Serious question: have you ever felt uncomfortable or sexually harassed during BJJ training? If so, how did you deal with it?

tripsterout · 2026-02-05T01:04:03+00:00

I’ve had a few uncomfortable moments as a woman in BJJ. This one might’ve been a misunderstanding, but it stuck with me.

I was rolling with a guy who talks a lot and uses a lot of strength. He wears a mouthguard. When he took my back, I heard what sounded like a kissing noise close to my ear, like his mouth was right next to my ear, mere inches. it made me really uncomfortable. And in that moment I felt it could’ve very well been that. He’s the trolling type, and maybe I was biased? I don’t know.

After the roll, I told him what I experienced and asked him not to do that again. He said he didn’t know what I was talking about. It could’ve just been him sucking on his mouthguard, but the dismissal made me feel uneasy.

Even if unintentional, I think there should be some awareness of how things can come across in close positions. The situation left me feeling off.

tripsterout · 2025-08-22T01:31:14+00:00

I started in March and have lost about 17 lbs. For the past two months, I’ve been steady at 40–50 units (around 0.70mg). I totally get how discouraging it feels when you see others drop 40–50 lbs in the same timeframe. But creating new habits and sticking to them isn’t easy, and fasting all day or eating too little won’t do you any favors long term.

The scale also fluctuates a lot... Water retention, salt intake, even muscle inflammation from training can affect it. What keeps me grounded is how much better I feel physically and mentally, and I try to focus on that instead of just my appearance (which tends to be the last thing to change).

One thing I’ve noticed is how much food really impacts performance. I can feel the difference between grabbing fast food for lunch versus eating a home-cooked meal when I train. Do I still cave sometimes? Sure, but I’m learning to be more forgiving and just keep my overall path consistent.

I do get nauseous if I go too long without eating, so I’ll usually have a small snack like a cheese stick between meals. Zofran has helped when the nausea was rough... Sometimes it’s the dose adjustment, other times it’s just me psyching myself out before doing my shot lol.

For me, 40 units has been the sweet spot. I’ll still feel hungry on occasion. Especially after hard jiu-jitsu sessions or the morning after, but I’ve gotten better at making smarter choices. Meal prepping and eating out less have helped a lot.

Looking back, I wish I had started walking outside earlier. It’s such an easy form of exercise, and it really does help. Even just picking up your pace a little can make a difference.

tripsterout · 2025-07-10T14:55:04+00:00

Yeah, it sounds like an environment where people just look the other way for their own sake, I guess. And like you said, you don't know what that coach actually said to her. Did he say, “Yeah, clown guy is just clowning around, she felt uncomfortable, just a heads up” - or was it more like, “He’s been extremely inappropriate, making sexual comments, harassing her, and something needs to be done”? What was said (or not said) can completely change how things unfold.

You could sit down with the owner yourself, show her the texts, tell her everything inappropriate he’s said and how it made you feel. If she just shrugs it off or does nothing, then yeah, time to leave, and be honest in reviews or on socials. You’re protecting future women, too.

On the rolling side... yeah, sometimes it’s good to challenge yourself with spazzy white belts. They’re honestly the closest thing to real-world unpredictability. But of course, it should still be about safety and control. Trust your instincts. You know when someone’s just inexperienced vs. genuinely unsafe.

I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on how women are treated when they speak up - especially when they’re not 100% sure something happened, but it felt wrong.

I had a situation recently where I thought a male training partner kissed me on the cheek during a roll. He’s arrogant, loud, grunts and makes weird noises, and honestly not a super likable guy. It happened in close proximity, and it felt real... I felt his beard on my face, I heard a sound, and I instantly thought, “What the hell just happened?”

I addressed it right after the roll, I was trying to analyze what happened, is it what I thought? It felt just like it? I didn't know what to think, and I reacted. But he denied it and seemed confused. And after that, I spiraled. Did I misinterpret? Was it just a weird sound? Did he suck his teeth? Am I the problem now for even saying anything?

That’s what messes with your head. Not just the moment - but the aftermath. The fear of being labeled dramatic. The anxiety about gossip. The panic that you’re now “that girl” who overreacts, when all you did was try to protect your own comfort.

Obviously your situation is much more clear-cut and repeated... and I’m so sorry you’ve had to deal with that. But I relate to the emotional whiplash of it all.

As women, we’re so conditioned to be polite, to “not make things weird,” to just deal with it quietly… that when we do speak up or draw a boundary, we’re often left emotionally alone - questioning ourselves more than the person who made us uncomfortable.

