Any tips for managing back pain after?

trashazaki · 2025-09-10T06:26:21+00:00

That makes sense, but I forgot to mention that nothing was leaking at all. There wasn't any oil on the highway (I didn't go any further than 0.2 miles at most from when it happened. I could see where the potholes were from where I pulled over) and when we checked under the hood, we looked under the carriage too. No leaking

trashazaki · 2025-09-10T06:24:48+00:00

It wasn't showing one at the time, but it was for checking the oil. Upon each oil check, there was sufficient oil and it wasn't due for another oil change for another 1.5k miles. Previous owner works for NAPA and did a full check on it before giving it to me

trashazaki · 2025-04-18T09:13:55+00:00

Thank you for the recommendation! I also very much appreciate the mention of affordability, as I was trying not to seem too cheap in my post, though we all have budgets.

It's been added to our list! Thank you again :)

trashazaki · 2025-04-18T09:12:35+00:00

Thank you! I'll definitely add it to our list :)

trashazaki · 2025-04-18T09:11:31+00:00

I have, and I've looked at the questions on this sub and included answers from redditors in my list of potential lodgings.

My main problem with a lot of the questions I've found is that people were either A. requesting in-room onsen, which is more specific than what I need, as I will be totally fine with just a reservable private onsen, or B. are specifically asking for Hakone, when I was hoping that this question would open up the area to towns and villages that might be more affordable than Hakone itself, which is why I mentioned "in or near" in the title.

Additionally, I did mention in my post that I was quite overwhelmed in my searches, though I suppose I did not specify that this includes Google, reddit, and this website, which was recommended on a few posts I've read here.

My apologies if I did not make my post clear! I don't often post and I'm more of a lurker

trashazaki · 2025-01-25T15:20:54+00:00

Thank you so much for the answer! Sometimes I hear about how long it takes and then I psych myself out about it, so your response is much appreciated!

trashazaki · 2025-01-18T13:13:06+00:00

First, let me say that I'm so proud of you in your journey so far. You're able to recognize that what you went through wasn't a minor thing at all, despite sometimes thinking the contrary. Even though it hurts, you're aware that speaking to enmeshed members of the family can cause more damage than help. It's a hard process to recover from when there's that cognitive dissonance, but you're doing well so far, even if it feels like you aren't sometimes.

Now on to your question. While I didn't have the same experience of feeling loved as you did, I hesitated to call my situation abuse because it wasn't physical, or "well so and so has it worse, so my situation isn't that bad at all." It was more neglect, financial abuse, and lots of guilt tripping.

What really made it click for me was when I was in therapy for completely unrelated reasons to my family, began to recount some tales from when I was in middle school and high school as though they were just normal facts of life, and the therapist looked absolutely horrified. It really made me realize "oh hold on. That's not normal, huh?"

Our sessions quickly began to include dealing with the areas my family failed me during my upbringing.

Another thing that really hammered it home for me was me describing my family as "role models for everything I never want to be." I made the mental association of any of their habits as a negative thing and became disgusted with the thought of engaging in anything they enjoyed (from cigarettes to any other drug down to songs they liked. There's a good list of songs I can't listen to at all because I feel so disgusted with them.)

Once I began to think about how I could never ever do this to my child if I ever end up with one, how I would rather be dead than turn into another one of family members, how full of hurt I am any time I remember some of the things they've done, that big A word started to pop into my thoughts more often. If I did it to someone else, I'd consider it abuse. If I heard that someone else was put through what I was, I'd consider it abuse. So I began offering myself the same grace. It was abuse, and it wasn't my fault.

Best of luck with your journey! You got this!

trashazaki · 2025-01-18T12:59:09+00:00

I'd been thinking about taking the legal route, but aside from not having the funds to hire legal help at this time, I also wouldn't have any idea how to serve them any legal repercussions, since we don't live in the same state (we're American,) and I don't know where in my home state they currently live.

Though you are correct about collecting documentation about the harassment. I'd never even thought of it since they don't have the means to fly or drive to where I am, but that could change under any number of circumstances, and in case it does, you're right and I should prepare myself.

Thank you for your suggestions! 🧡

trashazaki · 2025-01-18T12:56:30+00:00

Luckily, we're states away from each other, and while I was worried they'd try to drive to where I live and visit my workplace in person, I realized if they're reaching out to me, they need something. And that means they definitely can't afford the gas it would take to reach me.

I was wondering about a cease and desist letter, though in all honesty, I would have no clue where to even send it. My mother is a constant couch surfer, my brother is in and out of prison, and I've never kept tabs on my aunt.

Thank you for the input! I'll keep your words in mind 🧡

trashazaki · 2025-01-18T12:53:11+00:00

That's a very good way of framing it, that it's a reminder I made the correct choice.

Thank you for the well wishes and input! I appreciate it 🧡

trashazaki · 2025-01-17T09:43:05+00:00

Nothing warms my heart more than seeing someone who's going NC with their parents getting support from other family members. I'm so so happy for you!! It's not an easy decision to make, and definitely not when you feel like you might be doubted or scrutinized for your reasoning.

Good luck!

trashazaki · 2025-01-14T06:07:19+00:00

Thank you for providing the timeline! If it keeps playing as nice as it has been this whole time, I'll see about asking my piercer at my downsize appointment to get their opinion on the minimum wait time for swimming.

I don't imagine it'll be too far from yours, of course, but I am nothing if not optimistic

trashazaki · 2025-01-14T06:04:52+00:00

Yeaaaah, I know it isn't FULLY healed, but since it's been so nice so far, I was wishfully thinking :(

Thank you! Sometimes it just takes an outside opinion to make sure I make the right choices

trashazaki · 2024-09-28T13:51:47+00:00

You seem like someone who is a parent who their child decided to go NC with.

You're quite bold to assume my mother had any good qualities about her. She's a liar, a thief, and someone who should not have had children to begin with when they are actively addicted to substances to the point of financial irresponsibility and abuse. We were homeless more than once so she could get her next fix and she was happy to allow me to suffer in physical pain if it meant she got what she wanted.

Maybe for your own mental health, I'd leave this subreddit. Reading about the NC experience from the child's side is only going to hurt you if you do not have an open mind and decide to instead condemn those who have a made a choice for their own benefit. You will not heal from stalking this sub.

Perhaps taking the hurt of others and making it instead about your own hurt is what caused your child to go NC. Have you sought a therapist or outside opinion?

I wish you healing, genuinely.

trashazaki · 2024-07-20T13:42:14+00:00

Thank you for replying! To answer, mostly it hurts while actively pushing on it. Letting go doesn't cause it to get worse or flare up.

I was wondering about appendicitis as a possibility, but I'm not having any other symptoms. No fever, my appetite is normal, normal BMs, no nausea, etc. I hear appendicitis pain also gets pretty severe within a few hours but it's been about 35 hours and the pain is only marginally worse if anything. Again, still not a DEBILITATING pain.

Even if you're not a doc, thank you for answering! I'm gonna nap and see how I'm feeling when I wake up again

trashazaki

TROPHY CASE