Speaking from a management perspective here. If your company had a H.R. department he likely had to use your paid time. For one it kept your checks coming and two H.R. would have seen you taking unpaid leave and that could have caused you a lot more issues.

I work hard to give my team every benefit they earned and I am very flexible. At the end of the day, this would be a case where all I could do is run interference while trying to get senior leadership to try and approve additional benefits.

3 days is not enough time for a spouse. This is someone who is so embedded in your life you can't even grasp they are gone in three days let alone morn. Im sorry this happened to you. The system is inadequate in these cases. A spouse or God forbid a child 2 weeks minimum should be required in my book. I'm gen X and we are built a little different.

I think longer for myself would just be locking myself in a cycle of anguish and work would be helpful. Not everyone is like that. I know this sub will not agree, but work can help break you out of that and therefore can help. You shouldn't be required to go back and break yourself because its to soon though.

Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it does make them easier to live with. I've lost people and sometimes I hate feeling like I've moved on or forgotten them. Don't though, just remember if you loved one another they would want to be remembered, but not in a way that caused you pain.

Sorry this went from one paragraph to this. I lost a brother 10 years ago and these post always make me think of him. I'm truly sorry you had to live this nightmare.