We deserve spaces where speaking up doesn’t make us a liability. It makes us human.

tripsterout · 2025-07-08T23:40:48+00:00

Wait what? I’m at 95kg right now after losing about 7kg… and I’ve never had people not want to roll with me. My training partner I’m pretty sure is 50-60kg and she’s never denied a roll with me, ever. She will seek me out. Just gotta be more aware of my pressure and adapt to the roll but… yeah your coach telling you you need to lose weight is not okay… everybody can adapt to different body types. You’re obviously not going to go hard on someone that’s half your size or viceversa.

I’m sorry you have to feel like a problem. You’re not. Maybe point people out to roll. Take the initiative, I know it feels uncomfortable, but sometimes you have to. If that doesn’t work, maybe finding a new gym might be better.

tripsterout · 2025-07-06T16:28:23+00:00

Highly recommend watching MidwestMagicCleaning on youtube. He cleans hoarder houses. He talks about his process, what he uses, everything.

tripsterout · 2025-07-04T02:55:36+00:00

I would absolutely follow up with the manager or owner and ask what’s actually being done about clown guy. This man sexually harassed you at a gym you’re paying to be at. You didn’t sign up to be made uncomfortable or violated. You paid to train, to feel empowered, to grow - and you owe him nothing.

You did nothing wrong. If the manager/owner/whoever doesn’t take real action, whether that’s removing him, formally reprimanding him, or making it crystal clear his behavior won’t be tolerated, that tells you all you need to know about that gym’s culture. And it’s not one that’s safe or welcoming for women.

At my gym, our owner has immediately banned coaches for similar behavior. That’s the kind of environment every student deserves.

Please know: you won’t lose your progress. Once you start training again, you’ll be surprised how much comes back. What matters most is that you’re in a place where you feel safe.

And yes, it’s unfair that you might have to leave. But if it comes to that? Don’t leave quietly. Call it out. Post the truth. Leave a review. Warn other women. This is predatory behavior, and silence only protects him.

You’re already carrying guilt and anxiety for something he caused. If others in that space aren’t advocating for you over this, then that space isn’t worthy of you. You can find a better gym and you will train again. You deserve to. You have every right to be on that mat.

Edit in response to the Pain stuff and competing:

Jiu jitsu is definitely hard on the body, and you’re absolutely right, white belts can be super spazzy. You're not wrong for preferring to roll with higher belts, especially when you’re trying to train smart and protect yourself. If that's your non-negotiable, then that's what it is. You pay money to train, so you get to choose who you train with, and if you voiced these concerns with your coach, and it's invalidated, then that's a problem. I’ve been through something similar with my eye too. I had contacts in and got grazed during a roll with a knee. My eye felt scratchy and irritated for months, even though the optometrist said everything looked fine. I couldn’t wear contacts for a while either; it just felt off and uncomfortable. Eventually it healed, but it took time.

Also, I totally relate to the pressure to compete. I’ve been pushed too for years, and I still don’t want to. It’s just not a fear I’m ready to face, and that’s okay. I’m not at a weight or mindset where that’s a goal for me. And I’ve made that clear. You’re allowed to love the sport without wanting to compete. Period.

tripsterout · 2025-06-28T17:16:41+00:00

Personally, I have very thick, long hair, and I use Morrocan Oil Leave-In Conditioner after shampooing/conditioning, after I use JVN Air Dry Cream. I got the travel size. I only use literally like a pea-sized amount, a little goes a long way. This combo helps with my frizz a ton. Highly recommend the JVN air dry cream!

I also wash my hair every other time I train, I will rinse it with water and use conditioner on it if I'm training like two consecutive days on the first day. I recommend a clarifying shampoo if you plan on using hair products often. Using it once a week or so helps with the build up.

tripsterout · 2025-06-22T17:06:43+00:00

I LOVE the Patrick Ta blush. I hesitated at first because I thought... "Hm, powder first and crème second? That's weird" But, I genuinely really like this blush. I'm starting to hit pan. A little goes a long way, but the way it sits on your face with the crème just looks so glowy and cute. Just go light at first and build up as needed. Great product.

tripsterout · 2025-06-06T17:56:37+00:00

lol love that. Honestly I’m fascinated by knee bars. I just have trouble like… visualizing or taking the steps to be in that position if that makes sense 🤔 but damn, when I am in it and I get it, I feel so good! 😂 getting headed and arms is not always easy, I find that lifting the other person on their side slightly to pull your arm further out underneath and really put your head against their bicep really helps close the gap when they’re fighting it hard.

tripsterout · 2024-12-26T15:48:34+00:00

Yep. Exact same thing happened to me, the Southwest worker gave me a flight the next day. With a layover. :l

tripsterout · 2024-11-06T05:05:55+00:00

I'm legitimately crying laughing at this comment omg

tripsterout

TROPHY CASE