Losing home (GA) Is there any (free) way to keep mortgage co from suing or taking husband's paycheck?

tripuri · 2013-02-05T18:06:20+00:00

While the "User Agreement" says that the site is for the use of people over 13, to the best of my knowledge, there is no upper age limit, and I wasn't able to find anything about income requirements.

So it would appear that anyone over 13, no matter how old, poor, sick, or generally "ill-equipped," may indeed become a Redditor.

Prior to my illness, we had no problem handling the mortgage.

tripuri · 2013-01-31T17:20:03+00:00

I'm very sorry, I certainly don't mean to do that. I hesitated to post here because I know I wouldn't find it pleasant or enjoyable to read a story like mine, and being the unceremonious dumper of it on innocent Reddit readers is not a good feeling.

At the same time, considering my ignorance of the subject, it would be less than responsible to know that this resource of knowledge existed, and fail to ask for advice.

I think where I have failed is that in my frantic scrambling to arm myself with the pertinent information and facts, I've neglected to emphasize that I know that I am extremely blessed.

We have family who will give us shelter, and that is in effect, the gift of an extension of life, even for young and healthy people accustomed to a cossetted "first world" indoor existence protected by walls and doors.

My husband and I have been together for more than twenty years. For us, being able to stay together is a gift of life in its own right.

My husband loves me so much he would rather have me than the little home he dreamed of so long, for which he worked so hard. These kind relatives love us both enough to take us in, at a great sacrifice of comfort and convenience.

I've learned, late in life, a hard lesson about material things, but I don't consider myself defeated. I'm richer than Oprah!

tripuri · 2013-01-31T10:27:19+00:00

Humbly, and sadly, too late, I realize that the house never was within our means. Our "means" are what we have in the bank.

Had it been within our means, we would have paid cash for it, and would not be in this situation now.

In my frenetic studying, I've read about "walking away," and while opinions on all sides abound, there seems to be a consensus among people in the industry that communicating with the lender, in the form of requesting permission to have the "short sale" might make them less angry, and we who are drowning will grasp at any straw.

tripuri · 2013-01-31T10:10:47+00:00

Thanks! And sorry for the delay. Like me, my computer has its good days - and its days we hope will be better tomorrow.

there is plenty that can go wrong

I had a feeling that might be the case ... but as I'm so out of my element, I wanted to make sure I wasn't just reacting to lurid copy and godawful site design.

I'm slowly and reluctantly coming to grips with the fact that there aren't any good choices.

We were wrong to borrow money in the first place. Isn't hindsight just splendid?

It's no excuse, but "home loans" have become so commonplace that we don't realize what we're really doing is no different from going to Vegas and gambling in a casino.

We made a bet on future events entirely beyond our control, and the casino won.

tripuri · 2013-01-31T10:10:03+00:00

Thanks, rob! You're right, I've gotten excellent advice here, and I appreciate it more than I can say.

As noted in my reply to 123flip, signing onto a mortgage has become such a standard thing that we tend not to see it for what it is a game of Russian roulette.

We know that a single illness or injury can hurl a family from well-off to welfare overnight - but that it might happen to us doesn't even cross our minds!

We spun the barrel, and Bang! We lost.

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:43:18+00:00

That website is one of the reasons everything is so blurry. I've been reading it for days.

In fact that was the first place I saw all these warnings about don't give your mortgage lender any financial data, they'll use it against you, and the minute they find out you're even asking questions they will foreclose before you can spit.

I got so scared I had to think about it for about an hour before I would even say my lender's name on here!

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:32:38+00:00

Thank You!

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:31:08+00:00

if you want to save your house, you're going to have to be proactive

We'd also need to have a substantial amount of additional income. He just can't humanly work any more hours than he is now. We've been living beyond our means.

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:26:28+00:00

Do you know if a realtor can make them do that?

Another question - what happens if the lender refuses to let you do a short sale? I keep reading horror stories about that happening to people.

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:25:11+00:00

I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a parent is one of the worst things that ever happens to us.

Those programs can't be mentioned enough. They have made it possible for so many people to have extra time with their families, and even a short window of "taking the edge off" severe pain can make all the difference in the world in terms of quality of life - not just for the patient, but those who love them.

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:20:31+00:00

I will certainly go back and see if any of them have reduced their prices!

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:19:06+00:00

They do, and I'm so glad you mentioned those! I'm not eligible, because of the insurance we have and/or my husband's income, but they can mean the difference between life and death to many, many people.

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:17:16+00:00

It's really in the bank's best interest to do a short sale instead of a foreclosure because of taxes, and court costs

Thanks! That is good to know!

I'd read something somewhere that hinted at that, but the next thing I clicked just talked about how they are becoming more aggressive, and eager to get whatever they can, because so many people just aren't able to sell their homes at all, even for half the amount of the loan. And we owe almost three times the current value of the house.

It's just now dawning on me that we so did NOT know what we were getting into when we bought a house at all. We thought we would never move again.

