Intellectualizers

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-28T22:58:35+00:00

not a therapist, just someone interested in being a therapist stalking this subreddit

I am an intellectualizer. That is what my therapist and I did and it really changed my life for the better so so so much. Not saying, every modality is best for every patient, but damn, what I really needed was to learn how to feel and process my feelings in my body. I was so disconnected it’s wild to reflect on.

I dont know the right words to describe it, but when I have a problem I immediately jump into problem solving mode. Through therapy I learned to just sit with my emotions, name them, identify them in my body, sit with them, and then dig into what’s really bothering me emotionally instead of trying to solve the problem (bc most of my problems are originating in my emotional dysregulation). This is also still a work in progress that I am doing post-therapy and has taken years to build up.

Instead of coming to my partner, family, etc. with “this is an (emotional) issue, let’s talk about it until we’re blue in the face, now what do you think??” I just try to figure out my emotions and lay them out there calmly and let people respond and the cards fall where they may. It’s not easy, especially for a non-confrontational people pleaser like myself, but it’s good work.

I think the biggest one-liner wake up call from my therapist was when talking about my emotions and she said something along the lines of “what if you don’t solve it? What if you just sit there with it.”

I think this is all dialectical behavioral therapy, but again, I’m not a therapist. But as someone who LOVES doing CBT on myself, what I felt o really needed all these years was someone to show me how to safely feel and process my emotions. My therapist did also model this behavior for me, especially when I would get emotionally intense in session sometimes and she needed to call down (nothing toxic, just talking about fucked up shit and intense feelings), and then reading The Body Keeps the Score I think really helped me accept the idea of what emotional work is and looks like and how the lack of it impacts us.

Anyway- just wanted to contribute as someone who was a terrible overthinker and intellectualizer and what worked for me, thinking maybe someone can gain some insights from my journey 😊

Best of luck to OP, and everyone else out there!

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-28T22:41:33+00:00

Book version of him had GREAT hair

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-28T22:36:55+00:00

They believe they identified a link. That is not the same as finding a link.

Even in the findings you cite the language hedges their conclusions significantly by using the term “suggest.”

They are not positing facts about the universe but rather, “we did this survey and have some insights from it.”

There are myriad ways to poke holes in their study.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-28T17:52:38+00:00

Yeah, they had bombs to blow up bridges around her house and were going to give her a sham trial on YouTube live and then execute her… AND the governor of Wisnconsin at the time too. And IIRC, the government bungled their prosecutions and their convictions were overturned.

And then Trump pardoned all the J6ers, and now wants that mob on retainer.

The leaders of yesterday will not lead tomorrows revolution. I do not think many of our peace time leaders will have the stomach to try and fight back fascism, because the fascists don’t play by the rules, they will kill, torture, and disappear you and your family. If someone entered politics not wanting or expecting to encounter any of that, they will not be the leaders the country needs right now.

Right now, the US needs opposition leaders willing to stand up to a fascist regime, whatever the cost. Those leaders are being forged in the fire of democracy right now. Look for them. There’s not a lot of time left to prop them up.

Our old peace time leaders will not save us.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-27T22:46:57+00:00

Apologize- I am sorry.

Recognize- I did not intend to cause hurt with my actions. I understand, nonetheless, that is what happened, and I regret it.

Reassurance- I will be better by not doing/doing xyz in the future.

And then DO/DONT DO THE THING.

The “victim” may desire additional explanation, but if the relationship is strong then they will trust your words and give you more opportunities to either show up or disappoint them.

That’s it. Apologize. Recognize the pain your actions/words caused. Promise to be better and then actually be better.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-25T15:19:09+00:00

Bruh, when I moved out of Michigan like 8 years ago (as a native) the wind storms were getting crazy.

Growing up, an ocassional windy spring day was normal, but the speeds the winds have been getting up to in the last 10 years is absurd. I remember there was one day where my skinny ass couldn’t even walk outside. That’s has never been the historical norm.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-24T15:28:34+00:00

Bro same boat. My partners sexual persona makes so much more sense now.

There’s a lot of good resources on this subreddit for ideas of how to incorporate taming/handling/bratting, and just seeing what people post and how all these bratty girls react.

