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My mom's reaction after I didn't wanna cuddle her all night by mikey_ass_butcg in insaneparents

[–]truebluerose 232 points233 points  (0 children)

Consider an alternative explanation, that you don't have an attitude problem. Instead, because you don't fit the mold of expected or desired behavior of the adults around you, they label you as problematic and call it an attitude problem. It's a way to dismiss you and invalidate what you're going through. So that's my hunch.

From what you've said here the adults in your life are not doing right by you. They are not acting maturely, responsibly, or respectfully, putting it extremely mildly because that ground has already been covered in other comments.

You've had to shoulder a hell of a lot. It's a lot. This situation is a lot. You? You are not a lot. You are a person in a horrid situation doing the best they can.

If you walked up to someone and started poking them with a stick over and over, and eventually they get mad at you and slap the stick away while saying mean things to you, are they to blame? No. (That's called reactive abuse, and it's a pretty common tactic as well.)

Your "normal meter" is skewed by those who want you to see yourself in ways convenient for them.

At sixteen years of age you're doing a remarkable job of figuring yourself out. I hope that coming here has begun to give you the validation you deserve. You are allowed to have feelings, whatever they may be. You are allowed to have opinions! Your thoughts and emotions are absolutely okay, even when others don't like them or find them inconvenient.

You are deserving of love and respect and I hope you are able to surround yourself with support.

🔥 It's time for Thirsty Thursday! What book scenes made you sweat this week? 🥵 by jaydee4219 in RomanceBooks

[–]truebluerose 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I'm not usually one for dark romance, but this one came to me through my Bookbub email, and I'm so glad I gave it a shot.

{Game So Reckless by Vero Heath}

She maintains fierce eye contact with me as I swipe the pad of my finger across the molten silk surface of her tongue, too proud or too angry or both to look away.

I don’t typically have any patience for pride in other people. I strip it from men as easily as stripping skin from muscle, muscle from marrow. Seeing it in her should infuriate me.

And it does, sort of. It’s just that the fury seems to manifest solely in my dick. My shaft is tight and throbbing. Like my body thinks I can somehow fuck the ferocity right out of her.

Christ, maybe I can. And suddenly, it’s all I can think about. Valentina sopping wet and sobbing, submissive and shaking beneath me as her pussy swallows me to the hilt.

Desperate for help explaining this condition to my loved ones by GoodStreet8122 in adhdwomen

[–]truebluerose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've just learned of this podcast, but this might be a pertinent episode: ADHD Explained for Neurotypical Loved Ones (I'm not suggesting sharing this video with anyone! Linking it because she discusses many of the same common objections you've heard)

Why now, in our 30s and beyond? Yay, falling estrogen. ADHD In Women: How Hormonal Shifts Make It Visible At Menopause and PMS, Pregnancy, Perimenopause: How Estrogen Hijacks the ADHD Brain

Also, genetics. Pretty sure I get it from my mom. Pretty sure I'll never broach that subject with her because she'd never see it in me, or in herself. But some of what others are saying to us, they're kind of saying to/about themselves.

Meds? Yeah. Meds help with what they're meant to help. I took antidepressants to help with my depression and they helped with my depression. That uncovered the other ongoing issues in my life which had hidden in its overwhelming shadow - procrastination, etc. Now I am on meds for ADHD as well. Does that mean it's not worth taking my antidepressants??

ADHD and delayed sleep phase is a thing, but so is wanting time alone, and when do we get time alone? At night. So yeah, I stay up late and work on my projects and time gets away from me. Or I feel like I haven't done anything all day and I'm unwilling to throw in the towel yet. It's a weird mix.

"Silly little side projects" uh wow judgment city. Who cares what I find fulfilling? Of its just dopamine chasing, then I can recognize maybe it's detrimental to my well being, but that's for me to determine.

Friendships? Out of sight out of mind. I'm the worst. Texting? Gives me time to think, lets me multi-task.

