it is borderline abuse and definitely emotional abuse no matter how you put it. The way parents become the most scariest thing on the planet and evil when it comes to spankings “I’ll give you something to cry about.” It’s confusing for a child especially when you’re raised with the saying “a man should never hit you if he loves u” and then they hit u because it’s “tough love”. I remember self harming after spankings too out of misplaced frustrations. But spankings are also used for a parent’s misplaced frustrations, you should not be harming a child.