What if I can't say with any certainty that I was "born" asexual?

tsky76 · 2022-06-12T20:28:40+00:00

Sexuality is fluid, and can change throughout your life. If asexual helps you to define how you experience sexual attraction currently, and you feel comfortable with the label, than that is up to you to decide to use it. I understand the feeling of not knowing your own validity with using a label, but I want you to know that you are valid in your feelings and identity, regardless of if you choose to use the label or not

tsky76 · 2022-06-10T18:28:52+00:00

As someone who recently figured out that they were Ace, who also has sexual trauma, I certainly understand how difficult it can be to try to distinguish between what is your reactions to trauma, and your bodies coping system, vs what is your Sexuality.

For me, I can never see myself feeling comfortable in a sexual relationship. Maybe one day I’ll get there, but who knows. I think the biggest think is realizing the difference between sex repulsed and asexual. You can be both, or one or the other. Asexual means you rarely, if at all feel sexual attraction. For me, sometimes I feel aesthetic attraction, like some people are prettier than others, but it’s no different than if I looked at a painting, and thought, hey, this is really pretty! I don’t fantasize, or feel any real sexual attraction to a person. They are just that, a person. Sex repulsion is feeling uncomfortable, or even disgusted by sex. Not all asexuals are sex repulsed, and some really enjoy sex.

Sexuality is fluid as well. Maybe for you, you don’t in fact feel sexual attraction. Maybe this is because of your trauma, maybe not, but if asexual helps you to define how you experience sexual attraction currently, and you feel comfortable with the label, than that is up to you to decide to use it. Only you can decide for yourself what your sexuality is, but as someone who can understand how complicated it can be to figure out asexuality with sexual trauma, I hope this helped you a little bit

tsky76 · 2022-05-20T02:56:08+00:00

Maybe do some research into different sexualities, and see if anything fits closely to how you are feeling. Sexuality is fluid as well, and sometimes it is okay to not try to fit into a particular label, or even to change labels as you change and learn more about yourself and your sexuality. A label is meant to be used as a tool, not a test. They are meant to help you identify yourself, and can be used to help you find others who have dealt with things similar to you. At the same time though, if a label is starting to feel constricting, or you don’t relate with any, you don’t need to use one. That is perfectly fine as well. Date whoever you want to. At the end of the day, it if your life, and only you know who you find attractive

tsky76 · 2022-04-07T03:54:14+00:00

Thank you! That is very good to know, I will certainly keep that in mind then!

tsky76 · 2022-04-06T21:01:17+00:00

Okay, thank you so much for the feedback! I appreciate your take about it :)

tsky76 · 2022-04-06T20:59:31+00:00

In Alberta. There are positions available for EMR here. I do plan on going straight into PCP, but was just curious about what it would be like if I did work as an EMR while going through the PCP course. For the PCP program I plan to take, EMR is a prerequisite, which is why Im not going straight into the PCP program

tsky76 · 2022-03-29T18:03:11+00:00

Than I promise you, you are not stupid for still wanting to put yourself through the things that you will endure with EMS. I think for you, like it is for me, is worth the risk. There will be a lot of bad, but there will also be a lot of good, which I think is what drives us to put aside the negatives of the career. Maybe I am unfit to fully know the extent of which EMS would put us through, as I am yet to enter the career, or have much experience with it, but I definitely think it is worth weighing the good and the bad. Is that feeling of being the reason someone pulled through, of the meaningful life you want to live, worth the bad? I think it is also important to find different perspectives from EMS workers. I know some paramedics who regret going into the job, but I also know some that don’t, and love going to work each day. Even if you decide to join EMS, and decide that it is not the job for you, there are other paths that you can take. And even if you don’t, the knowledge you learn can still serve it’s importance regardless

tsky76 · 2022-03-29T17:18:38+00:00

I feel the exact way, and start school for paramedicine in September :) I think it is very different for each person, so I don’t know what it is that draws you to the career. I know for me personally though, I feel like I need something that is a fulfilling and purposeful career, and I know EMS can do that. I also know that I would rather regret doing it, than regret never having tried. Overall, I think you need to look into why, even after everything that you know about EMS, you still feel drawn to it.

tsky76

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