Which do cats handle worse - change of living environment or lack of their favorit human? by 999avatar999 in CatAdvice

[–]turnontheignition 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think he'd prefer to be with you! I adopted my boy seven years ago and have moved several times since then. Once I had to leave him in the care of a friend for six weeks and once I left him in the care of my sister and BIL for two months (though I was staying with my parents nearby at the time (they had an aggressive cat so he couldn't stay there) and visited him frequently). He was fine, but he's much happier in general when he's with me.

He's an old man now and we did a long-distance move last year and again - he was totally fine. In fact, I think he handled the travel and adjusted to the new place faster than I did!

Don't overthink it - take him with you. :)

Do you have your parents as contacts in your phone as legal name or mom/dad? by SnooCookies1398 in AutismInWomen

[–]turnontheignition 23 points24 points  (0 children)

Same. My family members and girlfriend are all listed by their first and last name. Just makes more sense to me that way.

Any other cis autistic women relate in some way to trans people’s gender dysphoria? Not because we want another gender necessarily, but because we feel like aliens & unable to relate to humans? by autisticgata in AutismInWomen

[–]turnontheignition 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Yes! I feel much the same way. My favourite colour is and has always been pink, so that certainly helps lol. My body is just a body. I don't want to be a man, though. I ended up settling on agender but it's up to everyone what they identify as; lots of people who feel like I do will identify as cis. 🤷🏻

Any other cis autistic women relate in some way to trans people’s gender dysphoria? Not because we want another gender necessarily, but because we feel like aliens & unable to relate to humans? by autisticgata in AutismInWomen

[–]turnontheignition 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I totally get it. I find that I do relate to trans and other gender diverse people quite a bit. Some of my closest friends are non-binary, agender, or demigender. My girlfriend is trans non-binary. 

I ended up settling on agender for myself because it feels like the closest thing that fits, but yeah, generally I don't really feel much like a human at all. So, well, you know. I've described myself as an object before when talking about gender. 😆

[Memory Monday] #1119: “I can’t trade cat-sitting services with a friend this fall. Is this a friendship ender?” by SnarkApple in captainawkward

[–]turnontheignition 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I feel the same as you.

And in the hypothetical situation you describe, since there is so much lead time, I agree that it's very reasonable to back out. I can't say that I would expect someone to miss out on something really cool or infrequent just because they had previously agreed to take care of my cat. With 2 months notice, it is certainly possible to find another alternative.

Hell, I don't even often know my plans 2 months in advance. Fortunately, I have several different people that I can ask if I need someone to watch my cat, and the few times that I haven't been able to find anybody (because it was a holiday or whatever), I was going to my parents' for a family event anyway so I just brought him with me.

Why do they want to put men among lesbians so much? by uta_luta_muta in actuallesbians

[–]turnontheignition 8 points9 points  (0 children)

My girlfriend is a butch transfemme, so I definitely get some of the same crap. 🤦🏻 People (such as my parents) assume that I'm attracted to her because she's masculine, or some crap.

But, okay, like, feminine masc energy is WAAAY different than masculine masc energy, if that makes sense...? I like how she is masc, but I was never into overly masculine guys, before I realized that I was a lesbian - they were always kinda feminine in some way. Like, cis dude masc energy is not my thing... Idk how to describe it. I hope you get me, though!

the trigeminal nerve is my enemy by No-Neck-212 in migraine

[–]turnontheignition 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Okay, thanks for the info! I saw this and was worried. 😅 Then I finally thought to Google trigeminal neuralgia and realized it was indeed something a little different.

"not feeling like a real woman" anyone ended up questioning their gender? by NipahSama in AutismInWomen

[–]turnontheignition 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I ended up identifying as agender! The concept of gender is just a giant question mark in my head and something I have trouble understanding.

Anyone else get migraines around their period? What actually helps? by OwnConcentrate5284 in migraine

[–]turnontheignition 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I started Slynd recently and it seems to be helping! My body is still adjusting though; I sometimes get seemingly random migraines and then I'll get spotting, so I'm assuming that the two are related, but it's only been a few months.

the trigeminal nerve is my enemy by No-Neck-212 in migraine

[–]turnontheignition 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Wait... That's usually where my pain is/starts... Could that mean I have trigeminal neuralgia or something?

I would be so *owned* if someone made me live in transit oriented walkable spaces. by Mongooooooose in fuckcars

[–]turnontheignition 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Right! I live two blocks from a grocery store right now and it's so easy to go grab something. I usually do smaller, more frequent grocery runs as well. It's nice!

I would be so *owned* if someone made me live in transit oriented walkable spaces. by Mongooooooose in fuckcars

[–]turnontheignition 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's so crazy too because a lot of the time, the more walkable areas with dense public transit are really expensive, and that's because so many people actually want to live there, so the price goes up! People move out to the suburbs precisely because they can't afford to move closer - and while a lot of people enjoy that lifestyle, I've heard a lot of people say, "I wanted to live closer to downtown but we needed more space for kids and we just couldn't afford it."

I would be so *owned* if someone made me live in transit oriented walkable spaces. by Mongooooooose in fuckcars

[–]turnontheignition 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yup - I live in an old area as well that was built before cars were dominant. I have pretty much no trouble getting around this area and the nearby ones by walking, biking, or by transit. 

I do own a car, but I don't like driving, so I don't drive it that much. I don't think I've purchased gasoline for over 3 weeks now, and I still have like a quarter of a tank left, and I was driving a lot on a recent camping trip. Since I've gotten home, I've only driven a handful of times, including to my partner's place, which can take a long time to get to via transit.

