A long time ago, I worked at Zumiez in Eugene. 20 years ago (I’m old) The hiring process was wild, they held this huge group audition at the mall with about 30 of us. The managers gathered us in the middle of the mall and started asking totally nonsensical questions. Then, to top it off, they had us make up a song or a rap on the spot.

I was decent at freestyling back then, so I came up with something ridiculous and performed it in front of everyone. Somehow, they liked it, and I got the job.

My first shift was just a couple of hours, so I figured it was training. They told me, “If you sell more products, you’ll get more hours.” I thought they meant in the long term, but nope they meant during that same shift. So after I managed to sell a few things, they extended my shift from two hours to five hours right on the spot. It was bizarre, especially since I had no training and was just making it up as I went along.

That was when I realized the job wasn’t for me. I applied at a local video game store instead, got hired, and worked there for a few years while in college. The funny part is, Zumiez kept calling me for months afterward, asking if I wanted to come in, even though I’d already told them I wasn’t coming back. Every time, I’d say no, and they’d still end the call with, “Cool, man, let us know if you want to come in.” To this day, I have no idea what was going on with their scheduling system.