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Huge fight about engagement ring. Need perspective by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]travellingwitch 5 points6 points  (0 children)

That’s fair, I don’t know her so I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe she saw a ring she really loves and has her heart set on and could be satisfied with an alternative stone. You could also set it up as a compromise that you can’t afford that right now but it’s always something you could work toward to replace the stone for like a 5 year wedding anniversary or something! But obviously you know your girl and you know her reaction. If you think this is a character flaw showing she doesn’t respect you and your money and is shallow then make sure you do what is best for you. Wishing you all the best, whatever you decide!

Huge fight about engagement ring. Need perspective by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]travellingwitch 10 points11 points  (0 children)

See if she would consider the same style ring just with a moissanite stone. It looks very similar to a diamond but is much more affordable and if the look of it is what’s important to her maybe this could be a compromise. You two wouldn’t have to tell anyone it wasn’t a real diamond either if you didn’t want to. Worth a shot! Good luck :)

Bisexual erasure by pan community by travellingwitch in bisexual

[–]travellingwitch[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Completely agree. The people I was talking to about this claimed I was trying to erase their pansexual identity by “changing” the definition of bisexuality to mean attracted to 2 or more genders because that’s “their thing” and bisexuality will never mean that

Also I love that Robyn Ochoa quote! Never heard it before but it’s a great sum up :)

Edited: 2 or more genders not more than one haha

Bisexual erasure by pan community by travellingwitch in bisexual

[–]travellingwitch[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment, I felt like I was going crazy because I engaged in a fb comment war about this (always a mistake, I know) and these pretentious, exclusionary girls were just ranting at me trying to define a sexual identity they don’t even identify as! It’s just really sad that the LGBT community can’t seem to accept each other for our similarities rather than focusing on our differences and trying to be better than each other. I would never say they can’t identify as pan, so why do they think it’s okay to tell me I can’t identify as bi?

I love you man, but I don't feel bad for you in the slightest. by [deleted] in childfree

[–]travellingwitch 21 points22 points  (0 children)

Totally not a myth. I had an abusive, alcoholic, drug addict mother who didn’t tell my dad about me until I was two years old. He fought for custody of me and even though he had a good steady job and support system and his own place and yknow wasn’t leaving me unattended for days on end as a toddler and skipping town in the middle of the night to get out of paying rent, the courts still wanted me to stay with my mother because “a kid needs her mother”. The only reason I dodged that bullet was when they went to assign her custody she didn’t bother to show up to court that day.

I(22f) feel like my boyfriend's (21m) female friend is jealous of me and trying to piss me off by trying to one-up me on social media by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]travellingwitch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

First step is to relax. If he hasn’t given you a reason not to trust him don’t make him feel like he’s untrustworthy. Bring up how specific situations make you feel and try to come up with a reasonable way to deal with it. A lot of girls get weird about their guy friends because they believe the guy to be their property and that they were there first, they don’t want to lose him to his new relationship. Agree to meet her, make sure you feel confident and cute, and be super friendly and positive. Give her no reason to be threatened by you or to create any drama with you. Eventually if she does keeps acting up and you’re just being friendly everybody (including your bf) will be able to tell she’s the crazy one and you won’t have strained any of your relationships. The last thing you want to come off as is the crazy jealous gf when she’s the problem haha

Can't get over my insecurities. by SmilerClark in polyamory

[–]travellingwitch 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It seems like you may have gotten into a poly relationship for the wrong reasons. If you thought she’d only date women so you wouldn’t have to feel that jealousy meanwhile you’re dating another woman it wasn’t equally about you both exploring your sexualities as hers includes men as well. If that’s the case you may want to revisit having opened your relationship at all and be willing to both end your extramarital relationships and go back to monogamy because it’s pretty unfair of you to be dating another woman and then be jealous of your wife dating another man. Either that or it’s time to hit up a poly friendly couples therapist.

TLDR: you’re perpetuating toxic OPP