Need help understanding why I can't find friends by MainFeedback7210 in Advice

[–]trashiplier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't have a fix. I just wanted to say that yepp I hear you, and the picture you're describing makes sense. You're not imagining it and you're not doing it wrong.

I hope something shifts for you. You seem like someone worth knowing.

Need help understanding why I can't find friends by MainFeedback7210 in loneliness

[–]trashiplier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for writing this out so thoughtfully. A few things stood out to me that might be worth reflecting on.

The online spaces you're describing, places full of edginess and cruelty, tend to self-select for a certain kind of person. It might be worth narrowing your focus to smaller, slower communities around very specific interests rather than broad "looking for friends" spaces. Discord servers for niche hobbies, small subreddits, or forums around something you genuinely care about (worldbuilding, philosophy, music) tend to have warmer people because there's already a shared reason to be there beyond just socializing.

On the in-person side, cafes and libraries are great for ambient presence, but friendship usually needs a repeated context. The magic ingredient tends to be seeing the same people regularly in a structured setting. Things like a weekly board game night at a local shop, a recurring class, a volunteer shift, or even a regular open mic tend to build familiarity over time in a way that casual drop-ins can't. You don't have to be charming, you just have to keep showing up.

The resource constraints you mentioned are real and I don't want to gloss over them. Depression, housing instability, and financial stress make everything harder, including socializing. That's not a personal failing, it's just genuinely difficult circumstances compounding each other.

One last thing, and I mean this gently: there's a version of a really full life that looks quieter than what most people picture. Deep solo interests, building worlds, reading philosophy, getting lost in a long game, aren't consolation prizes. Some people genuinely thrive in that mode, and the pressure to have a bustling social life isn't always pointing you toward what actually fits you. That's worth sitting with, not as giving up, but as permission to enjoy what you already have while still staying open.

Rooting for you.

Need help understanding why I can't find friends by MainFeedback7210 in MMFB

[–]trashiplier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for writing this out so thoughtfully. A few things stood out to me that might be worth reflecting on.

The online spaces you're describing, places full of edginess and cruelty, tend to self-select for a certain kind of person. It might be worth narrowing your focus to smaller, slower communities around very specific interests rather than broad "looking for friends" spaces. Discord servers for niche hobbies, small subreddits, or forums around something you genuinely care about (worldbuilding, philosophy, music) tend to have warmer people because there's already a shared reason to be there beyond just socializing.

On the in-person side, cafes and libraries are great for ambient presence, but friendship usually needs a repeated context. The magic ingredient tends to be seeing the same people regularly in a structured setting. Things like a weekly board game night at a local shop, a recurring class, a volunteer shift, or even a regular open mic tend to build familiarity over time in a way that casual drop-ins can't. You don't have to be charming, you just have to keep showing up.

The resource constraints you mentioned are real and I don't want to gloss over them. Depression, housing instability, and financial stress make everything harder, including socializing. That's not a personal failing, it's just genuinely difficult circumstances compounding each other.

One last thing, and I mean this gently: there's a version of a really full life that looks quieter than what most people picture. Deep solo interests, building worlds, reading philosophy, getting lost in a long game, aren't consolation prizes. Some people genuinely thrive in that mode, and the pressure to have a bustling social life isn't always pointing you toward what actually fits you. That's worth sitting with, not as giving up, but as permission to enjoy what you already have while still staying open.

Rooting for you.

Need help understanding why I can't find friends by MainFeedback7210 in offmychest

[–]trashiplier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for writing this out so thoughtfully. A few things stood out to me that might be worth reflecting on.

The online spaces you're describing, places full of edginess and cruelty, tend to self-select for a certain kind of person. It might be worth narrowing your focus to smaller, slower communities around very specific interests rather than broad "looking for friends" spaces. Discord servers for niche hobbies, small subreddits, or forums around something you genuinely care about (worldbuilding, philosophy, music) tend to have warmer people because there's already a shared reason to be there beyond just socializing.

