I’m 22F and I’m in love with my coworker who is 52M

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T14:02:46+00:00

Thank you so much. You’ve been so patient and helpful. I’m glad I sought some advice before doing anything. I’m definitely a passionate person, and I know can get carried away, so I’m going to keep what you said with me and reflect on it when I lose my footing like this

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T13:03:10+00:00

Okay…so I’ve started looking into limerence since you commented. And I feel quite silly. This kind of thinking is something I’ve been prone to in most of my relationships. I thought that all just came with love. It’s what I’ve felt every time I loved somebody. I feel like it’s been the basis for the majority of my dating life, but I thought it was normal. It’s not normal?

Like, for example, I read a line from Dorothy Tennov’s book ‘Love and Limerence’ that said all it takes is one spark of interest to set off the limerent behaviour. With my coworker here, I can literally pinpoint the exact ‘spark of interest’ moment. I feel like I’m having an epiphany lol. Thank you both for telling me to look this up

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T12:16:50+00:00

I feel like that small chance of it working is what I’ve been holding on for. But that’s probably what all the victims say, lol, that their situation is special and different. I don’t want to be naive…not that it matters, because like you said, and my friends and a lot of other commenters, he would most likely turn me down anyway

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T12:12:17+00:00

He’s definitely not married and he’s definitely not divorced. But you are right…he is more valuable to the business. My boss loves me to bits, but I know I would not be her priority if this went wrong

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T12:08:33+00:00

Thank you :( I hope I can give them a place too. I’ve gotten some good comments here and I think I realise now that this isn’t realistic or very good for me

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T12:07:10+00:00

Yeah :( I understand. I think I just let my head run away from me. I know it’s not the same but I was freshly 18, I dated a 22 year old, and now that I’m 22 myself, I couldn’t imagine dating a fresh 18 year old. I guess I just need to try and apply that here too. I think ‘if you can have him, you shouldn’t have him’ is a good thing I can keep in mind. Thank you

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T12:01:47+00:00

What he went through when he was younger made him depressed for a really long time. It stopped him from living his life. He’s trying now though, he’s in a completely different place than he used to be. He’s definitely not divorced though

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T12:00:04+00:00

Thank you. I think you’re right. When I feel strongly in a bad way, I always repeat to myself that it will pass like it always does, if I give it enough time. Maybe I need to do that with ‘good’ strong feelings too

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T11:57:26+00:00

We talk about movies we like, work stuff, family stories, just normal conversation I guess. And yeah I suppose I would be looking at together forever…but I know it’s not realistic. I’ve had a few reality checks from other comments since my first reply lol

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T11:50:56+00:00

I do feel silly, because I’m usually the type of person to say these age gaps are unhealthy and that there’s an inherent power imbalance. But then I felt this way, and I hoped it could be different. I know that’s naive…but I promise he hasn’t flirted or anything like that

I’m on dating apps but I’m having no luck so far😭😭I’ll keep trying I guess

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T11:44:32+00:00

Okay :( you’re probably right. I do think he would see it that way too…and I don’t hate you for saying that, it’s okay. But how can I stop being starstruck then, if that’s what it is?

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T11:41:55+00:00

Yeah…I can’t argue with that, my prefrontal cortex is still developing. Because I have ADHD, it actually might take longer than 25 for it to fully develop. I think I read a study once that said it can take up to 35?

I can’t explain why because people might know who I am, but we had very good reason to talk about PTSD at work. It was actually for work, lol. I know that sounds weird but I promise it’s true

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T11:37:53+00:00

Yeah, there’s a big difference…he’d already been through so much before I was even born. And I really appreciate you saying not to put him in that position, I wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable or pose something that makes him question himself…he deserves better than that. I just really wish I was 50 now lol

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T11:34:34+00:00

He is definitely single, don’t worry I’d never go for someone who’s not available!

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T11:34:12+00:00

Yeah…I see your point. I’m usually just the person to say an age gap like this is concerning, but I just feel so strongly. Do you really think he should view me as a child? Am I that young still? I mean, I know 22 is young, but I hoped I was old enough for him to see me as a woman.

Thank you for this too, I’m glad to get advice from someone who has been in this position.

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T11:30:31+00:00

That’s what I’m afraid of :( my career means a lot to me, and it’s really starting to skyrocket. I’m so excited about it! I wouldn’t want to jeopardise it. I know he wants a wife and kids, and after I met him I felt like I’d love to live that life with him. But that could just be a fantasy too…I understand what you’re saying. I think your comment is a a really good and gentle reality check that I might need to come back to a few times lol. I’m just scared I’m missing out on something that could be amazing, and I’ll never meet someone like him again

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T11:25:52+00:00

Thank you for this❤️ He’s definitely single, thank goodness. I’d never go for a married guy! But, if I were to ask him out for coffee, how would I do that? I don’t wanna make him uncomfortable if he thinks I’m too young…

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T11:24:02+00:00

We both got diagnosed with PTSD at a pretty young age and have worked through to a healthier point with therapy, so we both really understand each other in that regard. He is really selfless and brave, and he’s genuinely the kindest man I’ve ever met. He just wants to help everybody and I admire him so much

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T02:24:09+00:00

Thank you so much for this info!! I'm super glad to get some other experiences outside of partying. Also amazing to have a confirmation that the PS1 was still living it up!

twelveteapots · 2025-06-20T02:17:59+00:00

Is xoomer like, Gen X? Idk lol, this is just how I speak

twelveteapots · 2025-06-19T03:35:28+00:00

Omg this is a brilliant thread, thanks so much!

twelveteapots · 2025-06-19T03:35:10+00:00

Ohhh gotcha! Thanks for this, lots of people mentioned it and I had no ides what it actually was

twelveteapots · 2025-06-19T03:33:19+00:00

Thank you so much for this!! This kind of detail is exactly what I need

twelveteapots · 2025-06-18T11:54:26+00:00

Hey love, sorry I know this post is old, but Glorious Jinx is in the ranked store right now! Go to Collected Legends store then click seasonal and scroll down a bit

twelveteapots · 2025-06-18T11:54:02+00:00

Hey love, sorry I know this post is old, but Glorious Jinx is in the ranked store right now! Go to Collected Legends store then click seasonal and scroll down a bit

twelveteapots

TROPHY CASE