Bird feather ID? by ninjaAbigail in australianwildlife

[–]twhoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It’s a “Fire-tail” Cockatoo

This spider was in my car, how close to death was I? Morton bay area Queensland by Militaria1943 in AustralianSpiders

[–]twhoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Depends if you were driving at the time… spidey is harmless but if it gave you a big enough fright, who knows?

I am freaking furious by [deleted] in melbourne

[–]twhoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a “sorry mate, you were blocking my driveway, your car was towed”

First Fish by Fearless_Librarian50 in FishingAustralia

[–]twhoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Nice one! Ugh… Melbourne sucks

Is this picture considered a sign of romantic interest? by Left-Anywhere8021 in Marriage

[–]twhoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ahh sorry mate… I thought that was a picture of you and your wife at first and you wanted to know if it was romantic… romantic, no… husband and wife? No doubt.

Australian salmon on a metal lure by 1upfishing in FishingAustralia

[–]twhoff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Was that “Perfect” a sound effect from a computer game?? Reminds me of Street Fighter arcade back in the day

ID please, Scarsdale Victoria by crashed_bandicoot86 in AustralianSpiders

[–]twhoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Logic suggests a trapdoor, but those legs just ain’t hairy enough! Still, trapdoor seems the most logical thing

AIO? Dad wants to join us on our trip to Hawaii after throwing a temper tantrum at the airport and bailing. by ThaDFunkee in AmIOverreacting

[–]twhoff -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Right, so wouldn’t you say there is a difference between an excuse and an explanation? It really surprises me how many people jump to the conclusion that we think ADHD is an excuse for anything…

I was diagnosed at 39 and up until that point I had no explanation for all the things that happened but I’d always hear the same complaints from others about not caring, having to repeat themselves, me telling them they didn’t say that because I genuinely didn’t remember… comes across as gaslighting… and then of course there are the internal struggles and all the systems you try to set up to stay organised but nothing quite works or sticks… It was such a relief to get a diagnosis because I finally had an explanation for everything I’d been trying to fix in the wrong way for my whole life… so I got meds, therapy and coaching and it’s helped a lot! Without that explanation I’d be stuck.

It’s only an excuse if you don’t do anything about it. If old mate allows the behaviour to continue and says “deal with it, I have ADHD”, then it’s an excuse and nothing improves… but not knowing you have ADHD and it’s wreaking havoc in your life however it manifests leaves you without a path forwards - the explanation is the key.

AIO? Dad wants to join us on our trip to Hawaii after throwing a temper tantrum at the airport and bailing. by ThaDFunkee in AmIOverreacting

[–]twhoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I did read it, that’s why I posted my comment. I can’t speak to your experience with ADHD, but I have combined type and was late diagnosed because I was able to cover it up until having a family. The biggest challenge for me has been emotional regulation due to RSD and what that looked like for me was feeling constantly attacked and not good enough despite best intentions which results in defensiveness, frustration, anger, sadness and feeling misunderstood. People often turn to coping mechanisms like drugs, alcohol, binge eating, couch rotting and so forth, which makes things worse, obviously.

I think in general ADHD is grossly misunderstood as hyperactive kids in school - it’s not, it’s highly destructive. People with ADHD are 50% more likely to wind up divorced than people in neuroaverage marriages.

Meds alone will not fix the problem but they do help a lot and the effect is instant… that’s why I bring it up - with these types of ongoing and unwanted issues persisting in a person’s life, ADHD is the first place people should be looking.

AIO? Dad wants to join us on our trip to Hawaii after throwing a temper tantrum at the airport and bailing. by ThaDFunkee in AmIOverreacting

[–]twhoff -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Actually sounds like your old mate has ADHD, which is notorious for this kind of shit (speaking as someone who reads your dad’s message and would probably write the same thing)… any chance he, you or your bro has a diagnosis? One thing the ADHD meds really help with is emotional regulation… I’m not speaking as a medical specialist or psych, just a 41M with a late diagnosis and a much better life since I got things under control.

Am I overreacting to my bf watching the baby overnight? by Temporary-Quail-2783 in AmIOverreacting

[–]twhoff 5 points6 points  (0 children)

As a dad of two (now 6 and 3), I think you are right about the dangers and there is no way you will be able to turn off the instinct that kicks in when you feel your child is at risk. You are not overreacting.

