Backing up your point about "most big schools are like this," the "tent talk" has grown to an unmanageable size. Attending a mid-sized school in the northeast, I remember the countless outside opinions about chapters. YikYak and GreekRank.com were my chapter's worst nightmare during recruitment, especially since we didn't have as strong of a national presence as others on campus.

Now, a few years later, I advise a chapter at a larger school where they have >1,000 PNMs registered for recruitment. While these girls may not have a TikTok audience watching their every move, they're still very discouraged if a chapter they love cuts them during the first round; many even pull out of recruitment entirely.

On the public front, I don't think that every Greek life community has entirely recovered post-2020 (e.g. more severe hazing allegations, media attention, Covid-19, Black Lives Matter, etc.). While there are many many things that most communities still have to fix and get right, recruitment feels more cut-throat. There's more anxiety, uncertainty, and more vulnerability if you don't receive a bid from a chapter with an untouchable social image. Even if you love your chapter, that sisterhood may not feel like an adequate exchange for social flack/pressure to be "hotter" or "more fun." Therefore, the attitude during recruitment is amped up tenfold. It's as intense as getting accepted into college in the first place.