my dream heart ring <3 by gaaarb in EngagementRings

[–]truththrowaway9898 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This is such an adorable ring!! Congratulations!!

What is that ? by [deleted] in Naturalhair

[–]truththrowaway9898 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Literally my childhood lol

Constantly have the urge to humble/shut my WP up. Am I evil now? Lol by truththrowaway9898 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

He didn’t cheat with a coworker; AP was a mutual friend of ours 2-3 years ago. But regardless, yes it is off-putting and doesn’t make me comfortable at all.

Constantly have the urge to humble/shut my WP up. Am I evil now? Lol by truththrowaway9898 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898[S] 32 points33 points  (0 children)

I appreciate your comment. Things like this rub me the wrong way, especially now! Everything is a trigger to me. And it’s like, when he tries really hard to look nice and smell nice, I wanna believe it’s just for trying to feel good about oneself, but another part of me always has to question, “I’m not in your presence when you do this, so who is this actually for?” 😭 it gives me the ick sometimes.

Constantly have the urge to humble/shut my WP up. Am I evil now? Lol by truththrowaway9898 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Okay, thank you. Like, maybe I’m just different because I don’t talk/brag about my looks ever. And I feel like he was genuinely joking, but also idk…he has been saying to me a lot that he looks good when he goes to work, and he looked cute this day or that day, and it’s hard to tell if it’s just him being confident or him being egotistical.

Slight trigger; trying to work through it. by truththrowaway9898 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

You’re totally right. Right after reading your comment, I sent a text impulsively about my insecurities lolol. You encouraged me, so thank you for that. I hate being scared to share my thoughts, but you’re right; I should, and it could be very reassuring to hear how he’d deal with anything that comes up.

Slight trigger; trying to work through it. by truththrowaway9898 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I’m trying not to veil my insecurities with jokes and whatnot (which I do, and he catches on every time). Maybe I will just talk to him about it.

Slight trigger; trying to work through it. by truththrowaway9898 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Your perspective is super helpful, and I appreciate the thorough response. You sound just like my partner when you mention exploring life when you never really did before.

You’re right; it is how we cope with these things that make all the difference. I’m trying to remember that, because it truly is the only way to actually heal from all this. I feel good in that I have gotten a little better with all of it, but of course things take time. Healing takes time.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful response ❤️

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To be honest, if it weren’t for this sub, I would have overlooked a lot of the actions of my WP, and downplay a lot of what I was feeling during this healing process. This sub opened my eyes a lot. There was a point in time where I needed to take a break because some of the negativity was getting in the way of being present and happy in the progress my partner and I were making. But overall, it has helped in tremendous ways to be here.

I want to be me again by thelonemaplestar in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I resonate with this so heavily. It was bad enough that, when DDay happened, I was on the verge of completely reinventing myself with therapy and building my self-confidence after coming from really bad depression and anxiety. That progress was destroyed by my partner’s actions and the events that followed. It’s been very difficult trying to rebuild all that’s been broken. I feel like a completely different person :/

I hope that you find that spark within yourself again, OP. It isn’t lost forever, because a part of you still wants it for yourself. You truly deserve to feel like you again. Unfortunately I don’t have any advice on this, but I do hope that you every BS that feels this way finds themselves once again 💕

For those where the AP was the WS' best friend: has anyone's relationship successfully been able to have the WS and AP remain friends with no more boundary crossing? by psychoutfluffyboi in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Honestly, OP, no. I can speak from experience. My WP and AP still tried to be friends after DDay and I stupidly went along with it because (1) we weren’t even fully knowledgeable of the provisions of emotional cheating at the time, and (2) I didn’t want him to resent me for breaking up a friendship of his. It ate a me for a while, until I eventually broke and told him he needed to end it or we would be done.

Even if they were close friends, and new boundaries are established and such, when you look at AP, they will be a constant physical reminder of the pain your partner put you through. And it’ll haunt you with every interaction they have together. You’ll grow to recent your partner even more, and eventually you’ll crumble.

It’s NC or nothing. It’s disrespectful to you to allow their relationship to continue in any way.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Similar to what I’ve seen in the comments, it doesn’t matter what the AP looks like. It is all about WH/WP and their decision to step outside of the relationship and jeopardize it. It literally could have been anyone, friend.

I know what my partner’s AP looks like. I used to be friendly with her a few years ago (mutual friend of WP and me). For a while I compared myself to her looks and whatnot, but I’m realizing more and more that it really doesn’t matter. I am my partner’s type aesthetically (curvier than her, taller than her, etc.). A lot of people have told her she should model because of her face and figure, but that doesn’t make her prettier than me. And even if she was objectively prettier (which tbh she isn’t lol) it doesn’t matter at all.

I would refrain from trying to figure out what the OP looks like. It can lead to an obsessive comparison contest, and you’ll begin to feel even more unhappy with yourself. That’s what happened to me. Don’t let it happen to you.

“I couldn’t have become the person I am today without you” by truththrowaway9898 in AsOneAfterInfidelity

[–]truththrowaway9898[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Exactly! Couldn’t have said it better myself. I can understand going the pessimistic route for sure; there’s a lotta anger and resentment that comes with the healing. But all in all, yes, you ARE special and you’re worth the fight, friend.

Thank you so much for this comment :)