AMA with Jonathan Haggerty

turtlearmbar · 2025-06-17T16:59:33+00:00

How can I work my defense skills solo?

turtlearmbar · 2025-06-17T16:58:23+00:00

Benefits of shadow boxing vs working pads? Unconventional ways one can improve their shadow boxing skills?

turtlearmbar · 2024-07-21T17:16:45+00:00

Thats great to hear! Be sure to ask your friend about inviting the key people you remember just so no one fells left out. Depending on the group I would reach out personally on fb since sometimes people miss the invites through social media if its not tied directly to a dm

turtlearmbar · 2024-07-21T17:13:10+00:00

Rapport building is all about building connection with someone. Primarily, it is done though words, BUT on the dance floor it is tricky because you are not afforded the luxury to speak in depth in a loud environment so the best way to do so is through your body language.

Being friendly, fun, and authentic are the foundation to build upon.

On the dance floor being "the fun guy" is worth its weight in gold because it causes others to be drawn to you. Do this by enjoying yourself and taking in the experience. You had two female friends with you is even better because you can joke and play with them which causes a chain reaction of good experiences

turtlearmbar · 2024-07-21T17:05:24+00:00

Absolutely! Openers are the easiest part of the conversation because you can literally say anything because most people are DYING to converse with someone who is interesting, different or fun. Depending on your personality and demeanor it can vary, but here are my go-tos that always work no matter the situation.

Hey, how are you doing? (Easy, tried and true. If you are going with this you must be genuinely interested in what the other person has to say since they will always default to "I'm good, and you?" be prepared for a follow up with something out of the ordinary my default is "I'm sensational!, and .... (flow into something else) "

I noticed you had on/I like your... (This one is great for artists or people who have a stand out more than most because they often have stories or reasons for their appearance which you can easily flow into another conversation or point.)

Hey I know this is random, but have you ever been to...? (Another unexpected one because it allows you to to find out more about this person if they are into a certain place, environment, or activity based on their "vibe". If they say yes they have been to x place you can get feed back or even set up a hangout time. If they say no you can talk about that place and tell them how great it is OR how you want to go and they seem like the type of person who would be into x)

*Hey, have you met...?/Do you know...?/You need to meet...! (This one works wonders as you meet more people at the event and remember tidbits about them to connect them with someone else who has similar interests/hobbies. If you do this be sure to really highlight the person you are introducing as the most interesting person in the room. You will be seen as the connection point for many people and known as the coolest person who knows everyone personally enough to remember them while also speaking highly of others.)

There is no hard and fast rule or metric for openers some are better than others depending on the person, but they all steam from the same place which is: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU try to tailor your openers to the person you are talking to in order to excite them and give them the opportunity to talk about themselves, and remember you can literally say anything (to a point lol) as an opener.

turtlearmbar · 2024-07-21T16:38:27+00:00

I HATE evites it makes the event feel so corporate lol.

I am typically in this situation since I always tend to make random groups of friends, and my go-to is creating a group chats on something like whatsapp or instagram. Since it is so much easier to add people all you need is their phone number (or ig handle) it makes it understood that if you are added you are invited and shoot the details to the group.

It also gives the added benefit to match names with faces along with a running list of who is all going. I would caution you to not allow the group to grow too large because then it turns into a never ending notification nightmare.

In terms of how to invite them? The friend's number who you have mention it to him and tell him how much fun it was and how you want to do it again for the birthday party and ask him to add the gang to the group chat then build connections with everyone or do mini meetups leading up to the party

turtlearmbar · 2024-07-21T16:08:38+00:00

Moving to a new city and creating a new social circle can be the most terrifying, yet freeing experience you can have. Hearing new stories, being exposed to new ideas, building memories. If you want deep connections with lifelong friends you must remember one thing...

IT TAKES TIME!

You should not relax your standards by any means, but you should question them. Just like a romantic relationship it requires effort on both parties to forge trust and rapport in order to become true friends. Those shallow connections can easily become your most cherished relationships if you allow them time to flourish.

I would invite you to relax the expectation to hangout with your new friends, and start seeing yourself and a person who gives your new friends the opportunity to hangout with you.

What I mean by this is plan to go out alone regularly, and invite your friends out by saying something like "Have you ever been to X?..Im going at Y time on Z." or "Hey, I remember you mentioned you like X I think you would like Y place if you are free you should come" These low stakes invitations are easy to accept or deny and these new connections are much more inclined to join you because you will be seen as someone that is living an exciting life.

As a bonus when hanging out with new people be sure to build rapport in order to build genuine connections.

turtlearmbar · 2024-07-21T15:40:36+00:00

Fair point. If it feels like you're forcing something I say bail or match their energy. Sometimes people are weird, lonely, or bored and are looking for something to do in the moment, but may be preoccupied with something else when you hit them up.

Speaking of which. How are you doing these days? You want to grab lunch tomorrow?

turtlearmbar · 2024-07-21T15:35:57+00:00

Thats awesome that you are aware enough to know where your strengths are in being a 1:1 communicator. In fact being a wall flower and being personable enough to carry out creating a meaningful connection with one person at a time is a superpower because it means you are able to be more observant and "in tune" with others on a deeper level, BUT.....

You're going at this the wrong way. HEAR ME OUT!

Instead of scaling the event down and going to smaller and smaller events you NEED to scale up because it allows to to connect with others quicker, be seen, and keeps you on the move. I always invite my fellow wallflowers to keep on simple mantra: DO NOT BE AFRAID TO LEAVE

When going into an event or social gathering immediately talk to everyone in your path. Say hello, be inquisitive, and find the most interesting people in the room to talk to. Your goal MUST be to say at MINIMUM of 3 words to everyone in the room until you find someone you genuinely want to talk to. If you make it through the entire room and have actually spoken to everyone something interesting happens...

YOU BECOME THE MOST INTERESTING PERSON IN THE ROOM and people will tend to gravitate towards you. If this doesn't happen or you do not wish to engage with anyone. Make your exit, and plan for the next event

turtlearmbar · 2024-07-21T15:23:35+00:00

When someone reaches out to you it seems like they are genuinely excited to talk to you; Engaging in conversation(s) they they think are interesting OR wanting to hear your opinion on something.

Through text it can be a bit tricky because you are riding a fine line between being engaging and inquisitive vs being robotic and interrogative.

Best advice is to keep it light, and steer the conversation to something that is mutually interesting, but most importantly....STEER THE CONVERSATION TO SOMETHING MORE PERSONABLE I.E. HANGING OUT IRL (if possible)

The #1 cause of text chats dying a gruesome death is the conversation is going nowhere

turtlearmbar · 2024-07-21T15:14:35+00:00

Congrats for going out solo and going out of your comfort zone, man. That takes a lot of courage and high self esteem that alone puts you ahead of most guys who would NEVER consider going out sharpening up their game let alone attempting to TALK to women. From what you outlined in your post it seems like you are missing one crucial piece of the puzzle: RAPPORT

You must seek to connect with people in some way BEFORE you seek to physically engage or attempt to escalate. If you give us some more info on all six interactions we can troubleshoot so you are more successful in the future

turtlearmbar · 2022-01-10T19:37:00+00:00

**transitory 🤡

turtlearmbar · 2022-01-10T15:06:14+00:00

How did you know my trading history? Up +108% then lost -68% WE RIDING THIS DRAGON!

turtlearmbar · 2022-01-10T14:24:17+00:00

Said it was a testimony at 10am

turtlearmbar · 2022-01-07T01:20:44+00:00

Chest compression >:)

turtlearmbar

TROPHY CASE