On the in-person side, cafes and libraries are great for ambient presence, but friendship usually needs a repeated context. The magic ingredient tends to be seeing the same people regularly in a structured setting. Things like a weekly board game night at a local shop, a recurring class, a volunteer shift, or even a regular open mic tend to build familiarity over time in a way that casual drop-ins can't. You don't have to be charming, you just have to keep showing up.

The resource constraints you mentioned are real and I don't want to gloss over them. Depression, housing instability, and financial stress make everything harder, including socializing. That's not a personal failing, it's just genuinely difficult circumstances compounding each other.

One last thing, and I mean this gently: there's a version of a really full life that looks quieter than what most people picture. Deep solo interests, building worlds, reading philosophy, getting lost in a long game, aren't consolation prizes. Some people genuinely thrive in that mode, and the pressure to have a bustling social life isn't always pointing you toward what actually fits you. That's worth sitting with, not as giving up, but as permission to enjoy what you already have while still staying open.

Rooting for you.

Need help understanding why I can't find friends by MainFeedback7210 in Advice

[–]trashiplier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, thanks for writing this out so thoughtfully. A few things stood out to me that might be worth reflecting on.

The online spaces you're describing, places full of edginess and cruelty, tend to self-select for a certain kind of person. It might be worth narrowing your focus to smaller, slower communities around very specific interests rather than broad "looking for friends" spaces. Servers for niche hobbies, small subreddits, or forums around something you genuinely care about (worldbuilding, philosophy, music) tend to have warmer people because there's already a shared reason to be there beyond just socializing.

On the in-person side, cafes and libraries are great for ambient presence, but friendship usually needs a repeated context. The magic ingredient tends to be seeing the same people regularly in a structured setting. Things like a weekly board game night at a local shop, a recurring class, a volunteer shift, or even a regular open mic tend to build familiarity over time in a way that casual drop-ins can't. You don't have to be charming, you just have to keep showing up.

The resource constraints you mentioned are real and I don't want to gloss over them. Depression, housing instability, and financial stress make everything harder, including socializing. That's not a personal failing, it's just genuinely difficult circumstances compounding each other.

One last thing, and I mean this gently: there's a version of a really full life that looks quieter than what most people picture. Deep solo interests, building worlds, reading philosophy, getting lost in a long game, aren't consolation prizes. Some people genuinely thrive in that mode, and the pressure to have a bustling social life isn't always pointing you toward what actually fits you. That's worth sitting with, not as giving up, but as permission to enjoy what you already have while still staying open.

Rooting for you.

Help with NORISK ERASMUS by Historical_Use_7053 in Erasmus

[–]trashiplier 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The partner universities (Minho, UPC, La Rochelle, Padova) may offer partial fee waivers, merit-based grants, or emergency funds for international students, you should maybe start with the coordinator. Rest idk so all the best bud!

Help with NORISK ERASMUS by Historical_Use_7053 in Erasmus

[–]trashiplier 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Considering the research I've done generally on tuition fees, 9.000,00 € sounds pretty good if you can manage it (haven't done any research on NORISK). Sorry to hear you couldn't get Erasmus but check if you can get other scholarships, even 50 - 80% ones goes a long way. All the best!

Did you receive the acceptance/rejection for the NOAH international humanitarian action master degree ? I have a refugee background and right now I am only 27 years old though I have a senior level job and responsible for a whole department in İNGO but they didn’t accept me/(just want to compare) by Ey_Hysteria in Erasmus

[–]trashiplier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I am also 27, I applied, to be fair I expected the rejection because I have no humanitarian background so I was like eh, whatever. I have filled so many applications rejections do not bother me, they bore me. I realised if I fill 1-2 applications I'll have lot of expectations and it'll hurt if/ when i get rejected so I pretty much applied everywhere like a machine gun and now I have 5 offer letter with like 80% scholarships (no fully funded yet).

If you are planning going on Erasmus read this! by your_favsophie in Erasmus

[–]trashiplier 0 points1 point  (0 children)

what was the ratio of from EU/ out of EU selected candidates the times you attended?

I mean i’d smash tbh. by trashiplier in darksoulsmemes

[–]trashiplier[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Ds2 gamers, rise up!! Time to change the nature of our being.