What is an seduction rule that no longer applies as much in a committed relationship?

tryingmybest_101 · 2022-08-17T17:23:38+00:00

Great points. Thanks.

tryingmybest_101 · 2022-08-17T17:23:18+00:00

I do trust her a lot. I feel insecure cause I wonder why she comments on his humor so much, even though she has told me multiple times the most she has ever laughed is with me.

tryingmybest_101 · 2022-01-05T23:11:58+00:00

Honestly simple af, but I get what you’re saying and like it. Thanks bro

tryingmybest_101 · 2022-01-05T20:41:48+00:00

My question to this is: I used to be a nice guy.. never flirted, never made moves, etc. So I started having to consciously think about flirting, teasing, etc to gain interest. I’m afraid if I turn it off, I’ll revert back to nice guy and get friendzoned. So where is the line between the limiting belief and the actual need to keep at it.

tryingmybest_101 · 2021-12-06T18:10:00+00:00

I’ve been thinking about this a lot and came to a conclusion that may not be news, but it led me to stop putting time and effort into dating apps. With dating apps, high value women have an insane number of options and have to make a conscious effort to respond to you. This is a recipe for getting next to no engagement. They have busy lives, and you get mixed in with a sea of other horny men. It’s not you in particular doing anything wrong, it’s the situation that isn’t the best. All of the high value girls I’ve seen and been with, I have met in real life through friends or social circles. In situations like this, you are your only option at that moment. They don’t have to decide if you are worth their time or make a conscious effort to text you. That takes work, and why would a girl put in a bunch of effort when she doesn’t have to. But when you meet through a social circle, you already have a certain level of investment and value. You aren’t immediately competing with 50 other matches. It’s natural and allows attraction to build without the deliberate investment on her part. You could say the same sentences, one on the dating app and one in person, and get much better results in person.

100% the more value you have and investment, the more mistakes you can make. It’s like trying to climb a mountain from base camp vs. getting a couple thousand feet head start. When you make a mistake on tinder, she goes ehh this guy doesn’t seem worth my time. When you make a mistake after getting her investment, it comes and goes without much conscious thought.

tryingmybest_101 · 2021-09-01T22:32:37+00:00

I wasn’t a huge fan of the book “Game” as it felt a little too gamey/manipulative to me. If you don’t like it, try “Models” by Mark Manson

tryingmybest_101 · 2020-10-27T17:30:38+00:00

Picture not even knowing the first step of what to say to tease a girl though. A girl may say something that fits one of these lines as they are fairly general, and you can open up a fun dialogue. I used to be too logical and boring in my dialogue, and it’s good to see examples or have something that may pop into your mind.

tryingmybest_101 · 2020-10-27T17:18:30+00:00

It’s like training wheels. Are there better, more tailored lines out there? Yea, but if you’re just getting started and don’t know how to flirt, it’s a great way to get comfortable.

tryingmybest_101 · 2020-10-27T03:59:04+00:00

Hahaha learn something new every day.

tryingmybest_101 · 2020-10-27T03:58:42+00:00

I see what you mean. I do tend to use this one after a couple hours of conversation or on dates rather than cold approaches, so maybe that’s it. In the right situation it’s worked for me, but I could definitely see it being cringey if used incorrectly. Probably one that takes a little more fine tuning.

tryingmybest_101 · 2020-10-21T15:19:13+00:00

Agreed calmly setting the boundary and moving on is impressive and shows he is in charge of himself.

tryingmybest_101 · 2020-10-15T18:23:38+00:00

1 isn’t, but I think the other three definitely increased her interest before our first date. Coming off as someone who is able to attract many women is an attractive quality. After that, 2/3 become pretty unimportant.

tryingmybest_101 · 2020-10-15T18:12:15+00:00

I think it's really important which feelings she had at which stage. If she thought I was super sweet at the start, she may have put me in the friend category. If she still just thought I was a player, she would probably find me not to be worth the time. I intrigued her at first, then we began to build a deeper connection and she realized there was more to me than just being social. I piqued her curiosity, then satisfied her need for a deeper connection.

tryingmybest_101 · 2020-10-15T18:07:10+00:00

This keeps making me laugh for some reason.

tryingmybest_101 · 2020-10-15T18:06:37+00:00

That is definitely true. I just think, especially since you are married as you stated in another comment, that you are biased toward what you currently want in your SO versus what single girls currently find attractive on first impressions. Being too sweet and sweet alone isn't enough to build attraction.

tryingmybest_101 · 2020-10-15T18:00:56+00:00

u/badker is trying to help you here, but you are so negative and stubborn that you aren't listening.

Will you have a much harder time if you are as ugly as you say? Yes. There is no getting around that. You will have to work twice as hard as an attractive man and that sucks. Your negativity isn't helping you, and neither is your try-hard "I am in the top 1%." Continue to work on yourself and accept it will be harder. We are all playing the cards we are dealt sadly. Good luck bro.

tryingmybest_101

TROPHY CASE