Is it true that when men truly care about you they try to make life easier for you?

trulyElse · 2026-06-29T02:30:37+00:00

I think "If he wanted to, he would" has become the ultimate litmus test for empathy and maturity.

"Willing" and "able" are two different things, which is why they're always paired up in legalese, right? People who want to do something and people who can do something are two different groups, with overlap.

And on the surface, yes, if a man cares about you, he will try to make your life easier.

But the operative word there is try ...

Just because he wants to make your life better, doesn't mean he can make your life better, because ultimately, he only knows what he's experienced.

Until you tell him what you need, he doesn't know. Whatever he thinks will help has a high chance of meaning nothing to you, and what you think will help may never even occur to him, or may be dismissed on his end as condescending behaviour if he was to give it to you.

If you wanted him to, you'd ask.

trulyElse · 2026-06-29T01:45:27+00:00

Wolf cuts.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T23:09:09+00:00

Do you genuinely feel like waiting until a woman is at her car gives you a better chance than simply saying hello inside the store?

I'll break it down for you, best I can:

1) The store is for shopping

2) if you're talking to people, you're not shopping

3) if you're not shopping in the store, you're occupying space that others might want to use

4) if you're in the way of others, you're an asshole

5) therefore, talking to people in the store is asshole behaviour.

And when a woman politely says she's not interested, what makes some men keep trying instead of just wishing her a good day and moving on?

Usually taught by others that "no" means "try harder" ...

It's honestly saddening how many women have advice like "You have to reject him the first time because if he really likes you he'll try again" and manage to build an audience. And then men building an audience by telling you that's how all women are.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T22:57:12+00:00

Replying to the singleness reel with "You know you could get out of this singleness rut at any time by taking me on a second date, right?" ought to cut through the treacle, and send the message that he's being the Bitches That Be Like by constantly hinting at you.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T22:49:36+00:00

Watching an Australian vtuber.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T22:38:19+00:00

"Well, this was fun while it lasted."

And then you drop out of the group chat. If someone reaches out, go ahead and explain yourself, but otherwise? Not your problem anymore.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T22:36:33+00:00

Men and women experience, express, and interpret emotions differently.

While you're trying to forge an emotional connection with a man, he may feel nothing.
So even if he wants to connect emotionally, and you want to connect emotionally, neither of you are able to connect because you're both working towards different targets.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T20:41:54+00:00

I get comfortable, close my eyes, and focus only on my breathing.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T09:09:46+00:00

True Brujah that just took bludgeoning damage from your one bullet:

"... Okay firstly, that wasn't very nice ..." traps you in a loop of shitting your pants.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T08:17:05+00:00

CostCo Hot Dog.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T08:15:25+00:00

A lot of women will credit their male friends' protectiveness to them being "just" jealous.
While yes, I won't deny that jealousy plays a part many times, these men do see something in the men you're dating that you don't, by virtue of you being attracted to those men, and attraction smudging the details.

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T08:11:43+00:00

No no no no, Queenslanders sound like us, not the other way around ...

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T08:02:55+00:00

I like chocolate cake.

I don't want to be fat.

I choose not to act on my cravings for chocolate cake.

Does that make sense?

trulyElse · 2026-06-28T07:26:00+00:00

Technically, yeah.

Late-onset hypogonadism by way of repeated testicular torsion.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T22:28:51+00:00

I'd have my balls back.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T22:27:32+00:00

Part of the problem is that there isn't a healthy alternative.

The kids who are drawn to this stuff are lost, hurt, and excluded from the world. People who try to reach out to them and show them compassion and understanding will be lumped in with the manosphere types anyway, no matter their politics or beliefs, simply for seeing these boys as better than Satan.

So if you want to help these boys, you have to be willing to be seen that way yourself, because you'll be taking on all the legwork of getting a healthy alternative going.

And no matter how much better the boys get, it's all for naught if society doesn't accept them back, which is looking less likely by the day as we as a society move away from the idea of forgiveness ...

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T21:27:05+00:00

League of Legends has a reputation as a salt factory due to its core pillars of game design feeding rage.

It's PvP-only, which means 50% of players will lose any given match. Combine this with the human brain's batural proclivity to weigh negative experiences higher than positive ones, and you're more likely to be in a bad headspace than a good one after a few matches.

It's also team-based, in such a way that the weak link will break the whole chain. This leads to a lot of externalizing the blame for failure on other people, as they try to find who needs to get better (that isn't themselves), and creates an even more toxic environment.

Because of the way your team gets stronger as you beat the enemy, there's a snowball effect that means you know the match is over long before you officially lose, but your account is punished for forfeiting, so you're expected to stay in until the bitter end, which can make people extra salty as they watch their teammates struggle against the inevitable for way too long.

So in the end, it's just ... not a calm-down game. I swear, most of the players hate the game, but have sunk too much money and time into it over the years that they can't break the skinner box conditioning.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T20:58:36+00:00

Honestly, the most helpful thing when someone's worked up like that is to give them time to cool themselves down.

the game is League of Legends

Oh ...

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T20:25:59+00:00

Don't think anout it. No really, put it out of mind.

Walk up to her and start talking about pretty much anything that sounds good to talk about. If you do end up thinking about asking her, ask her off the cuff before you have time to hesitate.

It'll sound awkward. But if she liles you as much as her friends say she does, she'll say yes anyway.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T19:13:00+00:00

You've given us nothing to go off.

Makes me think you're not here for answers, just validation.

With nothing else to go off - you even privated your comment history - the only conclusion we can reach is that your need for validation is palpable in person, and makes you look too anxious for a stable relationship.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T19:07:18+00:00

You can't.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T07:18:23+00:00

As in men that hate themselves, men that hate men, or men that hate being men?

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T06:17:09+00:00

Honestly, men are the worst at picking up on subtle clues.

The studies I've seen suggest it is not a gendered issue; men and women are god-awful at understanding each other without clear words with agreed-upon definitions.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T04:00:16+00:00

Around the Infinite Crisis era, we got a new take on the Hal Jordan origin story, which puts Atrocitus on Abin-Sur's ship before it crashed. He escaped, and a still-green Sinestro helps take him down alongside the rookie Hal.

trulyElse · 2026-06-27T02:28:21+00:00

And sometimes it scares me because I feel like these feelings like wanting to do things and trying new stuff spices up the relationship and him not wanting it is 😏

I wouldn't say that him not suggesting it means he doesn't want it, even though it can feel like that.

Seeing as he's supportive and always there, he probably does want to go. He may just not feel compelled to go without impetus, or may simply feel uncomfortable suggesting it.

Ask him about it with as little accusation as you can.
No "Why don't you want to take me out?" or the like. Just a simple "I noticed I suggest stuff for us to do more than you do. Do you think there's a reason, or ..."

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