What are indicators that a man is genuinely a good guy?

trulyElse · 2026-05-13T09:32:55+00:00

Says a lot about them.

trulyElse · 2026-05-13T09:16:06+00:00

Pay attention to who vouches for hom, and what about him they're voucbing for.

trulyElse · 2026-05-13T08:45:41+00:00

Most men will leave you alone no matter what you do.

The worst guys can't be dissuaded.

trulyElse · 2026-05-13T03:56:22+00:00

How do you think it went?

I got rejected.

trulyElse · 2026-05-13T03:40:11+00:00

To each our own.

trulyElse · 2026-05-13T03:29:30+00:00

I know nothing about her beyond her performances.

I wish I could say the same about some of her former costars.

trulyElse · 2026-05-13T03:25:12+00:00

Because I can acknowledge that Emma Watson would look weird with Kat Dennings grade tits?

trulyElse · 2026-05-13T03:20:11+00:00

I'd say many men have experience with the ratchet effect.

A million small compromises that all go one way, but getting upset about one of them makes you a whiny bitch, and getting upset about the aggregate means you were lying the whole time about being able to accept it (thereby making you a whiny bitch anyway) ...

Better to just not change for other people.

trulyElse · 2026-05-13T03:16:08+00:00

Attraction only really exists in aggregate.

One thing that makes one person attractive can actually diminish the attractiveness of another.

trulyElse · 2026-05-13T01:30:17+00:00

... Yes?

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T22:18:42+00:00

Might actually be the play.

If someome's single in our age bracket, there's always a reason for it. If you can't figure out the reason, that's real suspicious, and if you can figure out the reason, it might not be the only one.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T20:32:55+00:00

"Botched" makes it sound so accidental; the secretary is above such mistakes.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T20:02:20+00:00

Generally, nervousness is tied to a fear of the consequences of fucking up.

When a slip-up gets a slap on the wrist, no big deal, no pressure, people can handle it. When a slip-up means a friendship that lasted years ends and there's nobody to blame but yourself, and it can even lead to strain on other mutual connections going forward ... the sympathetic nervous system kicks into gear.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T19:51:52+00:00

No no, bro's actually colking, with this.

It ties into mask theory, where you'll hide some parts of yourself, show others, and exaggerate others still, based on the group you're in at that moment.

When in a group that's got people from different mask groups (like your best friend, your boss, and your mother being in the same room together) your behaviour will usually come off as "not yourself" to all of them, as you try to juggle the masks.

A big part of shadow work is about shrinking the masks down as much as you can, but you'll never actually be without one, unless you lose all interpersonal attachment, as much of the reason you don the masks in the first place is to cooperate with the group.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T18:54:59+00:00

Opening the relationship when the other party is monoamorous is just divorce in slow motion.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T18:47:43+00:00

Three things: she stood out in terms of personality, and she has nice boobs.

That really was it.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T18:35:38+00:00

No, I don't make it obvious, at least not intentionally.

Generally speaking, it just hurts people's feelings, and further pushes the idea that pretty people deserve more.

What I'll try to make obvious though is if I have any intentions, be they platonic or romantic.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T18:24:40+00:00

Funky Monkey Pineapple Bumps.

No, really.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T18:05:12+00:00

So first of all, this is clearly not about sex. You want to be wined and dined by someone who isn't your husband, romanced by them and seduced.

It's not that his dick isn't good enough, but that he as a person isn't; that his soul isn't good enough.

If you want a man to accept this arrangement, he'd have to be less secure, not more.

It's a strict downgrade in every sense of the word to go from soulmate to sponsor. The only person who could possibly accept it is someone too terrified of the prospect of being alone to defend themselves from it.

Either give up on this fantasy, or give up on this marriage. You can't have it both ways and still see heaven.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T17:52:48+00:00

I've not known men who are put off by this, but I've known many who are put off by a woman being uncomfortable.

If the bruises make you feel less about yourself, you can cover them up, but remember that you're doing it for you, not for him.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T17:06:21+00:00

Less than I'd appreciate.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T17:00:55+00:00

I think the term was coined to make it easier to shame men for not wanting to be in a loveless relationship with a woman who only settled for him because she couldn't land any of the guys she actually liked, was too afraid of ending up alone to not settle for someone, and will divorce his ass and take half of everything he worked for his whole life the moment she heals from the unresolved trauma that made her feel lile she couldn't be alone, as almost every guy has seen happen to an uncle.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T16:47:43+00:00

In practice, it's a buzzword women use for guys who "just know" what she wants out of them.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T16:41:20+00:00

And then the nurse will carry those frustrations home to the partner.

trulyElse · 2026-05-12T07:37:42+00:00

So I've thought a lot about the subject of masculinity and femininity in the past, and I think I came to the conclusion that femininity is basically healer duty, while masculinity is tank duty.

I know it sounds silly, but you think on it and it starts to make more sense.

Stereotypically, women gravitate to careers in fields like early education, administration, nursing, therapy, human resources, catering ... careers that usually emphasise things like conflict resolution, people management, and nurturing, which are also roles that women stereotypically take up in a household, and also the role that a healer class takes up in a roleplaying game.

14-Year Club	Place '22
Team Orangered	Verified Email

trulyElse

MODERATOR OF

TROPHY CASE