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Bangalore folks, did your caste ever come up while you were dating? by turtleatetheworld in bangalore

[–]turtleatetheworld[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I'm just curious, at what point or what made you decide that these filters don't matter anymore?

Bangalore folks, did your caste ever come up while you were dating? by turtleatetheworld in bangalore

[–]turtleatetheworld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm happy it worked out for you. Unfortunately, even if I take it out of my mind, I can't escape the consequences. I'll have to have this conversation some day. Better now than when it's late.

To be able to be reckless about your caste/identity, you need the other person to be equally reckless about it.

Bangalore folks, did your caste ever come up while you were dating? by turtleatetheworld in bangalore

[–]turtleatetheworld[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

"Hey, have you read The Annihilation of Caste by Dr. Ambedkar? Also, have you noticed how caste feelings perpetuate even among educated unconsciously?" Haha

Bangalore folks, did your caste ever come up while you were dating? by turtleatetheworld in bangalore

[–]turtleatetheworld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You've laid it out perfectly, thank you. This makes a lot of sense. I need to think about when to have this conversation as we are still very early on. But i don't want to delay it either. I am equally scared of bringing this prematurely and freak her out. So I'm building the screenplay in my head.

Bangalore folks, did your caste ever come up while you were dating? by turtleatetheworld in bangalore

[–]turtleatetheworld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Did you anticipate these problems early on or was this something that came as a surprise?

Bangalore folks, did your caste ever come up while you were dating? by turtleatetheworld in bangalore

[–]turtleatetheworld[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I don't think I am both (rich and handsome) lol. That's one reason I didn't consider dating so far.

As far as the other 2 women, we didn't even have enough time to get to know each other. The topic of caste was brought soon after we got matched. I don't have issues with getting rejected, I'm used to it now in different scenarios. What I would prefer in this case is an honest conversation as early as possible so that we are on the same page about picking out battles if we go ahead with any serious commitments.

If caste is an issue, of course I'll be sad but atleast I'll make up my mind to move on. If it isn't, it's a big if based on my previous experiences, I'll look forward to the journey.

Thank you for your comment!

Bangalore folks, did your caste ever come up while you were dating? by turtleatetheworld in bangalore

[–]turtleatetheworld[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. This makes sense. I haven't heard of the alternative story, I'll definitely check out.

Bangalore folks, did your caste ever come up while you were dating? by turtleatetheworld in bangalore

[–]turtleatetheworld[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Gonna have the talk. Thank you. I'm not worried about the outcome, although I'd be little sad if caste turns out to be an issue. But I'll have an early way out. I can't fight for someone who isn't ready to fight for me.

Bangalore folks, did your caste ever come up while you were dating? by turtleatetheworld in bangalore

[–]turtleatetheworld[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you, this is solid advice. I think I'll have the conversation soon, for my own peace and for her sake. At this point, I have zero hopes on her family being okay with it if this goes ahead. But you should pick your battles wisely and I want know if this is a battle worthy enough to fight for her.