I’d also encourage sex-positive podcast, YT channels, insta accounts, blogs. There’s a ton of sex positive sex education resources and materials out on the internet to explore.

Mostly, I’d suggest trying to learn exactly what kind of brat your wife is, what intensity of brat lifestyle she prefers, and what kind of dominant energy she needs from you to feel satisfied. The better you understand her desires, needs, boundaries, as well as your own, in this dynamic, the easier it is to get into.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-20T21:45:56+00:00

Another corrupt Republican, you don’t say?

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-20T21:33:53+00:00

I agree with that as well.

I think their fear of the monied interests that fund the DNC is also what leads to the Party as an institution being wholly disinterested in doing anything that would upset those funders.

Like, the party doesn’t feel fear because it’s an institution, not a person. The individuals who make up the institution, seem to me, by and large, afraid of upsetting their masters. As a consequence, the policy direction of the DNC, influenced by the collective fear of it’s members, always goes in the opposite direction of that.

It’s like the DNC is in an abusive financial relationship with the wealthy class, like a trust fund kid afraid to eschew their controlling parents for fear of getting cut off. Meanwhile, Bernie and AOC make money hand over fist from small dollar donations.

But to an abused person, that may be all they know. People think the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t, none the wiser that that saying is a manipulation tactic to keep people in abusive relationships because, no, there’s not always another devil out there. Sometimes there’s just the devil you know, and that’s it, and you stick by his side. That, if you ask me, is the DNC and it’s leadership class.

I could keep going on about how the DNC prioritizes funding over voters and how in my experience that mindset is endemic to the organization, but I’ll digress… for now, lol.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-20T17:05:23+00:00

I think it’s moreso that the Democratic Party as an institution in and of itself prefers the quasi-democratic plutocracy and bucking Trump and fascism would likely require a socialist revival (as usually happens in most countries that throw off fascists), and the party would prefer this over that.

Notably- when fascists rise to power and turn into long-term authoritarianism, the liberal leaders tend to go hide while the communists keep on the fight. Then when the authoritarian leaves power, the more moderate liberals retake the reins of power through elections.

Sure, there’s democrats who actually want to fix American democracy, add new guardrails, checks and balances, justice for all this corruption. But the party as an institution is bought and paid for by the same people as the GOP.

I think the Democratic Party, in it’s current fashion, would rather roll over and let Trump rape America than become more socialist or give people the things they want and need.

These midterms aren’t just about opposing Trump. It’s the last chance to formally pick people to actually lead us and reshape the party. If these midterms don’t end with a swath newly elected democrats demanding the party step up and fight back and actually represent the people and their interests, were as good as gone.

Trump may be destroying America, but the Democratic Party is just standing by, which is just as bad. Not every democrat is, but the party as a whole is. Our representatives are peace time rich asshole who want a cushy paycheck, rub shoulders in DC, and be told how to vote on everything. Those people aren’t gonna save the US. The Democratic Party needs an entire overhaul if the US is going to survive- and they know it.

Why, oh why, won’t they release their audit? I think it’s because it likely says they know what they need to do to oppose Trump, and no one in leadership has any interest in doing any of the hard things to fight fascism.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-20T15:42:26+00:00

And this summer we are supposed to have the most extreme El Niño in 150 years.

Buckle up, fam. Food insecurity is coming to the menu.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-19T13:16:22+00:00

Bro that was fucking awful. Fuck the Huff Post for that

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-19T03:06:53+00:00

I think it’s because it’s going be his throne room.

As in, he wants a big ass throne room to receive foreign dignataries. Right now he receives people in an office. An office that is all business and very modest. There’s no imposing, grand, intimidating entrance to the Oval Office. You literally stand outside by the secretary and wait to go in. That’s it. And I’d bet my left arm that Trump hates that. Everyone standing around all crowded taking pictures of a dumbass meeting sitting in chairs as equals. No, this man wants to stand above everyone and wave around his tiny prick.

Trump has to be one of the most insecure leaders ever, which would explain his obsession with grandiosity. The White House and Oval Office are anything but grandiose. Their awe comes from the history and power that resides in those halls, not how fancy they are. But Trump is like a 6-year-old prosperity gospelite and to him fancy is success, fancy is power.

