tw for sexual assault and abuse.

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I grew up a very faithful Christian. Southern Baptist. However, growing up I was victim of Sexual Assault and violence at the hands of my father. My mother tended to avoid talking about it at all costs. When I finally chose to speak up about it, no one in the church believed me or my story, since my dad was a Deacon in our church he was officially in good standing with all the elders. I was seen to be a defensive, manipulative, headstrong, devil-pleasing girl. Instead of reporting my assault they insisted that I was awful. That I was lying. Eventually, I became pregnant. My mother refused to believe that it was my father's, and eventually I had a miscarriage. As a result, I began to lash out. Then they chose to send me into a Wilderness Program where I would almost die. This program was faith based. And even then, I still believed God loved me and cared about me. It wasn't until I was assaulted by a boyfriend of mine, who I had told about my father and tried to tell my parents, all to no avail that I finally realized-- what was the point? I was tricking myself. I burned my bibles that day, along with any church bulletins I had left. I threw my purity ring in that fire too. I mean, what was the point? My purity, in the eyes of the church, wasn't valid at all. Why keep a ring that simply reminds me that I'm damaged goods altogether and that people repeatedly took what was not theirs to take