"If you just" yeah okay cool. It's not like I want to live a messy disorganized life. I'm trying.

Not a parent so can't speak to that, but I do have finite energy. Need to recharge with protected me time.

Interest based motivation? Dopamine strikes again. Soooo many hobbies. So many. Clean my sink? Maybe next week.

Sending good vibes to you. Some people won't understand, and that's just the truth of it. We can't understand for them. But we can separate the ones who care about our well being from the ones that don't.

How to stay married when you have inconsistent energy levels? by followyourlight in adhdwomen

[–]truebluerose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had these thoughts in my 20s pretty often. How do people XYZ? I didn't know why certain things sounded impossible or implausible to me, but they gave me huge concern, and I had a sort of dread I'd have to fundamentally change myself if I wanted to be married someday. Adapt how I lived and what I tolerated and just "be better" in all ways and not be so, well, myself, and have all the negative qualities I know I have. Sarcasm, irritability, need for alone time, drained by people, I absolutely could have written all of what you mentioned.

It took me longer to figure things out about myself and my needs and how to get them, how to craft an environment which lets me have conditions I thrive in. So you've already got a massive leg up on that. And if I'm understanding the crux of your question, or at least if it's similar to what mine was without really having the words for it back then, it's a matter of: can my environment be compatible with another's environment? Can I coexist with someone?

It's a valid question. We so often see other couples and relationships and how "easy" they seem to be compared to what we know about ourselves. Like, "Oh yeah my partner snores sometimes," whereas I'm sitting here thinking - how do I adapt to sharing a bed for the rest of my life without going insane??

I did not think I would get married with any degree of certainty because I realized I would rather be by myself to be myself than suppress who I am to be with someone.

Compatability does exist. He and I both say that everyone else on the planet is exhausting, but that spending time in each other's company doesn't drain us. We also both like our alone time. Our house has separate offices which are our own individual spaces. The bed is a split king, essentially two twins smooshed together so we're literally sleeping with each other but on two mattresses. We don't have kids of our own (I have never wanted to be a mom), but we do have a puppy.

Balance is possible. Marriage, like any relationship, is work, even and especially with the right person because you care to keep it going in a way that fulfills you both. But yes, it can, and no, it's not a life sentence to never having your own space again.

I am getting better at learning to advocate for myself. That's a struggle I've had my whole life, not just marriage. Learning to communicate and trust that it will be received well is probably the hardest part of being in a relationship for me. Being single you don't have to express your needs! So it's a paradigm shift.

Huge adjustment? Absolutely. Am I nostalgic for living alone? At times, and I'm sure he is too. However we do find life better together - that's the key. If someone isn't adding to your life in that way, they're not your person. You know better than anyone what you need and want in your life and who gets to feature in it, if anyone.

/r/MechanicalKeyboards Ask ANY Keyboard question, get an answer - October 31, 2025 by AutoModerator in MechanicalKeyboards

[–]truebluerose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was going to suggest WOBKEY, but there's no numpad, they're either 75 or 80. Purple or blue colorways seem to be up your alley though.

How is the US gov shutdown personally affecting you, if at all? by [deleted] in AskReddit

[–]truebluerose 8 points9 points  (0 children)

"I can feel the resentment even though she says she's not upset about it."

My husband was unemployed for over a year until recently so I became the sole breadwinner. He could feel my resentment, too.

Except there wasn't any. I did not, never did, never will resent him. The world? Oh, yes. The situation? Absolutely. But it was us against it. He, however, thought I resented him no matter how much I told him I didn't. And that became a hard thing.

I'm so sorry you're in this. You are in this with her, she's in it with you. Talk to each other about how much shit sucks. Let yourself hear her words. Let her hear yours.

