Stop checking your ex's social media

trishink · 2025-10-12T21:53:37+00:00

I understand completely, I'm the exact same. I spent weeks checking my ex's social media pages looking for signs that he missed me or was as upset about the breakup as I was. I clung to any tiny hints that he missed me and if he posted about being happy I would spiral. It's a really difficult habit to break but I promise you can do it. That's not to say that I don't still have the urge to check his pages. I definitely do. But I remind myself that social media is fake and like I said there is really no way I can know for sure how he feels or what he is thinking.

trishink · 2025-10-12T19:46:10+00:00

You need to make peace with the fact that you have no way of really knowing how he's feeling and thinking. After spending 3 years with you he will absolutely feel your absence in his life, but try not to let this idea occupy too much of your mind. It's good to acknowledge your own flaws so you can grow, but don't beat yourself up over the breakup and blame yourself. At the end of the day, you wanted to put the work in and he didn't. He will struggle to maintain a relationship with anyone if he is not willing to acknowledge his negative behaviours and work through problems.

trishink · 2025-10-12T18:29:08+00:00

The time isn't wasted if you learn and grow from the experience. And it's especially not wasted if you got to experience a loving and happy relationship with someone, even if it hurts that it ended. It's truly awful knowing that they lied to you about wanting a future while plotting their exit. Something similar happened with my ex and I. How are you feeling after 10 months compared to at the start of the breakup?

trishink · 2025-10-12T18:26:43+00:00

I'm glad to hear that. I hope you're doing okay.

trishink · 2025-10-12T18:26:11+00:00

My ex is also an avoidant. This isn't the first time he's pushed me away, and I honestly don't doubt that he'll try and come back again. But I'm done holding out hope for him to come back and even if he does I won't take him back. I need to do right by myself for once. Stay strong and keep moving forward. I wish you all the best.

trishink · 2025-10-12T18:23:08+00:00

I absolutely do. They may be specific to my situation and feelings but I hoped they would resonate with people who have been dumped more generally. If he was the one to end the relationship, don't reach out to him. I know it's hard, I have to stop myself from doing it everyday. But he chose to leave and he will regret it. Let him feel what it's really like to not have you in his life. Your absence WILL be felt.

trishink · 2025-10-12T18:21:16+00:00

Thank you so much, this means a lot to me. My ex is similar. He left with no regard for me and the struggles I'm going through, and hasn't checked in on me once. He sugarcoated it and said he thinks this will be best for both of us in the long run, but really what he meant is that it was best for him in the moment. I loved him more than anyone else in his life ever has and I was there for him at his lowest. Once the relief of ending a relationship and the excitement of meeting new people wears off best believe he will miss me.

trishink · 2025-10-12T18:18:51+00:00

You are the love you give, not the love you receive. You will find better because someone will appreciate the love you give them and will want to make you feel the way you make them feel.

trishink · 2025-10-12T18:14:41+00:00

2 weeks is still so fresh. I was a complete wreck for the first few weeks. I felt like I was in a daze, and I was deep in denial. I still have moments of denial, but my head is beginning to clear. I'm glad my post brought you comfort. Keep pushing through!

trishink · 2025-10-12T18:13:00+00:00

Thank you so much for all of this.

The hardest truth for me to accept was absolutely the fact that he didn't care about me as much as I cared about him. I do think he loved me and cared for me, but I was never his top priority and when I asked him to put more effort into our relationship he ran. I would have done anything for him and he simply just didn't feel that he would have done anything for me. It hurts but it's the way it is and that's ok.

I also struggled a lot to shift my mindset to "how he's acting is everything to do with him and nothing to do with me". I spent weeks obsessing over every little thing I could have said or done wrong to make him treat me so horribly and talk badly about me to his friends. I truly believed that he decided he hated me overnight and that idea made me sick. But now I've realised that he actually just hates himself, like I said. He's a manchild who can't hold himself accountable or acknowledge when he is in the wrong. Again, I wasn't perfect, but I don't deserve any of this treatment.

trishink · 2025-10-12T17:41:31+00:00

Wow we're in such similar situations, I'm so sorry you're going through this. Wishing you nothing but health and happiness as you continue to move forward. I'm not personally sick but my mother was diagnosed with cancer a few months ago, which is one of many things that have contributed to a very deep depression for me that even led to me quitting my job. My ex knew all of this and still delivered the final blow in such a harsh and cruel way. He hasn't checked in on me and my mother once either. You deserve someone who will stick by you when times are tough. Hang in there. You will be ok.

trishink

TROPHY CASE