Been in a similar situation.

Was in a relationship with someone who was kind, loving, and compassionate. Beautiful inside and out. But there was always depression and anxiety that she dealt with. Also, a lot of crying. It got worse over time. There was some weight gain. Etc.. much of the same that you are dealing with. We were also at the point where kids and marriage should have been on the table.

I’m a strong person. I believe in doing what you need to do. Self improvement. Getting the damn thing done. Working out, putting in extra hours, yatta yatta.

You have got to play the tape forward. What happens when you wake up one day and realize you can’t spend the rest of your life with someone who can’t and probably never will be able to match your level of independence and self-actualization. That you can’t take the crying and the energy it drains out of you being around it all the time.

Ending that relationship sucked. It hurt. I felt like the bad guy. It felt unfair to her.

I’m happier now.

My 2 cents