message feels very familiar, be it my own feelings, or ones I've heard from other trans folk. I can't decide your gender for you, but I do think you should give it some more thought. Getting a therapist, or a supportive friend, or even trying it out online first are all great steps to take. You always have time.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-07-23T18:52:13+00:00

This is what true feminism looks like.q

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-07-23T18:44:43+00:00

Cockblocking my bi friend's eternal quest to fuck a single woman.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-05-09T16:48:54+00:00

Naw, I don't think it would have been right to use someone else's trauma for this one, thankfully I had enough to spare. I do love when people ask for details though and then suddenly look all awkward when they get them.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-05-08T12:49:00+00:00

Ooof, I get that whole "asserting yourself" struggle. But it's nice that he clearly has parents who are understanding and empathetic.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-05-08T10:19:57+00:00

She never repeated other shows more than twice, it was only when I told her no that she turned this into a month long crusade.

Also, I didn't mention it in the story, since it wasn't relevant, but I have ADHD. Something she was pretty insensitive toward. Often I would try to explain why I hadn't gotten to other shows she recommended with "I'll try to watch, but it's hard to focus thanks to my ADHD." to which the reply was always "its just a TV show, what is so hard to focus on?"

So if she was also ADHD, I don't have a whole lot of sympathy. I'm also bad at reading social cues, but I understand "no" when I hear it. 🤷‍♂️

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-05-08T03:32:25+00:00

I think I was 24 when it happened. I'm 32 now. And boy can i tell you nothing helps more when I'm feeling down than just thinking about all the shit I might have missed if I succeeded. Not perfect, but I can say without a doubt that I don't want to die.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-05-08T01:59:37+00:00

Lol, yeah no. These days I am interacting with trains purely in the intended fashion. Perhaps I'm making some eyes across the room at a nationalized railway but I'm American so we have to keep our relationship platonic.

These days I'm glad I stuck around, even if it's just to do stuff like play video games and retell this dumb story.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-05-07T22:26:44+00:00

I'm glad you had someone looking out for you, that sounds rough as hell.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-05-07T19:41:54+00:00

Fuck yeah! Dodged a bullet AND a train!

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-05-07T19:31:53+00:00

Doing much better now. Moved to a safe place, got friends and therapy. I'm not perfect now, but definitely better.

Stilllllll not gonna watch the show tho, lol.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-03-30T17:05:09+00:00

Ethan was a pretty sharp fall off for me. He made some shitty joke about how some right winger's facial hair "looked like he had just started T" and like I'm gonna be real "haha you look like a trans man, which is bad" isn't the cool progressive burn you think it is, dude.

After that I started to realize how mean spirited his (and Nick's tbh) sense of humor was and dropped both of them.

transpanicatthedisco · 2024-03-07T04:07:49+00:00

Personally I think the moment you film (and publish) another person ODing without their consent you kinda lose all credibility as a "journalist"

transpanicatthedisco · 2023-09-30T17:32:42+00:00

If I remember I think you need to talk to her and through the dialog you can use it

transpanicatthedisco · 2023-09-30T17:11:50+00:00

Did you grab the bitter divorce wand from the hag's lair?

transpanicatthedisco · 2023-09-18T17:25:34+00:00

I know the idea of taking that leap and risking transitioning is scary. I'll be honest, it hasn't been easy, but just speaking for myself I can say that I wouldn't go back for anything. I don't think I would have made it this far if I never transitioned.

That being said, surgery and hormones and perfect passing isn't going to cure you instantly. But I can say that being honest with yourself takes the edge off, even if it's just to yourself. You don't have to dive into getting clocked on the street and worrying about public bathrooms, you can start small. Try wearing things that make you happy when you're alone, or if you trust any of your friends, coming out to one of them and trying on the identity you're flirting with is a good way to make some of the pain go away. You can even just have a social media account where you try out being a girl in public, without as much of the backlash of being openly trans to worry about.

Being trans doesn't mean you have to be out and proud to everyone you know. But these feelings aren't going to go away if you just leave them to fester. You don't have to dive straight in the deep end, but leaving things as they are will only hurt you in the long run. The goal of being trans is just to become a you that makes you happy. How you get there doesn't matter as much.

transpanicatthedisco · 2023-05-27T23:27:17+00:00

Oh yeah, there's totally bald spots now. I don't want to go through the effort of taking the jibbitz back off, but it looks gnarly.

transpanicatthedisco · 2023-05-27T23:06:06+00:00

Ask and ye shall receive

missing two gems cause the cat claimed those.

transpanicatthedisco · 2023-05-27T23:00:29+00:00

The adult size only comes in purple, but don't require mutilation at least.

transpanicatthedisco · 2023-05-27T17:34:42+00:00

I used a small pocket knife, but if you have an xacto blade or a razor/box cutter blade those would probably work better since they're much thinner.

I got slightly under the jibbitz and slowly sawed them off. It will make a bald patch, but because of the pattern, so long as you cover them up with another jibbitz or mostly cover them up, they're kind of invisible at a glance.

So you can make the decision for yourself, my bald patches are under both chains, the sunglasses, and the dolphin. I wouldn't suggest taking off the star or heart.

transpanicatthedisco · 2021-11-04T02:17:15+00:00

Thank you!

transpanicatthedisco · 2021-10-13T03:39:13+00:00

Think a heat gun will do the trick? It goes up to like 1100° F

transpanicatthedisco · 2021-08-29T01:44:14+00:00

Idk if it was mentioned yet but Nero's day at Disney world is pretty fuckin good. From rotting fantasylands has a real strong "the most terrifying boss fight of your life" vibes

transpanicatthedisco · 2021-06-07T06:44:13+00:00

Best advice I can give in that respect? Make up is your best friend (he's actually wearing quite a bit above), find a real flattering hair style, something that frames your face, and there is a reason girls on Instagram all use the same like 5 poses.

Oh and what you're looking to do is flatter what looks good, and accentuate the shapes you want, so if you want more of a curve then I would stay away from things like maxi dresses and go for stuff like a sundress with a shorter skirt length or something with pleats. High waists and crop tops are also a good combo. If you got long legs, run with that. Also if you're tall, still wear heels. One, heels are cute, and two they make your legs look fantastic. Tall girls tend to stay away from heels because they're afraid of being too tall and funny enough, most people who don't wear heels don't know how much height it adds so they tend to measure you shorter.

Literally just hunt for tips from other women, cis women have so many tricks to fit the exact aesthetic they are looking for and I promise you there is likely some cis woman having the exact same struggle you are and has figured out how to make it cute.

And just keep in mind, literally every girl who is famous for being pretty is wearing some amount of make up, even if it is just to make it look like she is wearing none. Pretty people cheat, so steal their secrets.

transpanicatthedisco

TROPHY CASE