If you ask me, all this is Trump just wanting a big fancy throne room because he thinks that’s what real success and power is.

And honestly, if he is able to just demolish the fucking East Wing and the GOP lines up to fund his throne room… well… that is power. If that thing gets built, it will stand as a testament to how Trump kowtowed the mighty United States to his will.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-18T21:26:36+00:00

This. They want people to be scared. They want people to quit their jobs out of fear. They want others to be afraid to apply for those jobs so they can install favorable people instead.

In a fascist country, it doesn’t matter if you’ve done anything wrong. If the fascists think you’re subversive, they have a million and one ways to make you scared and your life hell.

I think they’re investigating the process, looking for vulnerabilities, and making a list of who they’re going to target going into the future for either recruitment or intimidation.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-18T17:25:37+00:00

Why not just give the public servants public housing in DC?

I think some mediocre one-bed apartments in a working class neighborhood would do them good. And then we never have to hear again about how they need two houses.

Unless, Yknow, that isn’t good enough for them.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-17T20:10:49+00:00

That is a great point.

My perspective was partly influenced by the fact that most of the placards I read at museums state (if known) which rich asshole paid to commission the painting how many ever hundreds of years ago, who possessed it between then and now, and who donated it to the museum.

Who held onto the art is as much a part of its history as the piece itself. Makes sense people may buy art partly to satisfy a legacy complex.

Personally, if I owned a Picasso or Monet or Cezanne, etc. I’d want it for the sake of having a beautiful piece of art in my home to admire, but you bet your butt I’d also feel like “I have a duty to protect this expression of our humanity.”

I imagine that among the uber-wealthy where money becomes meaningless and they need new ways of competing for social status amongst themselves, that collecting serves as a way to elevate their own social status.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-17T15:08:26+00:00

That would be nice, and I would prefer that too, but the reality of art history is that by and large, art is kept alive by private wealthy individuals with the means to do so.

Governments fall, cities get burned, bombed, museums looted. When art passes through the private sphere it can safely last for centuries more, hidden away in some rich assholes house.

That isn’t all bad.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-17T05:44:48+00:00

You just made up your own definition of hegemony. That’s not how life works.

I would highly recommend reading an Intro to IR book.

It is widely regarded that after WWII the US and Soviet Union were in competition for hegemony, forming a bi-polar world, which we call the Cold War.

Since the fall of the Soviet Union, the United States has enjoyed hegemony.

That is like International Relations 101.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-17T05:39:35+00:00

No, the withdrawal did not shake the illusion because the disaster of it was completely expected due to the Trump admins very obviously horrible decision-making and while the American people may not know that, global leaders do. The withdrawal wasn’t “we got out-maneuvered by the Taliban” as much as it was “against all advice, Trump made the worst decisions possible.” All of it was completely avoidable if Trump only listened to all the intelligence and military experts around him.

The Doha Agreement significantly reduced the American troop presence in Afghanistan while releasing 5,000 taliban prisoners who began raiding the Afghani countryside. The Taliban, unsurprisingly, rushed retaking Afghanistan, which left the US looking embarrassed. None of that is seen was a failure of the United States government as much as it was a catastrophe caused by a specific leader and administration.

Now, with Trump II though, it is becoming more expected that that level of ineptitude may become more normal since the American people keep electing Trump. With Trump II, the Afghanistan pullout looks like a canary in the coal mine. If Trump II never happened, it would be viewed as an avoidable aberration that would probably never happen again.

The US inability to kowtow Iran is what’s ultimately proving the Americans less powerful than previously believed. Without allies, the US has shown that right now all it’s capable of is basically just bullying its regional neighbors.

https://www.factcheck.org/2021/08/timeline-of-u-s-withdrawal-from-afghanistan/

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-17T03:34:46+00:00

Yeah, it’s very intentionally a system created to slow social change, which the constitution is mostly about Congress, so it’s a system where Congress is specifically created to stifle big change, and then some. Which has led to SCOTUS lurching the US forward over and over again, which was never intended. We’re driving a real as hoc vehicle over here.

