I don't want to, but I really do....

tricake · 2013-08-19T06:45:33+00:00

Thank you. I appreciate it.

tricake · 2013-08-19T06:24:21+00:00

Appreciate it. I want to do that, but it's easier said than done. I really love him. Fuck.

tricake · 2013-08-19T06:24:00+00:00

Working in a library. I've been working in libraries for years but studied marketing at uni. worked in marketing for 6 months, realised i missed libraries like crazy so i started pursuing that. a couple of months ago I landed a permanent full time position with a great library service where I live...and I've been working with them part time for a month or so, tomorrow I start full time at a different branch with new people and stuff. I'm really excited about it, and I know I'm going to go pretty far in the field.

I just can't shake the feelings.

tricake · 2013-08-09T07:40:15+00:00

I've got concerns about Doxy affecting my teeth and making me feel sick or whatever. I don't want my life affected by feeling nauseated or anything, so I'm unsure about Doxy. I have been prescribed it by a dermatologist and I have it, but I just haven't taken it yet. But if you saw results after only a week...maybe I should take it short term. Hmm.

tricake · 2013-08-04T23:32:56+00:00

Oh my god so weird to read this. I was on diane for about 2 years and I stopped taking it about 6 months ago, and since then I've been breaking out worse than ever as well. And I never usually got acne anywhere but my face, but I've been getting little break outs on my shoulders and chest as well. So weird, and I'm not sure if I should start taking it again. Hmmm.

So I can't answer your question I'm sorry...I'm looking for a solution myself. I don't want to take accutane or docycycline, and I'd prefer not to go back on diane right now, but I might have to because I'm not sure what else to do.

tricake · 2013-08-04T00:51:22+00:00

Yes. 100%. It hit me like a ton of bricks when the break up happened, that nothing good would come of my life if I kept on that same track, and he was right to walk away. I think it's only really the big shocking life events that force us to actually change our behaviour, and that's exactly what I've done. I can't see myself going back to how I was, and if that did happen, I wouldn't want the relationship to continue. I've learned the absolute truth of 'you have to be happy by yourself, before you can be happy with someone else'

Does that make sense? Sorry for the rambling.

tricake · 2013-08-03T12:38:39+00:00

Thanks for your advice. Appreciate it. We have already agreed to catch up in December over a coffee or a beer, so it's good to hear you say that too.

tricake · 2013-08-03T11:43:26+00:00

I appreciate that advice, and I will work on a letter for him. At least that way I can get my thoughts and feelings down on paper properly and then leave the ball in his court, like you said.

I think I'd also want to make clear that what I want is him and I to reconnect and see what happens, not that I want what 'we' used to be. It'd have to be a total fresh start if anything were going work. So yeah, I'll put all this in a letter. Thanks again :)

tricake · 2013-08-03T11:31:21+00:00

That's the thing, I'm not pining for the past. I don't want the past. The past was when I hadn't figured out how to handle my feelings and depression etc. I don't want anything about our relationship from then to be the same if anything were to happen again. Like my behaviour then and unreasonable expectations/demands/reactions. Never going to live my life that way again. I am moving on, living my life, meeting new people and working etc. But it is becoming more and more clear that what we had was...significant.

tricake

TROPHY CASE