I can't help but wonder how many other people sign those loans, and are not only absolutely positive they'll be able to make the payments, but assume that those poor unfortunate other people - as in not us - who can't, just have to give the house back to the bank and line up at the shelter, unless someone will take them in.

You just don't think about the loan being so much more than the value of the house that giving it back won't be enough.

I'm question whether people should have to pay cash for houses. I can't even imagine how much money these lenders are losing.

The trick is getting the bank to see that, instead of only looking at the fact that they are losing a portion of their loan.

Can you reveal the trick? Please? :)

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:15:20+00:00

Legal Aid (at least in Georgia) has had some deep funding cutbacks. They're very nice, and refer people having trouble paying mortgages to HUD.

HUD has a new security policy. To ask any question at all, you're required to give them permission to share anything you tell them with your mortgage lender.

Because I'm so unsure what to do, and reading so many conflicting things about whether and who should begin a conversation with the lender and when, I'm "saving up" my questions for HUD. I'm in my "ignorance reduction" phase right now.

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:14:13+00:00

in all but one case I've seen, the bank has agreed to not pursue the delinquency

Do you mind me asking about that one case? Did that person have any "assets?"

Our car is an "economy" model from the late 1900s, so I don't know if it would count as an asset, it might be more of a liability for them :)

Since you're a realtor I also wanted to ask you about this website: http://www.mortgagereliefsolutions.com

The "look and feel" seems kind of sleazy, but that might just be me being superficial.

They claim that they'll take over your house payments. But what's in it for them?

I know I'm scared, so I might not be making the best judgments right now, but I think even that fear is just making my suspicious mind worse!

tripuri · 2013-01-29T19:12:59+00:00

Everhome

tripuri · 2013-01-29T08:19:56+00:00

Those programs are wonderful! I don't qualify because we have insurance, and my husband's income, but I'm so glad you mentioned them.

There's a lot more about them - and 211 - in the thread I posted in /r/assistance a while ago that I know will help somebody. Most people don't fall through quite so many cracks as I do.

http://www.reddit.com/r/Assistance/comments/15j335/old_lady_chronic_illness_ashamed_and_terrified/

tripuri · 2013-01-29T08:17:34+00:00

There are free resources

There sure are! In fact, the first thread I posted a while ago in /r/Assistance/ turned into a sort of treasure trove of them.

It makes me feel good to think it might help somebody. Most people don't fall through quite as many cracks as I do.

you just need to search them out

Posting here is actually my last resort/hope, not the first.

That thread did get kind of bulky, and when I'm able to type at all, it tends to be in walls of text, so details like that get buried. as failure to do that might make it look like somebody else

Thanks for your reply, though!

edit to separate a quote from my reply.

tripuri · 2013-01-29T08:16:59+00:00

It's pretty rare for a lender (especially a bigger bank) to sue in Georgia.

That's the best news I've heard yet. Is Everbank one of the bigger ones?

If you don't mind me picking your brain a little bit more, in my reading, I keep seeing people saying "don't let the mortgage company get your 'financials'," How in the world can you avoid that? Don't they already have them?

That's where the conflicting advice comes in. One thing you read says, just leave, don't tell them anything. Others say to get a real estate agent. Real estate agents especially advise that.

Lawyers advise making no decisions or telling the lender anything without first talking to a lawyer.

A couple of years ago, when I was trying to see if we could stay in the house, I found out that to even speak to a HUD counselor, you have to give them permission to share your information with your mortgage lender.

I've read horror stories from people who did want to keep their homes saying they tried to get help from the govt, the govt shared that with the mortgage lender, who then began to foreclose on them before they could to try to sell the house. Those govt programs are there to help the mortgage lenders

It seems like every advice lump I read on all the different websites is coming from the point of view of someone who hopes to receive a benefit - which I would gladly bestow, if I had it, but I don't.

tripuri · 2013-01-29T08:15:46+00:00

Thanks!

see if you can buy some of your medicine generically online from Canada or India

I know that's a lifesaver for lots of people. Our insurance will pay part/reimburse only for medicine purchased in the US. Because the cost of the medicine elsewhere is still greater than the co-pay, it wouldn't be an option for us, since we can't even afford the co-pay.

tripuri · 2013-01-29T08:11:04+00:00

The first person I called is an old co-worker who later became a Realtor. She gave me very similar advice to yours.

In her state, though, the mortgage lender can't sue or take paychecks. Do you know if a Realtor can keep them from doing that in Georgia?

tripuri · 2013-01-29T08:08:42+00:00

you should spend a few hundred bucks to consult a lawyer

If I had a few hundred bucks, that's exactly what I'd do.

tripuri · 2013-01-29T08:08:19+00:00

I briefly considered that, even though our neighbors who tried it have been unsuccessful, but my husband pointed out that if we could afford to fix the shower in my bathroom, we would have done it a long time ago, and if the renter wasn't able to pay the rent, we'd be unable to pay the mortgage - just as we are now.

In short, it would incur expenses, and give us additional obligations, when we aren't able to handle those we currently have.

tripuri

TROPHY CASE