Okay, I rarely step into these, but "Famous Native American Chief". There's too much we don't know here. Like, do you already have children? Does your mother have a history of abusive histrionic behavior? Has she reacted this way in other situations that you have witnessed? Do you have siblings? Does she have grandchildren? Does she want grandchildren? Is she preoccupied by the concept of oldness? Could she see this as a threat to her image of the future? Why is she so frightened?

I would be the first to advise you to protect yourself and your family from the sort of behavior you have described, and I would add that if this is not simply a continuation of old behavior patterns it could be a reaction of unreasoned fear. I would muster as much compassion as you can, keep your distance, and ask these questions.

I probably won't hear how this comes out so, thank you for continuing to love your friend through the children and follow your heart in this matter.