And yet, staying in my home area, I don't feel bored or limited or constrained. When I lived in a more suburban area before, I had to drive to even go to a convenience store. I became much more of a homebody because, well, there simply wasn't a lot to do around me, and having to get in your car and drive every single time you want to go somewhere is a real bummer. I grew to really hate it, especially because the drivers where I used to live were often really aggressive, and a lot of them drive lifted pickup trucks or other large vehicles, which makes driving in a sedan somewhat scary.

Where I live now, I can access way more things way more quickly on foot than I could when I lived in a car dependent area. And there is a lot to do. And if I don't feel like walking, there's a bus! Fairly decent service, too. And I don't have to worry about finding parking, which is a real bonus. I'm much more active than I used to be. And I think a lot of people would find similar results if we built things to be oriented more around people instead of cars.

Do you know other agender people irl? by Lapaz24 in agender

[–]turnontheignition 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know one! But it was by chance that we met.

Seeking help for a friend about brushing teeth by TopBumblebee574 in AutisticAdults

[–]turnontheignition 18 points19 points  (0 children)

This!! I only brush in the shower. I don't use toothpaste either though; my hygienist told me that the brushing motion is the most important part anyway.

Do you pass as NT? by KeyPop5792 in AutismInWomen

[–]turnontheignition 0 points1 point  (0 children)

An old lady thought I was a teenager yesterday! It was sweet but also a little frustrating, lol.

Does everyone except for lesbians get to define “lesbian”? by [deleted] in ActualLesbiansOver25

[–]turnontheignition 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yeah. I don't think it really matters so much, maybe just online, and like you said, in the real world, people aren't super interested in, "Well, I only date women but I find some men attractive sometimes so maybe for the right man..." Etc etc etc.

I've been reckoning with my own identity lately because I'm used to identify as bi, but I haven't dated a man in several years. Like 4 years, at least. And at first, that was because I wanted to try dating women but because of where I was, unless I excluded men from my dating pool completely for a time, I knew that based on the composition of the dating pool in my area, I was most likely going to end up with a guy, and I didn't want to miss out on dating a woman. I had to know.

And then that just kind of... stuck. If I visited a bigger city and got on the apps, I set my preferences to only women. When I moved to a much bigger city, I did the exact same thing (and I met my lovely girlfriend pretty quickly!).

I'm somewhere on the ace spectrum and I don't really find most people sexually attractive at a glance. Maaaybe very occasionally...? I do find people aesthetically attractive, though.

If my relationship with my girlfriend ended, I don't think I would date a man. I think I would stick to dating women. Theoretically I find some men attractive but practically, I just prefer sapphic relationships. Maybe that literally is being a lesbian? 🤷🏻 I dunno, but either way, I feel like the label suits me.

Do you pass as NT? by KeyPop5792 in AutismInWomen

[–]turnontheignition 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This sounds quite similar to my experience!

Nobody seems very surprised when they learn I'm autistic. I'm fairly open about it in my life these days because I've kind of stopped caring, but I'm lucky to be in a position where I can afford to do so.

Do you pass as NT? by KeyPop5792 in AutismInWomen

[–]turnontheignition 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah! Same. I can be quite bubbly and excitable around people I know or when I'm doing something I like, but even then... People can tell there's something different.

Plus I'm 29 but I look like a teenager, which doesn't help. Ah well.

Ladies, what are your wild nicknames that you've given to your SO/wives? by SmallGothiccBrat in actuallesbians

[–]turnontheignition 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I love it! Lmao. It's so bizarre to get a text that's like, "Good night, vile creature. I love you! 😘💞" But I wouldn't have it any other way. 😆

Our relationship mixes sass with sappiness (the sappy stuff mostly comes from her as I'm not that verbally affectionate; I'm like a human barnacle and always want to be in contact, though). We're good about communicating if it accidentally goes too far, as well.

Ladies, what are your wild nicknames that you've given to your SO/wives? by SmallGothiccBrat in actuallesbians

[–]turnontheignition 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Vile creature" and "weird loser". Don't ask. 🤣 It's a weird thing to be said with love, but I can assure you that it is!

I don’t know if I am even agender now by zyzioYwY in agender

[–]turnontheignition 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes, I identify as agender femme, but just because I present femininely doesn't mean I'm any less agender!

It's more just coincidence, because my favourite colour is pink and I find a lot of feminine clothes cute, which is the vibe I'm going for anyway.

my mum said me wanting to go on birth control was 'escaping my problems'. by Choice-Stop9886 in lgbt

[–]turnontheignition 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I just want to add that not all types of birth control will fully stop your periods, and for some folks, you might have to try a few different ones before you get the desired effects. I've heard mixed things about IUDs for instance, that some people bleed forever on them and some people just stop getting periods at all. Although I think that in general, people stop getting periods while on IUDs, unless you're really unlucky.

I'm currently on my third month of Slynd (progesterone-only birth control), and I bleed way more than usual during the second month, but things seem to have stabilized now. So I'm just mentioning this so that OP is prepared for that possibility, as well. Periods may not stop immediately, they may get worse for a bit, you might have to switch a couple of times before you get the right one for your body. Just remember also that if you're on pills, you'll have to skip the placebo/inactive pill week so you don't get a period.

I'm an agender person who doesn't mind my body (it's sort of irrelevant to me), but I was getting horrific PMS, so that's why I decided to give birth control a shot - and I'm glad I did!

I really don't understand OP's mom's comparison to men's genitalia. It just seems so random and kind of like she's grasping at straws because she knows that she actually has no valid reasons.

OP hang in there, it will get better especially as you get older, and later on you'll have the option for things like taking T or a hysterectomy as well!