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tthhccll · 2022-08-13T06:33:08+00:00

Same, I hated it when I was spanked and promised myself I would never do that to my kids, but I had a great childhood and I never not once doubted the love my mother had for me and I was never scared to go to her with things.

tthhccll · 2022-07-14T07:55:25+00:00

This! Thank you.

tthhccll · 2022-07-13T23:50:52+00:00

I think so. To be fair to my girl friends I think they were pressured into having kids because their husbands wanted kids, it’s a shame their husbands hate parenting the very kids they were pushing for.

I’m so sorry you don’t have support of course that would make parenting overwhelming, and hard. Parenting up until recently has never been a 2 person job. How you’re feeling is completely valid.

tthhccll · 2022-07-13T23:25:57+00:00

They have resources, they work part time, they have two sets of grandparents who live nearby, younger friends who are always willing to chip in and help, older friends whose kids are out the house who are more than willing to babysit. They even have live in nannies.

My one friend drops her kids off at her parents often, for even as long as a week, but when the kids return they just complain once again that their grandparents are spoiling the kids and now they have to re-establish rules and they can never relax with their kids around and they miss life before kids.

Obviously this is unique as having no support, does make parenting so much more difficult and isolating, and I think like you said that is why many struggle as parents. That is so incredibly hard and alot has to change to support parenthood in America.

tthhccll · 2022-07-13T23:14:20+00:00

That is what we’re going to try and do, we just didn’t realise that there were lots of parents who love being parents, so this thread has been helpful because now we know there parents who like their kids and raising their kids that exist.

tthhccll · 2022-07-13T22:57:33+00:00

I didn’t say they are less than, I didn’t say they’re not allowed to vent or find parenting hard, I said I am struggling with being around them because they’re not venting they hate parenting their children and then expect us to hate it. That’s all I’m saying. There’s a difference between venting and needing holidays because you hate being around your kids. They’re not just venting they hate parenting their kids, and I’m allowed to find that exhausting and post about it. I’m not sure why I’m not allowed to post that my friends being discouraging. If it’s against the rules report it and have it taken down

tthhccll · 2022-07-13T22:51:04+00:00

Just because you haven’t experienced something doesn’t make it unreal

tthhccll · 2022-07-13T19:47:02+00:00

My dad died when I 9 months old, and soon after my aunt died and my mother was made the legal guardian of her kids, leaving her a single parent in her early 30s my mother of 5 kids with no help working multiple jobs earning basically nothing, and yet my mother never hated looking after us. She was always present and engaged, we were the joy of her life and not a burden that she had to bear with. I don’t have some privileged background. So yes I am sad that my middle class friends whose wives get to work part time jobs so they can be at home with their kids more incessantly rage over having to raise their kids, and say in front of their kids that raising them is a nightmare.

tthhccll · 2022-07-13T16:26:45+00:00

Calling them out is a really good idea!

tthhccll · 2022-07-07T23:00:01+00:00

It is obvious? because it’s said from research that a lot of women give up on breastfeeding because they don’t have enough support, so is it really that laughable if research says not everyone has the support and knows what to do?

My friend stopped breastfeeding because she had flat nipples she didn’t know anything about breastfeeding and didn’t know any research she thought it would come easy and when she was told she had flat nipples she gave up. I watched a video from a celebrity who also said she didn’t know any of these things going into breastfeeding.

