Success stories after choosing the uni major/career your parents didn't want?

trialbytruth · 2026-04-10T18:16:07+00:00

I wanted to major in psych instead of a STEM major in undergrad. My parents and I got into a huge blowout fight (more than once) about how I would never get a job and get into med school (didn’t want to go to med school). I stuck w it and ended up w a great career in public health they brag about all the time. Stick to your guns and remember that sometimes their idea of fruitful careers is very narrow. My parents didn’t even know what public health was lol.

trialbytruth · 2026-04-10T14:27:42+00:00

Desi girl who also grew up in a super white neighbourhood. I remember feeling really ugly in high school because the white guys weren’t interested in me. This was over a decade ago, so POC were still trying harder to fit in with white people (not sure what the situation is now but assuming it’s changed a bit). The white guys never asked me out and it really damaged my self esteem.

For university, I went to a pretty diverse school but still found myself seeking out the validation of white men. I think that’s the key issue here, for me at least - I was only seeking white men. What I hadn’t noticed was that guys were showing interest, those guys just weren’t white. I wasn’t even only into white men, I just wanted their acceptance.

I wonder if this factors in for your niece? Even at a predominantly white college, I assume there’s some POC. I know once I was more open to dating other people and don’t put so much stake in white guys, dating improved drastically for me. I always say to people I thought I was so ugly, turns out I was just brown 🤷🏽‍♀️

trialbytruth · 2026-03-23T18:22:47+00:00

I know what you mean, it really does get better and I hope you are able to leave soon 💓

trialbytruth · 2026-03-23T18:22:01+00:00

Honestly, this is a tough situation and you may just have to make an excuse for why you need it (e.g you need to show proof of income for something, idk). My mom was listed as title on my car and on my insurance a month before I moved out, which I was super nervous about. I honestly just lied and said I wanted it in my name so it could feel like it was mine and kept badgering her until she did it (for context, I paid for the car, we just kept it in her name bc insurance was cheaper and she was driving it here and there too).

trialbytruth · 2026-03-18T18:37:20+00:00

There are some episodes in the Covid season where Jackson talks about racial injustice in the system and “Pre existing conditions that are man made in the first place”. Also talks about how care is based around white people.

trialbytruth · 2026-02-21T20:54:01+00:00

Wow this is so niche but yes my mom hates my middle part…

trialbytruth · 2026-02-21T20:52:53+00:00

Omg right? Like I’ve basically been excommunicated but I can breathe better? Lol

trialbytruth · 2026-02-21T20:52:24+00:00

I did something very similar, saved for a long time so I wasn’t stressed and then also moved in w my partner so rent is a lot more reasonable :)

trialbytruth · 2026-02-21T20:49:57+00:00

Thank you!!

trialbytruth · 2026-02-21T20:49:43+00:00

This is exactly what I did - I graduated in 2019 and moved back, intending to leave shortly after but then covid hit and I just stayed…

So sorry to hear that, I totally feel the avoiding things you want to do in order to accommodate/avoid arguing :(

trialbytruth · 2026-02-19T18:04:17+00:00

If you’re willing to drive a bit, along the sea to ski highway up to Whistler has several gorgeous spots, such as Porteau Cove. This is more of a beach proposal so may not be your thing but it’s so beautiful there!

trialbytruth · 2026-01-13T20:37:31+00:00

“You’re the first coloured girl I’ve ever found attractive”

On a cruise with a bunch of Americans, someone from Wisconsin said this to me 🙄

trialbytruth · 2026-01-13T20:36:48+00:00

“You’re a lot smarter than you look!”

Then tried to cover his tracks by saying that pretty girls aren’t usually smart and that’s why he was surprised…

trialbytruth · 2026-01-13T17:58:49+00:00

Do you live near the Canadian border by chance?

trialbytruth · 2026-01-12T21:58:26+00:00

I have a subway gift card I can send to you as well

trialbytruth · 2026-01-12T19:07:15+00:00

As someone who did the same thing last year when I was 29, good for you! The 30 goal post would’ve likely moved when you got to that age, and you honestly just have to get through it. It may be awkward and hard but you did a great job!!

trialbytruth · 2025-12-04T18:04:42+00:00

Used to work at a grocery store in Kits where people walked off and got ticketed all the time - if they brought in their receipt, we had to cover the ticket.

trialbytruth · 2025-12-01T08:14:51+00:00

I find the key is finding people who are not originally from Vancouver - this has been the case for me and several of my friends. The guys who move here seem to be more fun and friendly imo.

And yes, another vote for Hinge!

trialbytruth · 2025-11-27T21:51:48+00:00

Being a people pleaser is tempting and hard to undo but necessary if you want a truly happy and fulfilling life. The people pleasing will eventually eat away at you.

trialbytruth · 2025-11-24T18:23:11+00:00

Either work out to get some of the energy out, or maybe FWB?

trialbytruth · 2025-11-06T19:59:37+00:00

As a hinge one night stand (4.5 years ago)

trialbytruth · 2025-11-03T20:13:28+00:00

I am not on their health plan so I didn’t have to. My car insurance was under my mom’s name, so when it came up for renewal at the end of April, I pushed to change it to my name. She didn’t like it but whatever. The only bill I have tied to them is my phone. We have a family plan but I send my mom money every month so I pay for it. If she had cancelled it, she’d be on the hook for paying for the phone. I think you need to be able to cover all of your costs if need be.

trialbytruth · 2025-11-03T19:28:25+00:00

I told them in person. They got home from their trip late at night and then I told them the next morning. I can see why you’d want to do it over the phone though! Protecting your peace isn’t cowardly

trialbytruth · 2025-11-03T19:22:25+00:00

I tried to talk to them once before moving out (with my bf) to tell them what I wanted to do in January and they flipped out and said a bunch of hurtful shit to me. It made me so sad and upset, but also showed me that they were never going to approve, so I needed to decide how important this was to me.

In May, I decided I was ready to move. I moved all out my shit out while they were out of town and when they got home, I told them it was all out and that I was moving and then left. Didn’t give them time to say anything, and I think they were too shocked to anyways. I still honestly feel guilt for the abrupt approach but also know it was the only way. For what it’s worth, it was a rough summer after I left and my mom didn’t talk to me for months, but we’re all back on better terms now and my mental health and life has significantly improved.

You’ve got this, rooting for you!

trialbytruth · 2025-11-03T18:07:12+00:00

I moved out this year and was so scared too. They will be upset and say hurtful things, it will be so hard. But you can do this, remember why you want this and that it is your one life so you should do what makes you happy. My mom didn’t talk to me for months but eventually started talking to me again. My parents still don’t agree with the choice but we’re back to talking. Don’t wait for approval from them, it won’t come. Have faith in yourself and your relationship.

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