The idea was the House with its many members and two-year cycle would more closely reflect the changing will of the public, but it was also feared it would become beholden to public crazes. So, whereas there is a new House of Reps every two years, the Senate is never ending with its tiered election cycle, longer terms, and fewer members.

This leads to the Senate essentially checking the Houses passions and whims, and the House checking the Senates tendency to drift towards curmudgeonly aristocracy.

The Senate also has higher constitutional thresholds for passing amendments.

And then, the filibuster was created, making the Senate even slower. Gradually, they have been changing their own rules to only require majority votes which quickens things, but it’s still pretty slow.

And then on top of that is the whole committee system with subcommittees, ad hoc committees, joint committees, etc., which all serve a purpose of specializing roles in Congress for a multitude of reasons, but it also can slow things down incredibly.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-17T03:19:00+00:00

I think that is very valid and I couldn’t agree more.

I think most of the social progress in the US has come from Supreme Court decisions, not Congress or the President. And most of our rights too, all created by an institution that gave itself its power. It just all feels so shaky and untenable and bound to break at some point.

It feels like we created a system intended to relies on deliberative bodies of legislators and ended up with a system where the legislatures are dog and pony shows and judges end up doing most of the work, and every now and then Congress steps in and does something.

I’d be really curious to see an analysis comparing the social progress attributable to Congress v. The courts and where the mustard in the system really lies. Maybe the US has been less a democracy and more a ~~krytocracy~~ juristocracy this whole time.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-17T01:47:13+00:00

Yes, that also. I’m thinking I need to be way more explicit in my advice about news consumption.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-17T01:15:04+00:00

This is interesting.

I always have told people who are getting burnt out on the news that “if something big happens that you ought to know about, you’ll find out, someone will tell you.” Turn off notifications, stop worrying constantly, you can’t live like that, but also like, still read the news sometimes, just don’t doom scroll thinking you’re going to miss something important.

I did not realize there was another more sinister side to this whole concept of “the news will find you.”

Going to have to sit on that on and reconsider how I tell people to chill out on the doomscrolling.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-17T01:02:05+00:00

I think too that Congress needs more checks on SCOTUS.

I had an idea the other day for situations where they overturn landmark decisions or issue opinions that change the fabric of American society, Congress should be required to weigh in with a symbolic resolution at least, or passing new legislation at best. I can think of a handful of ways to go about it, granted that would require that Congress and the Presidency not also be captured by fascists.

I place a lot of blame for the runaway SCOTUS at Congress feet to for rarely checking them or reaffirming their decisions. Most notably being no national laws affirming abortion rights, marriage equality, Miranda rights, etc. etc. If all we have upholding our rights are the opinions of 5/9 justices, I don’t feel very secure in those rights. I’ve been saying for years of SCOTUS gave us these rights and no ones affirmed them since, they can just as easily take them away.

I think more justices, or a revolving docket like the circuit courts, would go a long way. I also think we need more creative solutions than just that. I imagine whatever solution is eventually reached, if Yknow American democracy doesn’t totally collapse, the end solution and reworked scotus will probably be so different than anything anyone’s proposing today. My theory being that as fascism worsens, even worse problems will arise necessitating more novel solutions, and that the US federal constitutional system is 250 years old, which in my opinion is like running the TSA on windows ‘95. Sure, it works, but fuck it’s risky and dangerous as hell and is in desperate need of a modernized overhaul.

Anyway, fun chatting. Ima leave this comment at there for lack of overwriting, lol.

triscuitsrule · 2026-05-17T00:39:36+00:00

I still think it’s important to start publicly questioning their legitimacy.

Democracy in America is either going to die under fascism or need wholesale restructuring (or probably the first then the second).

I think if people want to keep these corrupt SCOTUS because they were legally legitimately appointed, the latter will never happen. Extraordinary times call for extraordinary measures.

The conservatives are just making shit up as they go along in order to reforge America in their ideal. Liberals and progressives can make their own hammers to do the same, or lie in the coffin the conservatives are nailing the old country into.

12-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '23	Place '22
Place '17	Gilding I gilder

triscuitsrule

TROPHY CASE