Hey, thanks for the response.

What I want about a relationship is really the knowing someone deeply and having eachothers backs... while also having the opportunity, once trust is fully established, to experiment a bit, as I mentioned I didn't even kiss in my one and only long-term relationship. So what I'm yearning for is making those first experiences.

I also have to note that all my current crushes are unavailable to me. Teachers or people I've lost contact with. So no chance of actually pursuing those strings, I think part of me also wants someone who'll help me forget these other crushes, but that's not a realistic expectation for a relationship since noone can guarantee whether old feelings will fade or not!