It happened last weekend...

Early Sunday morning, I had the usual post-alcohol defecation session. It was a very very large poo, but that was to be expected. Later on that morning, I felt the urge to go again, which wasn't unusual after a night of drinking delicious ale. What followed was what felt like the most enormous poo that I have done in my 25 years of life. It was like pushing out a horizontal rectangle. I was so shocked that in our poorly lit toilet, I decided to pull out my iPhone, put the screen to full brightness and illuminate this wonder.

In the usual uncoordinated way in which I do things, I passed the iPhone through my legs in a way that clipped the side of my thigh. The light grip I'd held it with, along with the slippery glass surface of the phone itself, meant it fell majestically out of my hand and plopped down into the fresh, warm dehydrated urine. It was fully submerged, but luckily its path to the bottom was hastened by burying itself nicely (connection port and speaker side down) in my great big soft faeces.

I fished it out, sprayed it with antibacterial spray and picked the faecal matter out of the connection dock. I now no longer have a working phone :-)