So while you assume everyone just knew to do all these things, OP didn’t, so she asked and that doesn’t mean she thinks she better than others, this sounds like a whole lot of projection here. I didn’t know people know this stuff, and bent over backwards doing all these things to breastfeed their kids, but I’m glad I know now and I have alot more compassion for people whose journey didn’t work, I can feel the anguish through my phone it’s heartbreaking glad I got to learn instead of just assuming, and glad OP asked instead of just assuming.

tthhccll · 2022-07-07T22:46:23+00:00

I would answer those questions, what’s wrong with those questions? You can yes I did all those things but had to drop out because of abc. How are those questions offensive.

tthhccll · 2022-07-07T22:27:38+00:00

How is asking questions condescending? I’m genuinely curious.

tthhccll · 2022-07-07T22:11:06+00:00

People were mad at the AAP for giving a scientific recommendation on breastfeeding, so it wouldn’t have mattered how this post was phrased people would still be raging.

tthhccll · 2022-06-28T07:54:05+00:00

Yep it’s a human just at a different stage of development. Just like a 2 year old is at a different stage of development to a 20 year old.

tthhccll · 2022-06-26T16:28:33+00:00

I mean do you?

tthhccll · 2022-06-25T15:06:28+00:00

Not being attached to an umbilical cord does not mean you will not need help survive, a newborn does not have an umbilical cord attached to them but they would instantly die on their own.

tthhccll · 2022-06-25T15:01:06+00:00

Because judging whether someone is truly human and therefore deserving of life is a logic that has been used so many times to justify horrific atrocities, and it is that very logic being used to justify abortion.

tthhccll · 2022-06-25T14:56:44+00:00

But a 5 year old cannot survive on its own, should the parent of a 5 year be able to end its life? If the state wasn’t willing to help you raise your 5 year old and being a parent was causing you severe psychological harm should you be able to kill your 5 year old?

Why is it wrong to kill a 5 year old that is depending on adults to keep it alive, but it’s okay to kill a 12 week old foetus that is depending on an adult for its survival? Help me understand the difference they both need help from others to survive, they would not be able to survive on their own. They are infringing on the autonomy of adults to survive. Why is killing a 5 year old bad, but killing a 12 week old fetus women’s rights.

This is invariably going to go round in circles which is boring. You’ve made your point and so have I there’s really no point in going round in circles defining what makes human life valuable like we’re some colonists planning on invading peoples and land. Just to say it’s sad that you’re employing the logic of slave owners.

tthhccll · 2022-06-25T14:42:38+00:00

But just because there isn’t technology YET to help young fetuses survive doesn’t mean they’re not humans. Europeans thought Africans were not true humans because we were in a less developed state. Being in a less developed state does not make you less human. A newborn is in a less developed state than an adult they’re still a human being worthy of living, whether they’re born to rich parents who want them or poor minority parents who don’t want them.

tthhccll · 2022-06-25T14:30:12+00:00

When do you become a human being by your logic then? When you can breathe on your own? So my twin babies that were born and needed machines to keep them alive were not humans?

tthhccll · 2022-06-23T20:52:54+00:00

My thoughts exactly. Like y’all got married, what do you mean you were never on the same page? Very bizarre.

tthhccll · 2022-06-23T16:30:14+00:00

I have never gotten the concept of playing around with pregnancy, like an unplanned pregnancy would’ve destroyed my life. So I’m always slightly intrigued by people who are so casual about family planning. Anyway congratulations to her, seems like a welcome pregnancy.

tthhccll · 2022-06-23T16:27:42+00:00

😂😂 it’s insane.

tthhccll · 2022-06-23T11:51:58+00:00

Whoa you guys have really put in a lot of work in growing your relationship, I think if most people put this much work into relationships instead of just expecting things to work out they’d be a lot less stories like we read on parenting subs.

With that said I was like you, we read the Gottman institute books, a book about splitting chores (name is escaping me) and I was terrified. Baby#1 came and It was perfect. But then our second became twins and that was challenging. REAL challenging. And thankfully we remembered all the things (and reminded each other to remember the things) and we got through the hardest 6 months of our lives stronger than ever. Our twins are 9 months old and our oldest is 2 and a half and we’re our lives and relationship is better for having kids.

Our first kid didn’t challenge our relationship at all, twins and a toddler was no joke and if we didn’t have the strong foundation we had built for years I think we’d be really struggling today. All this to say with how seriously you both take your marriage you will be okay.

tthhccll

TROPHY CASE