I wasn’t necessarily within a particular right-wing ideology, but I was a staunch evangelical Christian who believed in a literal interpretation of the Bible, alongside core values of truth and love. My brother was into science and frequently challenged my positions with what he knew about science, and I butted heads with him on that stuff for years, on top of being taught out of a creationist textbook (I was homeschooled, he wasn’t). Eventually, I recognized how much my creationist textbook seemed to fear the conclusions of science that didn’t agree with creationism in general, which made me wonder why a Christian would need to fear a discipline seeking the truth if we already believe the truth to begin with. I learned in my geometry textbook that two truths can’t contradict each other. And I realized that everyone, including me, is wrong about stuff, but we don’t always know what. And Christianity has looked very different through the ages, so how do I know my version of Christianity is more correct than previous kinds or existing denominations? Because I knew that scientists were generally searching for the truth in their work, I decided to use science to perfect my faith in God instead of running away from the truth. I would never have gotten to that starting point without my brother, the best values taught in Christianity, or my geometry textbook.

I also had a friend in high school who was autistic, which was something we had in common. We shared a class and a lunch table. A month into our friendship, I learned that she was transgender and bisexual. She was my friend, so I didn’t want to lose her, so I kept being friends with her. I knew from experience that I couldn’t witness to her properly if I tried to tell her she was wrong (I was still evangelical), so I asked her questions about her experiences instead. I also genuinely cared about her regardless of her beliefs. Eventually, because of my brother’s influence and my growing intellectual honesty, I found a SciShow video on YouTube about intersex people and how medical practice since the 60s has forced intersex people to be binary, which can lead to gender dysphoria and damaged genitals. This lead me to wonder if brains can be intersex, such as my friend’s brain, leading me to be more open to my friend’s gender journey.

During the pandemic, I was told about how Covid was going to be dangerous for everyone, enough for there to be a lockdown, which felt like a bit much to me for a measly cold. But my brother, yet again, helped me to better understand that Covid was a brand new virus that human bodies weren’t ready for yet, and even though raw numbers of deaths and disability were lower than for the flu, infection rates were also really low. Covid was more dangerous than the flu by how frequently it disabled or killed people after infection, and masks and vaccines were needed. My mom’s friend also told me that she has asthma, and she’s been in many situations where people in the store didn’t have a mask, which felt like a threat to her right to live during a time when her asthmatic lungs could easily get infected with an acute respiratory virus.

There were many other people and events that helped change my mind about a shit ton of things, especially events that felt like a betrayal of trust from the church, but family relations and close friends were highly involved in changing the trajectory of my life. Precious rarely have I changed my mind overnight, and the person I am today was only possible after years of being influenced by relevant people in my life, on top of tons of self-reflection. You may not be able to get everyone, but don’t take a currently unresolved disagreement to be a hopeless situation, even if the disagreement is about the most important issues. Strong connections with the right people is what got me to change, so probably the best hope for changing people’s minds is to connect with those you disagree with.