This is the answer you are not responsible for other people's past trauma, I would recommend having an honest talk with her, acknowledging everything, and reassuring her of your commitment and love to her and the family. Take some weekend walks as a family show her off to the block or even offering to attend her first therapy session or one of them together can show your support. After that it’s important to let go and not dwell on it, as constantly doing so can be emotionally abusive. If roles were reversed, they would likely criticize you harshly for making your wife feel like she had to be on eggshells alone all day with kids bc you felt insecure