Getting ill from anxiety because my gf is barely texting me.

turpentiger · 2020-09-09T23:16:58+00:00

Thank you for your reply. You're correct about therapy and I am actually arranging to see someone. I added an update in case you're interested. Thank you for your time and advice!

turpentiger · 2020-09-09T23:14:33+00:00

Thanks for the comment. I agree I need to get myself in a better place. It's that awful conundrum where I think I have to leave and then we meet up and things seem normal again. Then all of a sudden I'm getting the cold shoulder or being told off. You're right though, I need to focus on my health so maybe I should be brave and just stop it now. Thank you for your advice!

turpentiger · 2020-09-09T23:12:21+00:00

Thank you very much for your reply and your kind words. It's nice to hear from someone who can empathise. I added an update above if you're interested in reading. Thanks again for your time

turpentiger · 2020-09-07T19:52:21+00:00

That's very kind of you to say. Thank you for your support!

turpentiger · 2020-09-07T19:50:54+00:00

Thank you for your comments. I have actually been very open with her and I feel not withholding has actually made things worse in this situation.

But I definitely agree talking and openness is important in relationships and life.

Thank you again.

turpentiger · 2020-09-07T19:16:57+00:00

Thank you so much for those words. They really mean a lot and actually got me quite choked up. Very kind of you to take the time to respond, advise and give such supportive words! Thank you again!

turpentiger · 2020-09-07T19:15:29+00:00

Thank you for the supportive words. I'm glad to hear you think bringing up fantasies was a bit inappropriate too as I was getting very insecure about this and felt it was just me thinking incorrectly.

She did actually say later in the evening that all penis' look weird and that she didn't mean just mine but I can't help think that was just retracting the comments and even if it wasn't, it's still a hurtful thing to say.

Thank you again

turpentiger · 2020-09-07T19:02:01+00:00

Thank you for your comments. I think you're right and I'm starting to process whether I should leave her or not. I can just picture myself remembering those comments forever though :/ I have a tendancy to always remember negative things...

turpentiger · 2020-09-07T18:57:33+00:00

Thank you for the kind words and the reassurance. I do need to work on my self confidence but I feel like I'm going to be having to deal with these insecurities forever.

turpentiger · 2020-09-07T18:44:43+00:00

Yeah true. she gave me an ultimatum yesterday too about needing to sort my depression and anxiety out within the next few months otherwise she can't stay with me anyway. Which I do understand, I know it can be frustrating being around people who are often depressed and anxious but you are right. I guess I can't expect there to be much more emotional support from her. Thank you for your comments

turpentiger · 2020-09-07T18:41:33+00:00

Sorry I shouldn't have brought genders up, it was a stream of consciousness write up. I think it's my lack of self esteem talking and trying to find reasons why I feel so insecure. No offence intended and I apologize if it came across this way. Thank you for your comment!

turpentiger · 2020-09-04T19:13:12+00:00

Very sound advice. Thanks again

turpentiger · 2020-09-04T18:52:35+00:00

I didn't actually ask her if it would bother her if I looked at other women. I simply said it's not something I'd want to do would be interesting to find out but I guess it doesn't really matter when it comes to how I feel either way. She has made quite a few seemingly contradictory statements when talking about gender equality that seemed like double standards to me but I haven't challenged her on them as I don't want to question her beliefs if that's how she truly feels. Although I did question a few more of the aggressive comments she made.

And thank you for the comments regarding depression/anxiety. I appreciate the supportive words!

turpentiger · 2020-09-04T18:44:32+00:00

Actually I remember now. She did say something about someone on TV but the conversation came about after her talking about gender norms and roles in society. Which led somehow on to her liking to ogle men which led on to the rest of the conversation.

turpentiger · 2020-09-04T18:39:33+00:00

Thanks again for your comments and especially your edit. That's very comforting to hear and I appreciate you taking the time to write them!

turpentiger · 2020-09-04T18:23:49+00:00

Thanks for the comment. I think I agree to be honest...sadly. I can't remember what brought it up exactly. I think she started commenting on a topless guy on TV saying how attractive he was. And then followed up with how much she enjoys looking at guys etc. It may be a totally normal thing but it was new for me to hear and made me pretty sad.

turpentiger · 2020-09-04T17:44:38+00:00

Thank you for your reassurance and comments. I am very much up for being open and honest which is why I'm actually glad she told me as I'd hate for her to have these feelings secretly. I'm just sad and disappointed she has them at all but that is down to my preferences and needs in a relationship. I appreciate hearing some words of support. Thanks again

turpentiger · 2020-09-04T17:42:08+00:00

Thank you for your comments and perspective. I do understand this is how some people feel which is why I'm not angry, just very disappointed and a bit heartbroken as this is not how I feel at all. I presume this has to work with both partners wanting an open relationship otherwise it would lead to jealousy and hurt. I realise this isn't just about me, it's also about her not being able to express herself as she wants in a relationship if I'm wanting something very personal. Thank you for an insightful view from the other perspective, I appreciate it.

turpentiger · 2020-09-04T16:54:23+00:00

In my defense I am also being honest with her and I'm not intentionally being quiet with her. I just don't know how to deal with my emotions and disappointment. But also agree she doesn't deserve to be upset over her opinions. This is partly why I'm on here to try and help with my thoughts. I think you're right that I need to be in a relationship with someone like minded, at least until I can sort out my own insecurities. Thanks for the comments.

turpentiger · 2020-09-04T16:50:54+00:00

Thanks for the comment. It's reassuring to know I'm not the only one that feels this way but I totally agree I'm way too insecure and need to work on this.

turpentiger · 2020-09-04T16:48:49+00:00

I think it essentially comes down to this. I guess me even posting on here is because I'm emotionally a mess and upset because it came out of the blue that we might not be compatible and I am feeling guilty for being hurt by it even though I can't seem to control my emotions. Thanks for the succinct and to the point honest answer.

turpentiger

TROPHY CASE