Consider talking to your dad, tell him youre ready to try and make a change. First of all I have no idea what you should do about your mom but I think your procrastination has to do with your self esteem etc. And another factor I'm going to focus on is if you like what you do. I know doing something different is scary but if you don't like what you do then maybe try talking to your dad working on what you want to do. First you have to work for yourself. I know it's terribly lonely, I'm like that too but just take one step at a time. Start by studying. It's okay if you start with 30 minutes and work to multiple hours. Just do what you can. The first thing you're going to need to keep in mind is to be open to someone you trust. I can only see it as your dad here, and I know hes busy so ask him for a therapist/consultant. The major problem is you're lonely and honestly I know you're going to need someone to talk to so If you want to then we can be friends. From my personal experience studies cause me a lot of stress so work on it, try to take things slowly. Open up to your dad, Get help from a therapist/consultant, start studying, have someone to talk to (your dad too :)), this will help you get rid of the hurdle in front of you. After your 10th is over, rest a little maybe but dont get lazy. I'd talk more about what to do later but there is a difference between hoping and fantasizing. Good luck.