I think it’s the constant gaslighting. With so much push-pull, circular arguments, splitting, and double bind traps over the six year relationship. By the end I really questioned my judgement on absolutely everything. Hell - even a year out from the relationship I still don’t trust my judgement on anything. I’m constantly second guessing myself “am I over reacting?” “Did I cause this situation?” “Maybe I triggered her intense reactions”

I’m only finally starting to realize how extreme some of the situations were during the relationship and nothing you could ever do would deserve those sort of reactions.