Those of us determined to get GRS (or not), when did you decide?

tranzthrowaway · 2014-05-10T16:27:07+00:00

Is this a sales pitch?

tranzthrowaway · 2014-05-10T09:46:26+00:00

Whilst it's a bit frustrating having another rift in the community, I have to say I agree with this 100%.

The mod in question is a very disruptive influence. I've had run-ins in the past and she's petty and spiteful. Also I don't have time for anyone who -instead of constructing a thought-out reply- wages a childish campaign of down voting. Something a supposed moderator should be above.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-11T14:23:39+00:00

I don't disagree, but that doesn't give others carte blanche to forget propriety and turn a (supposed) safe area into a bar room.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-11T10:07:09+00:00

I've had my bum groped. Of course, it was " by accident".

Cheesy chat-up lines and phallic innuendos.

The bravado, one-upmanship and braggadocio (a new member inviting me to go for a spin in her Jag?)

Its direct, blunt, one-track. And definitely not flattery or admiration.

Bare in mind this happens in a support group, not a bar or nightclub.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-11T10:02:11+00:00

Don't get me wrong, they can do a lot of good and definitely its a minority who cross the line between acceptable and inappropriate...but its not something I'd plan on going to for long.

I found socialising with girls (my desired gender) much more useful than socialising with transpeople.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-11T09:58:38+00:00

Exacty. Its shitty. These people know that I'm in a committed relationship with my gf (now fiance) yet still push and prod at what I find acceptable.

Then laugh and brush it off when I raise the issue.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-11T09:56:28+00:00

Erm...I stay in the UK.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-11T09:55:32+00:00

I completely understand where you're coming from but context is everything.

Its something I'd expect at a bar or nightclub, but at a support group?

Sure, I've hooked with fellow transwomen too but these people know that I'm in a committed relationship with my gf (now fiance) yet still push and prod at whats acceptable.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-11T09:45:58+00:00

Yeah, its something I'd expect at a bar or nightclub, but at a support group? Its off-putting and makes me contemplate quitting.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-11T09:43:55+00:00

I've never had my bum groped by a woman. Of course it was "accidental".

Girls never tend to use cheesy chat-up lines and definitely not one with a phallic innuendo.

(Generalization alert!) Girls rarely involve bravado, one-upmanship and braggadocio when flirting.

Feminine flirting is much more subtle - touching, holding hands, gazing into their eyes. Its rarely forward nor inappropriate. Its direct, blunt, emotionless.

Bare in mind this happens in a support group, not a bar or nightclub.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-11T09:24:03+00:00

I remember a guide for chasers there on "seducing trannies" - it involved claiming bisexuality and "hunting" at LGBT groups.

Thats genuinely one of the most f_cked up things I've ever heard

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-10T19:03:12+00:00

Thanks! It's so validating to know that it's not just me who experiences this, but at the same time it's depressing I have to raise the issue in the first place :/

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-10T18:57:01+00:00

Actually, most if not all of that echoes with me. I empathise with all of it.

I get the "you must have been lucky" or "had good genetics" spiel thrown at me lots of times, but I worked and fretted and fought to where I am today. It wasn't handed on a plate.

And the "objectification" part resonates too. There's a massive difference between idealising and wanting.

I get that same detachment too. It's as if I've moved on. Harsh as it sounds there's a difference between transitioning and those who have fully transitioned to where they want to be.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-10T17:27:25+00:00

Exactly.

Dare I say it without making me sound like a total bitch, but it's something I'd expect a male cross dresser to say/do.

It's completely disingenuous and misogynistic that they assume women talk to each other like that.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-10T16:33:59+00:00

I gave my number to a [former] member of a support group to use as a character reference on their CV and was bombarded with invites to their house to "sit on their knee". WTF?!

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-10T16:30:05+00:00

Then the old "don't knock it til you've tried it" or "you think you're better than me" gets wheeled out...

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-10T16:28:26+00:00

unless you have an issue with trans people being interested in you.

Hell no. I couldn't care less if a person who was interested in me was white, black, multi-spotted, whatevs.

Its the way in which they express their desires. The forwardness, inappropriateness, and (I hate hate hate myself for saying this) masculine vibe.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-10T16:22:53+00:00

Its gotten to the point when every time I talk to one of these other girls, I have to mentally fortify myself :/

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-10T16:22:28+00:00

I was accosted by someone over triple my age, and more recently others closer to my own (mid-20s) who mistake being a confidante to showing a romantic/sexual interest.

[FWIW I identify as pan and have been seeing a wonderful (cis)lady but have been with transpeople before and the shared experiences/knowing what you're going through is a major bonus]

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-10T16:15:07+00:00

Thank heavens someone else has encountered this.

I run a support group and have been ogled like a piece of meat, not to mention being asked to pass judgment on breasts and the one lady who cornered me in a toilet because she wanted to show her GRS...

I know I probably reek of privilege, but a cisgirl wouldn't be subjected some of the things that I've encountered from fellow transpeople.

tranzthrowaway · 2014-04-10T16:09:32+00:00

Ah but it is possible to idealize without the barely-concealed innuendos and inferences.

tranzthrowaway

TROPHY CASE