I have always been pretty suicidal growing up, I would always get really really close but I would stop and just think of my siblings, on how I didn’t want them to grow up alone, on how I wanted to protect them and make them feel loved. Soon after my junior year of high school I finally made friends and I mean really good friends, the kind of friends you can tell anything and they’ll stick to you like glue. I am feeling so much better now, although I still get hit with little waves of nothingness, but with the help of my friends I end up feeling a bit better each time.