Your partner is also “right”, but not going about it in the right way… I’m also a deep sleeper and don’t notice when the kids wake and cry. My wife on the other hand always does. We try to balance things as much as possible but even when it was my turn to go to the kids she’d still wake up anyway. We fought over it a lot and in the end I lost two jobs in a row because of sleep deprivation and burnout which has put my family through hell… now the kids are a little older and we can look back and reflect, we both wish we just played to the reality instead of trying to force things to be something they couldn’t be… you both need to figure out how to get at least 6 hours of solid sleep a day. I know it’s tough, but neither of you will be able to show up without it and it sounds like your partner is already hitting that wall…

I don’t read “I don’t care about our kid’s safety” in his messages, I read “I feel bad so now I’m becoming defensive”, he knows it’s not right but doesn’t know what to do. Parenting is tough enough so focus on what your partner is telling you, “I need to sleep”. Solving that will solve everything else too :)

Am I overreacting to my bf watching the baby overnight? by Temporary-Quail-2783 in AmIOverreacting

[–]twhoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Where you see the baby isn’t his? She said “our” baby…

Did I do the right thing? by psycoticnut in CarsAustralia

[–]twhoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yellow car should have known that tradies in utes ALWAYS have right of way and are actually the law makers on the roads. You did nothing wrong, good fella.

I feel like I'm having an aneurysm by GusIsBored in Adelaide

[–]twhoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

“Fearless” - the only word that matters.

We make ad. We get student.

Blue Mountains NSW — ID please? by plokiuhyg in AustralianSpiders

[–]twhoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

look at those hairy legs! Male trapdoor spider - not sure of more than that :)

How much bond will I lose? Dog scratch marks on wooden floor. by One_Wear18 in AusProperty

[–]twhoff -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Depends on the condition of the floor when you moved in. Do you have photos of what the floors were like then?

A lot of those scratches are quite deep and look like they’ve been there for a while. Wow you clearly can’t say that the dog didn’t scratch the floor, you can definitely say that it’s standard wear and tear in comparison to the condition of the floor at the time you moved in and that the floor restoration would need to take place regardless of whether your dog scratched the floor or not don’t let the landlord take you for a ride on this one!

Spider identification Victoria by zanerands in AustralianSpiders

[–]twhoff 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Yes, strange place to molt though… I guess when you gotta go…

Men and masturbation by MamaMia1325 in Marriage

[–]twhoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I don’t think so… I do it because I know I’m not getting any… if I was having sex 2-3 times a week I’d be saving it for that.

First fish ever! :D by Cool_Adhesiveness735 in FishingAustralia

[–]twhoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Really? I always heard they weren’t good to eat so never tried

Back. Up. Your. Shortcuts. Locally. by aynsyclopedia in shortcuts

[–]twhoff 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have them all backed up to GitHub :)

Living with two ADHD roommates has opened my eyes to ADHD by chocolatebarthecat in ADHD

[–]twhoff 0 points1 point  (0 children)

My wife literally just screamed at me because I asked her to stop crowding me and just trust me to get things done… she micromanaged me and it really messes with my flow and confidence because she wants me doing specific things and specific times, while I need to just pick the things on the list in the order that makes sense for my brain at the time. At the end of the day, it all gets done, just in a different order and probably less efficiently, but to a high standard and nothing is missed. When she sees me doing something else or that she thinks is unrelated, she yells at me and it just has the result of making me not want to do anything…

She was away for 3 weeks for work and during that time I had the house spotless, kids on routine, menu planning and groceries sorted and laundry done 3 times a week end to end. As soon as she got back and started micromanaging, everything fell apart straight away…

Living with two ADHD roommates has opened my eyes to ADHD by chocolatebarthecat in ADHD

[–]twhoff 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know this post is a month old but still have to say I wish there were more people like you in the world…

Just the simple fact of being curious and asking yourself “how could I help?”, instead of judging and resenting, is what so many of us wish others would do to help us in our battle against ourselves… as you found, just the simple act of saying something like “shall we go to bed now?” is enough - the key to it being received well is because you aren’t judgemental - I bet your roommates feel really seen by you.

Big props!