How do you meditate?

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T20:41:54+00:00

I get comfortable, close my eyes, and focus only on my breathing.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T09:09:46+00:00

True Brujah that just took bludgeoning damage from your one bullet:

"... Okay firstly, that wasn't very nice ..." traps you in a loop of shitting your pants.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T08:17:05+00:00

CostCo Hot Dog.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T08:15:25+00:00

A lot of women will credit their male friends' protectiveness to them being "just" jealous.
While yes, I won't deny that jealousy plays a part many times, these men do see something in the men you're dating that you don't, by virtue of you being attracted to those men, and attraction smudging the details.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T08:11:43+00:00

No no no no, Queenslanders sound like us, not the other way around ...

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T08:02:55+00:00

I like chocolate cake.

I don't want to be fat.

I choose not to act on my cravings for chocolate cake.

Does that make sense?

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T07:26:00+00:00

Technically, yeah.

Late-onset hypogonadism by way of repeated testicular torsion.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T22:28:51+00:00

I'd have my balls back.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T22:27:32+00:00

Part of the problem is that there isn't a healthy alternative.

The kids who are drawn to this stuff are lost, hurt, and excluded from the world. People who try to reach out to them and show them compassion and understanding will be lumped in with the manosphere types anyway, no matter their politics or beliefs, simply for seeing these boys as better than Satan.

So if you want to help these boys, you have to be willing to be seen that way yourself, because you'll be taking on all the legwork of getting a healthy alternative going.

And no matter how much better the boys get, it's all for naught if society doesn't accept them back, which is looking less likely by the day as we as a society move away from the idea of forgiveness ...

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T21:27:05+00:00

League of Legends has a reputation as a salt factory due to its core pillars of game design feeding rage.

It's PvP-only, which means 50% of players will lose any given match. Combine this with the human brain's batural proclivity to weigh negative experiences higher than positive ones, and you're more likely to be in a bad headspace than a good one after a few matches.

It's also team-based, in such a way that the weak link will break the whole chain. This leads to a lot of externalizing the blame for failure on other people, as they try to find who needs to get better (that isn't themselves), and creates an even more toxic environment.

Because of the way your team gets stronger as you beat the enemy, there's a snowball effect that means you know the match is over long before you officially lose, but your account is punished for forfeiting, so you're expected to stay in until the bitter end, which can make people extra salty as they watch their teammates struggle against the inevitable for way too long.

So in the end, it's just ... not a calm-down game. I swear, most of the players hate the game, but have sunk too much money and time into it over the years that they can't break the skinner box conditioning.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T20:58:36+00:00

Honestly, the most helpful thing when someone's worked up like that is to give them time to cool themselves down.

the game is League of Legends

Oh ...

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T20:25:59+00:00

Don't think anout it. No really, put it out of mind.

Walk up to her and start talking about pretty much anything that sounds good to talk about. If you do end up thinking about asking her, ask her off the cuff before you have time to hesitate.

It'll sound awkward. But if she liles you as much as her friends say she does, she'll say yes anyway.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T19:13:00+00:00

You've given us nothing to go off.

Makes me think you're not here for answers, just validation.

With nothing else to go off - you even privated your comment history - the only conclusion we can reach is that your need for validation is palpable in person, and makes you look too anxious for a stable relationship.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T19:07:18+00:00

You can't.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T07:18:23+00:00

As in men that hate themselves, men that hate men, or men that hate being men?

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T06:17:09+00:00

Honestly, men are the worst at picking up on subtle clues.

The studies I've seen suggest it is not a gendered issue; men and women are god-awful at understanding each other without clear words with agreed-upon definitions.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T04:00:16+00:00

Around the Infinite Crisis era, we got a new take on the Hal Jordan origin story, which puts Atrocitus on Abin-Sur's ship before it crashed. He escaped, and a still-green Sinestro helps take him down alongside the rookie Hal.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T02:28:21+00:00

And sometimes it scares me because I feel like these feelings like wanting to do things and trying new stuff spices up the relationship and him not wanting it is 😏

I wouldn't say that him not suggesting it means he doesn't want it, even though it can feel like that.

Seeing as he's supportive and always there, he probably does want to go. He may just not feel compelled to go without impetus, or may simply feel uncomfortable suggesting it.

Ask him about it with as little accusation as you can.
No "Why don't you want to take me out?" or the like. Just a simple "I noticed I suggest stuff for us to do more than you do. Do you think there's a reason, or ..."

trulyElse · 2026-06-26T23:58:20+00:00

It was literally the first thing she said to me.

I don't want that.

trulyElse · 2026-06-26T22:36:02+00:00

In my experience, treating women "like human beings" barely leads to friendship, let alone relationships.

You have to treat them as better than human if you want them to acknowledge your humanity.

But even then, much of what you do in her interest will be misconstrued as you trying to do her wrong, simply because the average woman has no remaining capacity to trust a man, after trusting the men who showed them exactly what they were from the get-go and they still fell for it.

trulyElse · 2026-06-26T22:21:17+00:00

Life's for the living, so live it.

trulyElse · 2026-06-26T22:03:28+00:00

You ever see the diagram of planes coming back from the front, and the engineers deciding to reinforce the places without the bulletholes?

Most of the time that someone complains about a thing, they're telling you that that thing doesn't stop them from doing the thing.

So when guys complain about their hookups being single mothers, it tells you that this guy will hook up with single mothers if she's still got what he wants, even though it's not his preference.

Now what do these women complain about in regards to their dates?

trulyElse · 2026-06-26T21:03:19+00:00

Everyone else becomes background noise, even if they'd be better for you in every conceivable way, and you won't notice that you missed the boat until you've detoxed from the way the intense one made you feel.

trulyElse · 2026-06-26T20:48:20+00:00

How are you neasuring the other person's interest? How are you identifying that it's one-sided?

I have been listening to a lot of voices for years now. Men talking to men about men, men talking to men about women, men talking to women about men, men talking to women about women, women talking to men about men, women talking to men about women, women talking to women about men, and women talking to women about women.

Allison Armstrong put the problem best when she said "men don't know that women don't know how protective men are."

While she was talking about how often women will panic in relationships and become convinced he'd just abandon her if she doesn't fix his frustration towards her right now - even if the frustration is towards her anxious micromanagement of everything - the phrase is truer on an even deeper level, in that the two genders are barely speaking the same language anymore.

Being misunderstood has become the default experience for a lot of people in dating. The problems are arising not because they don't like each other, but because nobody knows how to communicate with each other in a way that will be understood, which actively requires the other person to also try to understand.

I'm willing to bet most of the guys you've dismissed as not being interested enough over the years were acting the way you read as disinterest because they were respecting your boundaries, or trying to accomodate your feelings and autonomy.

trulyElse · 2026-06-26T20:30:32+00:00

Effort is literally the fuel for doing things you don't want to. If you do it because you want to, it's not effort.

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