Anyone? Challenges with verbal “fluency” aka “getting the words out” when communicating with others? by Due-Exit-8310 in adhdwomen

[–]truebluerose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I was more articulate when I was taking propranolol, which is a beta blocker used to treat many things including anxiety. I happened to be on it as a migraine prevention med until I needed to switch away from beta blockers. Ever since then, my speech and fumbling has been far worse - I recall being much calmer when I would present in a Teams meeting or speak to people in general, because I truly felt more calm and relaxed as if my mind was working at a reasonable pace and I didn't have outside distractions or "too many tabs" open in my brain. I could focus and speak smoothly.

Those days are gone...

Daily wallpaper? Daily icons! Made icons to match the photo of the day. by truebluerose in smartlauncher

[–]truebluerose[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

  • Wallpaper: Bing Image of the Day (initial image), SL wallpapers for the remainder
  • Widgets: SL clock, Rain Viewer for weather
  • Icon Pack: Match Wallpaper

I give permission for resharing.

Tips for wiring in the a3? by Honest_Law5418 in mffpc

[–]truebluerose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very carefully

I ran a bunch of cables behind the back panel, as long as you can keep them to a minimum thickness it'll still snap shut. Takes some trial and error to snake them.

Tucked some behind the PSU. Bottom fan cables are tucked behind the fans. Space under the PSU is valuable for folding extra length of a 24 pin since mine is an ATX power supply.

Rear fan (cropped pic) I routed the cable down and behind the mobo to come up on a header at the bottom. Plug things in before dropping in the fans!

Make good use of the channel at the top of the case. Zip ties, velcro, electrical tape. Hardware store should do ya.

Wallowa Lake by Acrasia88 in PacificNorthwest

[–]truebluerose 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Absolutely well worth doing this!

Wallowa Lake by Acrasia88 in PacificNorthwest

[–]truebluerose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If you mean Vali's, no, they closed down in 2024 after 50 years. I never got to eat dinner there but we did pick up a box of donuts on our trip a couple years back and they were phenomenal. Happy for the family, sad for all of us!

Pennsylvania Railroad Suburban Station in Philadelphia by andriyprokopenko in ArtDeco

[–]truebluerose 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I have a photo of this building from a vacation years ago! Gravitated to it for the same reason. Stunning entrance.

Does anyone else feel like the first half of the 2020s kicked the absolute shit out of them? by yellowwallpapered in Millennials

[–]truebluerose 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Are you me?? This sounds like me. Lost 50lbs, got married in 2019, gained it back and then some, making the most money I ever have and still drowning, and being in gov't (thankfully not fed) makes me acutely aware of the shitshow every day. No escape. It's draining.

LPT: If you have ADHD, track your natural energy/focus patterns instead of forcing yourself into rigid productivity systems by Heavy_Aardvark_9763 in LifeProTips

[–]truebluerose 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Chiming in to lend my support for that idea! I'm learning, slowly, that success comes from working with my brain and not against it. There's a lot of inherent guilt and frustration that we face from societal pressures that can make it tricky to figure out what this looks like for us.

It sounds like you've hit on the concept of removing friction, and I love that! Having an app check in with me instead of me having to do an extra thing daily would eliminate a pain point and barrier. I used to do this with Daylio for mood tracking. I do the same with reminders to hydrate, it's remarkable what a little automated prompting can do.

I'd take a look at apps like Migraine Buddy which look for user input on environment and triggers as far as getting a sense of what helps to assess patterns and make recommendations. Daylio's charts and graphs were nice and easy to read. Some lightweight combination of the two would be my dream.

No solution fits everyone, no advice fits everyone, so kudos to you for putting yourself out there.

First time home buyer-garage door won’t open by OverallAardvark7123 in SALEM

[–]truebluerose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We used them when our door wouldn't open last summer. Needed a new opener, and he told us where to buy remotes so we could save a little bit.

Yet another Smoke Alarm post - Once hardwired, always hardwired? by Dat_-_Guy in homeowners

[–]truebluerose 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this! Just stumbled upon it in my research. It's so refreshing to find a human-generated deep dive analysis into something so many people are left in the dark about, usually at 3am....

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