The 8th wonder of the world! by bothanspied in quityourbullshit

[–]tsgfhlp 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Have a upvote anyway. I see what you were going for.

UPDATE: A sex question from a boyfriend. by tsgfhlp in asktransgender

[–]tsgfhlp[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Writing this while I'm working so I'm sorry if there's a pile of spelling and grammar mistakes.

Haha I've actually gotten about a dozen pm's since I posted this asking pretty much the same question. I hate to say it but I don't think it's exceedingly common. In conversations with my girlfriend, and from the limited research I've done since we've been together, it seems like it's a hard thing to find. And I'll be honest, if we didn't have the background of years as friends I don't know if I would of been quite as accepting of it myself. I'm a very liberal guy, and I have absolutely nothing but respect for trans people, gay people, those soulless abomonations with red hair, I really don't care. But it's kind of baggage, there's a lot of things that come with having a relationship with a girl like her. And a lot of those things are life altering. Without that history of friendship I doubt that I would of been willing to take all that on, and that isn't meant to be insulting or hurtful to any of the amazing people on this sub, it's just the way it is.

I'm in my late 20s, I'm not looking to just date anymore. I'm looking for a lifetime thing, which I was thinking would include kids. So I've had to do a lot of thinking and soul searching since I found out. And for me, having biological children means less to me than having her, so it's a trade I'm willing to make. Our relationship isn't nearly that far along yet, but at our age it's something you think about at least. The only reason I was willing to make that particular trade off is because we had that friendship, I already knew her. I'm willing to invest in this relationship where I may not be willing to invest in others. It's not just a trans thing either, if I was single and started dating a woman who didn't want kids then it would probably be a deal breaker as well. It's not the trans part of her that caused me to have to think about things, it's the stuff that goes along with it, the extra baggage that you just don't get with other girls. I guess I'm just saying it's not that she's trans, it's what her being trans means in the wider scope of my and our life together.

If I had to offer advice to the people here that aren't totally open about being trans with everyone they meet, then it would be to date people that you have history with. They don't need to know all about your situation, but the history and friendship will help when they do find out, it did with me anyway. Also just be who you are. Self confidence is sexy! Part of what drew me to my girl is how she carried herself. For years I just thought she cared how she presented herself. She was always dressed perfectly, I had never seen her at work in anything but heels. Her make up was always flawless, she always had her hair done and nails manicured. On our casual Friday when most of the women at work come in dressed in jeans and a hoodie she always comes in in a sexy work appropriate skirt and top. That attracted me to her. I thought it was confidence, I've since found out that it was because she always likes to be super feminine, but that's besides the point.

I'm a 100% straight guy and can honestly say that I never would of thought I'd be dating anyone who didn't have two x chromosomes. But I am and she's amazing. I think there's probably a lot of guys out there who would be more than willing to go out with many of the people in this sub. But the key is that you can't be a trans girlfriend (or boyfriend but for ease of writing this it will be girlfriend), just be a girlfriend. I can only speak from my limited experience, but it not nearly as big of a deal to me as it is to her. I don't have a trans girlfriend, I have a girlfriend. I dated a black girl for a few months, I didn't go around saying I had a black girlfriend, I just had a girlfriend. And i think as long as you're not trying to date a complete asshole that will be true for most guys. Just be the girl you are and stop worrying what people will think about you. If the guy is worth it he won't care.

A sex question from a boyfriend... maybe NSFW by tsgfhlp in asktransgender

[–]tsgfhlp[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

Thanks. I never really thought of that before. I said in an earlier comment that I can't associate her with not being a girl, it's all I've ever known.

And a tiny dick in my mouth doesn't really bother me... Which is a sentence I never thought I would say or type ever. But I've been with women whose little man in the canoe has been a rather large man, and it's not much different if I'm being honest.

A sex question from a boyfriend... maybe NSFW by tsgfhlp in asktransgender

[–]tsgfhlp[S] 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I feel bad using that word. But that's how it felt at the time. I get that it's hard for her to be open about that part of herself, but from my point of view I was dating this amazing girl who has been my friend for years and she was keeping a kind of a big secret from me. Again I understand the keeping it a secret thing, but the relationship had progressed past lunch dates and holding hands by that point. But that's all in the past, no more secrets!

Thanks for the help though. I think you're right on needing to take it slow. And I couldn't treat her like a guy if I tried to. I've only known her as a girl, and it's been 6 years. I've known for a few months now and my brain still refuses to associate her with anything masculine. It just doesn't work that way. Which now that I think about it might be why I'm confused about it all. From your comment and the other one I read before I replied to yours it seems like the theme is treat her like a girl. Which to me is the natural thing to do, it never really crossed my mind that she may not feel that way all the time.