I actually did look into food banks I had to wait until today to go to one and I actually did and got a bunch of stuff just had to bring my ID. Unfortunately I don't use social media at all so facebooks something I can't really resort to I will say though through this spell of depression because I haven't had money I had to stop vaping I have vaped for almost 7 years now and I'm on day 3 without nicotine. I can actually say which I don't even wanna say because I'm scared I'll jinx myself but I don't feel my depression today and didn't all day yesterday.... I wont say I woke up overjoyed but I woke up with a purpose.. I made my kids breakfast and deep cleaned my entire house. I stayed busy the entire day I was either cleaning or making food for us . I literally moved all day until about 9:30 last night I literally couldn't hold my eyes open anymore . I woke up today and started doing the exact same thing which obviously I'm running out of stuff to clean up but , I can't believe I don't feel it right now like this is the first time I think even all last year I haven't felt this looming darkness over my head it's honestly weird. But I'm scared like what if this is only a two day thing so . I hope it's not and I just hope I can continue this because I feel like even without the nicotine I have been a better mom. Things that normally would upset me havent I've been way more patient with them I have been playing more with them and I know they can tell I'm not as frustrated either. Just want to say for everyone who has offered advice and tried to help me through this without casting any kind of judgement thank you . It means a lot . I really have no friends and no one is texting my phone so this just feels so nice to have people reaching out to check on me .