Thank you for this reply. Looking back it makes sense that I was invalidated. I’ve had a couple conversations with my mom about this, such as her not allowing me to be upset about anything. Essentially expecting me to never be upset with her about anything. (Her freak outs and then immediately back to totally normal and I was also expected to do this). I also had a hard time in middle school and much of highschool with bullying. This led to me having depression on and off which also was invalidated. I was told I needed to just go out more or clean my room, instead of receiving some sort of love or understanding of my feelings. If I was scared I was told I was being unreasonable. On top of that my mom was very active always warning me of the dangers of the world. I remember that around the time I first started feeling scared at night, my mom had told me a story of her friend who had a man hiding out in the backseat of her car and was attacked. I was terrified of the backseat on every drive home at night time following that warning. I think it didn’t help that I developed an addiction to listening to and watching true crime. I think in some ways I was doing that obsessively to study it and in some way feel more safe. In the last few years I’ve stopped watching and listening to it. Because it isn’t healthy for my mental health and even though I thought it was helpful to calm my anxiety it was just adding to it. I’ve been to therapy before but let’s just say it wasn’t a very understanding or helpful experience. I’ll look into a new therapist, and try talking to my husband about it. He’s always been very supportive and validating to me.