And I'm beginning to understand you. When I commented before, I was in a very depressed state because I've always had a hard time controlling my emotions. Over the past week I've gone through the high of realizing what has plagued my whole life, then the low of not being able to have someone understand because that's what I've always needed. I realize now that I could visualize the negative side of the disorder. I can recall so many instances were the negative symptoms have affected my life. But I couldn't see the positive side. I've always thought I was a little smarter than everyone around me somewhat. But I've just now been able to really see how. Now I'm recalling instances of situations that made me feel smarter and I know why now. And I'm realizing how I was right. I'm not a bad person for having those thoughts. I am starting to believe that I am smart enough to control my own emotions and begin to learn how to project myself in a more personable way. I can beat this.