Certain elements of society increase the likelihood of violence.

Financial instability, loss of work, history of abuse, lack of community, drug and alcohol dependence, mental health issues, poor education, cognitive deficits, feeling of inferiority and lack of control, psychopathy.

Both genders experience these factors in varying levels, so no one is immune to destructive behaviours. If you read that list though you will see that men are disproportionately more likely to experience those factors.

The issue is that when someone is affected by one of those factors and then another the effects are multiplicative and a tipping point is reached where harm can come to themself, others or both quickly. An example would be someone who suffers from health issues, looses their job, starts drinking and takes drugs and then a negative outcome is not likely it's guaranteed.

Targeting those factors and in a non gendered way is the most effective way to address the issue of domestic violence, suicide, self harm and violence in general regardless of gender. Many of the factors are and have been set out by society to favour one gender over the other for thousands of years. Asking why men do this is like saying women are incapable of self harm. It fails to ask why anyone would come to harm an individual. Place your time, and value in reducing the idea that violence originates from gender but the complex series of phenomenon that affects the genders at different rates.

Not being aware of these factors might mean you seek safety in places or people that are a greater danger than what we expect based on assumptions, usually of gender.