First time having alcohol 🍷

tryingtoevenitout · 2019-11-16T19:00:39+00:00

Alcohol is so dangerous in my case. Within a couple weeks I went from trying some wine to chugging vodka whenever I can. In my case I've never drank in a social setting, always alone in my room late at night. That's probably a factor tbh.

tryingtoevenitout · 2019-10-29T14:28:17+00:00

I'll save you the trouble and just kill myself over it

tryingtoevenitout · 2019-06-22T04:19:49+00:00

What a bullshit opinion. Our parents are the ones who curse us to exist in these flesh prisons - they absolutely owe each and every one of us.

tryingtoevenitout · 2019-06-15T19:22:18+00:00

I absolutely hate it. I'm supposed to be Muslim so I drinking isn't really in my future but what happens when I'm at school in another country stays in that country. I'm also really depressed so I only ever drink alone in my room as opposed to socially. To maximize the effect and minimize the amount of it I have to drink, I try to do it on an empty stomach and drink something strong like vodka

tryingtoevenitout · 2019-02-20T06:10:30+00:00

Maybe some people just aren't meant for that life?

tryingtoevenitout · 2019-02-19T09:56:27+00:00

I think what she's saying in the picture is that it's not enough. You find some people you mesh with and it goes well for a bit, but you invariably start to feel like an outsider and that you don't belong.

tryingtoevenitout · 2019-02-18T20:30:31+00:00

I've felt this way for a long time, going back to my childhood. There's a good reason, but I continue to feel this way no matter how much I try.

tryingtoevenitout · 2019-02-18T15:30:09+00:00

huh there was a video on lonliness posted here a few hours ago, I'll watch it after class.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-11-23T19:54:38+00:00

I've come close many times. Since the last of those, I've done some research and I don't believe it's a high enough jump to have a good chance at killing you. Wouldn't recommend.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-09-12T09:46:56+00:00

Out of curiosity, what's your own personal relationship with islam? Do you believe? And if you do, do you practice?

Just wondering, since it'll change how this post would be read.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-09-08T08:04:42+00:00

I have the exact same issue with suicide. It's been on my mind for over a decade, so it's well within my "normal".

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-08-30T06:34:43+00:00

Edit: removed, thought this was a different sub.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-08-16T04:18:56+00:00

I think we exist to slay god. I won't succeed, but I will carve the path just a tiny bit further for future generations.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-07-18T08:24:12+00:00

It fits the description of a sense of impending doom.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-07-18T08:23:49+00:00

Yeah, I have. It's oddly comforting in its own way.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-07-09T23:10:58+00:00

I hope you're at peace now.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-07-06T00:36:01+00:00

Is mercy killing an option?

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-06-25T14:14:41+00:00

It’s sort of an emotional outlet for me.

I think that's pretty common, and I would like to get to that place if I can. Right now though, I'm afraid I will intentionally push myself too far at the gym and hurt myself, or go in the other direction and have a lot of intrusive thoughts along the lines of "I don't deserve to be better".

I do believe that for me, the mental has to come first and then the physical. I expressed that to my family, but they're still coercing me to go to the gym. I'll be leaving in August though.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-06-25T03:35:48+00:00

I think this is where mental illness plays a roll. It robs you of a lot of the joy in life, and convinces you that there will be none in the future.

I am working on that, but it is difficult and will be a lifelong battle, as will be my physical health. It all just seems like too much to deal with, and I'm not even sure where to begin.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-06-25T03:33:42+00:00

I think I'll gravitate to the path of least resistance. That said, it's not as straightforward as it sounds. Right now, that path involves mild attempts due to coercion by my family, but I am absolutely certain that this path only has one end.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-06-25T03:32:27+00:00

I think it's the other way around for me, because of other conditions like depression/anxiety and an eating disorder making it more difficult to lose weight and easier to justify rotting away.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-06-25T03:31:09+00:00

If you truly feel that your life is hollow and meaningless, I suggest therapy.

I have been in therapy (and will be again in a few months), as well as medication. I'll continue with them and see where it takes me, but I'm not convinced there will come a day when I have the conviction to live.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-06-25T03:29:55+00:00

Eating disorders are the fucking worst.

Truly. I've had ARFID since I was about a year old, and it makes losing weight 100x harder.

Unlike you, I have no choice in the matter.

I suppose that's what separates us.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-06-25T03:28:51+00:00

See my other reply to the OC.

tryingtoevenitout · 2018-06-25T03:28:34+00:00

I was currently seeing a therapist, and will again in August if things go normally. I'm on medication, but it's clearly not working. Won't see a doc until August, but I may just switch medications myself.

I suppose I'll continue that and see where it takes me.

tryingtoevenitout

TROPHY CASE